DH and I have been married over ten years. Two DC. Both work. I do all the wife work. Despite repeated attempts to get him to pull his weight. He does most things I ask him to do, but I am Operations Director for the family. Exhausting.
We have stretches of time when things are good, and stretches when things are bad. Whenever we go away on holiday we have a great time - with and without the kids. We have sex (doesn't happen at home), we laugh, we get on. And I think that's because there is no wifework on holiday, so my enormous resentment doesn't get in the way.
We had a long conversation last night, and both of us are committed to the relationship, but something has to change because when you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.
And what we get is resentment from me, anger from him and no sex. Until we go on holiday!
Has anyone else been in a similar situation (it's been rough ups and downs for about 4 years), and managed to turn things around? What did you do?
We talked last night and I said that I think marriage is going to feel different to the early days - I think he has unrealistic expectations of hearts and flowers all the time. But - we aren't totally happy and when it's bad, it is hard. No abuse, nothing like that, but lots of rolling of eyes and short tempers.
Any words of wisdom?