This is offensive isn't it?

[theodorgeisel]

Hello all. This my first ever post. Didn't know whether to start a new thread or add to another.

I am furious with the message I got from my 'lover/boyfriend/friendwithbenefits'. We had discussed a week ago about going out for dinner this evening. We're both busy, so texting is always sporadic and un-gushy. He's also my ex-boss and I've known him for 15 years but the relationship is new. He can be a bit of a grump. Here goes:

We messaged yesterday, he asked if we were still on for our date, I said yes, are we still thinking of going out or are you wanting to to stay in? He said 'in then out, out then in whatever'. I thought 'okaaaay, romantic or what' but replied 'great'. Fast forward to today, I get a message at lunch saying (not asking): "See you at 7 at yours. Would it be possible to have clean sheets? Channelling my inner German so hope that is not too blunt a persona."

I was taken aback and felt it was a bit rude, perfunctory and lacking in any attempt to woo me. My reply was 'Yes, too blunt to be honest. Sheets clean yesterday but as you know I share my bed with my 6 years old and 3 year old so I do my best. No mention of dinner. Sounds like you're coming round for a shag. Let's take a raincheck'.

Am I being a dick or is he?

Thanks laydees!

Ah sorry just read the update. Sounds like a dick! Bullet dodged.

Sounds like you need to work out what you want from this, then talk to him. You’re getting egged on here, but no one knows what you two have agreed about this ‘relationship’.

Nor have they any idea about the state of your sheets last time. But I agree with a PP, I’ve never known a man to be that fussed about the sheets if a shag is on the cards 😖😂. I change my bed every couple of days because I like fresh sheets, but I can’t say I inspected the sheets before a casual shag elsewhere, so maybe he doesn’t see it as just that either?!

Anyway, you need to work out what you want, then talk to him. Getting arsey about a couple of texts is pointless. Especially if he’s good in bed once he gets there 😊

theo sorry for jumping to conclusions, I have Mother Issues on that score and am feeling particularly resentful towards her at the moment so I may have been guilty of projecting a bit at.

Should have replied “a drink? Think I need a decent shag. Hence my other plans.”

Tosser.

@AstridWhite No apology necessary! I'm so grateful you bothered to respond. Gnight friend x

He’s got six kids! No idea why he would be so fussy about the sheets if he lives in the real world. Does he not see them or something?

No apology necessary! I'm so grateful you bothered to respond. Gnight friend x

Aw, that's nice.

How unlike the uncivilised gladiator pit that is MN these days.

It was just plain rude. I've had a few FBs / planned hook-ups and on rare occasions the guys go down the ill-mannered and entitled route which means they get nowt! I don't expect red roses with no strings or two strings but good humour and fun is what it's all about. Good call and his loss OP.

I love your message to him : ). Excellent.

He sounds like his 'inner German' is pretty much who he is, and the deeper you go with him, the more you're going to be seeing of that guy.

If your kids sleep in bed with you and they are little, and he's requesting sheet changes, that doesn't bode well.

I think your rain check should be permanent. Cut it. It won't end up happy. Save yourself the distress. Find someone nicer.

Ah @newrules - he does not live in the real world. He is wealthy so has a maid.

I'll say it again - you guys are brill. So cool to read all the advice.

Oh yes, should have said - he has only been in my bed once before (usually we go to his mansion - sounds better then it is - uncozy, clinical etc). That one time my sheets were clean that day. I guess my little pad will always feel crusty to him! lol

xxx

well played Theo