I’m not sure if this is the right place for this, sorry, but I don’t know what to do. I feel sick and so confused and I really need some help.
Last night we had some friends over for drinks and we both (DH and I) drank a lot. We went to bed around 1am and I was feeling a bit woozy so I gave DH a kiss and a cuddle and then said goodnight and rolled over to go to sleep.
[Back story - our sex life is not great at the moment, for a number of reasons, the main one being the fact that we have three small children and I am knackered all the time! I have also struggled a lot with my confidence and self esteem. DH has been getting more and more frustrated and has openly said that he looks forward to me having a drink because I am less inhibited and therefore he is more likely to get lucky. So I’m sure that’s what he was after last night and he was definitely disappointed when I said I was going to sleep.]
I was sort of dozing, not really conscious but still aware (I was really very drunk!) and I felt him touching me and moving my clothes. I think I just rolled over and I know at one point I definitely fell properly asleep but I sort of half woke up again and realised that he was pushing himself into my mouth. I feel sick writing this. It’s all a bit hazy but I think he penetrated me anally too, and possibly other stuff but I’m not really sure.
I don’t know what to do, can someone help me please? He is acting like nothing happened and keeps asking me why I’m not speaking to him. He has been at work all day and only just got home so I haven’t had to see him, but now he won’t leave me alone. I’m actually starting to think maybe I dreamt it, but I don’t think so.
I’m so confused.