That's it. After 10 years and a DC it's finished. I feel ashamed and like a failure.
It has come to an end because of my in-laws. Brother in law has been nasty about our DC since birth. The first instance was when his DC arrived and I asked what their exotic middle name meant, he replied 'superior to your dc'. I was upset but laughed at the embarrassment, this was in a room full of in-laws who all heard and no one said anything. From there it's been up and down but constant put downs about my dc.
Forward on a few years, this Christmas we went to see parents in law. Our DC is old enough now to understand everything (school age). Boxing day was horrid, mil made big fuss of the in-laws DC and almost ignored our DC, this has been the case for a while and DC doesn't bother that much with her, pretty much accepts it. DC tried to play with the cousin, ended up in the cousin just constantly taking toys away and not sharing, normal kid stuff. However when DC tried to do the same it wasn't accepted. We didn't intervene.
The next day we were due to see in-laws, DC had a meltdown refusing to see them, absolutely did not want to go. The brother in law had called him a gremlin on boxing day, DC said he didn't like him and didn't want to see any of them.
Forward on to the next day, we all go out for a day, very much as two separate groups rather than a family, end up in a restaurant where in-laws child appears to point and laugh at DC, leads to DC getting upset. At an activity, I sat away from family DH stayed with them and DC, eventually DC comes back to me looking sad and says they aren't talking to him and ignoring him, he's a very confident child who likes to play by himself so not demanding attention, but likes to be social, it is unusual for him to be this upset by something. I tell him not to worry and we sit and watch together.
The next day, brother in law etc decide to visit. DC seems excited by this, so I write off all previous as he's ok and obviously isn't that bothered by them. An hour into the visit again the cousin (in-laws DC) gets their toys and plays, not letting our DC join in, he's ok with that and proceeds to get one of his Christmas gifts out to play with, cousin then decided they wanted to play with that, DC at this point loses it at it being unfair that cousin doesn't let him play with anything and now wants to play with this. DC takes himself into another room to sit and refuses to come out until they have gone.
Now, I've friends in rl who know the complete history of this and one has gone as far to say in-laws treatment of DC over the years is pretty much bullying/emotional abuse. DC said he doesn't want to see them anymore. I told DH he needs to confront, DC is aware now of how they treat him and he isn't happy with it.
DH decided to complain about my family, after apparently confronting mil. She is nasty and has never liked me (thinks no one is good enough for her darling boys) and I believe has now turned him against me for protecting my dc. I do not know what to do. DH is threatening all sorts. He's getting a solicitor, and apparently I won't win this war. I'm sorry, this isn't making much sense I'm just so shocked that DH appears to be giving his family priority over our DC. I needed to vent, I need to hear an independent view, I did say I do not want in-laws seeing DC until they sort out their ideas of how they treat him. I removed all from social media as I couldn't face mil making comments on in-laws adorable child whilst ignoring mine...I just don't know what to do now?