Has anybody had a VERY low key wedding? Any regrets?

[Tisfortired]

Just after a bit of advice really from anybody who has done similar.

Me and DP have been together for 10 years, have one DS together who is 4 and currently hoping to grow our family in the near future.

DP proposed to me a long time ago, about 6 years ago - between uni and having DS and other life stuff getting in the way we never actually got round to doing the wedding part!

We've been thinking about it recently and we are both quite low key, private people - he has a small family and circle of friends and I have quite a big family and 5 best friends. I'm getting to the point where I just want to be married now, for all the traditional reasons, I love him being the main one! But also financial security, to have the same surname as my children which is another big one for me.

We have been discussing having a very small wedding, (ie just us and DS and the witnesses, probably our mums.) then maybe a meal with immediate family, and then to go on a honeymoon just the two of us for a week to our favourite place in Italy.

I have never been interested in a 'wedding,' I have been to a few in the past couple of years with my friends gradually getting married and although they have all been absolutely lovely, it seems such a huge expense for one day and I really don't like being the centre of attention, I think I would be stressed and anxious all day that everyone was having a good time etc.

I guess my main question is has anybody done this, did you have any regrets? I am worried about not having the wedding dress experience, first dance etc - although I am actually not interested in any of this stuff I just don't want to regret it in the future! I'm also worried some of our family might be a bit put out in not being involved?

I didn't even tell my parents until afterwards!

Got married on about 3 weeks notice at Dunvegan registry office (basically the registrar's front room). Only our kids and two elderly relations, who didn't know about it until the day before, as witnesses.

Loved it. Never regretted it.

Forgot to mention it was NYE 19 years ago!

Teeny tiny wedding Christmas Eve 12 years ago.
Register office - me, dh, DS (12 then) and dd (1).
We wanted to keep it a secret and we were going to get witnesses off the street but thought that might be tricky on Christmas Eve, so I ended up phoning my mum and dad the night before and telling them.
Married then home to prepare the veg for Christmas lunch the next day.
No regrets whatsoever - we regarded it as a formality rather than a big showy off day.

Happy anniversary @Skinidin

I wanted low key for my first wedding, but dps and ILS got involved so ended up a larger affair. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it a lot but it wasn't what I wanted.

When dh and I got married again I didn't want a big thing and tbh that was dh's nightmare so we had a do for just 12 of us including associated children. Was lovely. I think I enjoyed it more than my first.

If its what you want then go for it

Just realised that made no sense. First wedding was to xh. Second to dh. So when we got married, I again didn't want a big thing.

Sorry, too much bubbly. Hny all.

Snap @Katescurios we went on holiday to Las Vegas, just me & DH. No regrets at all. We're both very laid back people & hate being the centre of attention. Both have close immediate family but also lots of issues between themselves with various grudges held & some who don't talk to others etc & I just could not be arsed with the hassle!!

We had a small wedding - immediate family only (our kids, parents, siblings and their partners/kids) and afterwards just went back to ours and had open house with a buffet. It was fantastic, wouldn’t change a thing.
I did the wedding dress but just had a really low key, strapless and shorter dress. Loved it.
We had music playing in the background and cut the cake. The house was filled with people who chose to be there, they brought tonnes of alcohol(!), and it was fantastic having the kids play in their own back garden.
Absolutely loved it. Lots of people said it was the best wedding they’d ever been to (they may have just been being nice, but who cares?)
I’d highly recommend it. Everyone left drunk and when they wanted. Everyone got fed at an appropriate time and everyone had something they wanted to eat (if they didn’t then they were free to go to McDonald’s 😂)

We got married unknowingly.
I thought we were just going for a chat with the pastor and a quick run through a couple of weeks before the wedding although he did ask us to bring our rings, So we went down there, I was wearing my jumper and trainers and he then introduced us to two witnesses, a newly married couple from his church.
We went through the vowels, swapped rings, signed some paperwork and left. It took a few minutes walking down the road wearing our wedding bands to realise what we had just done.
I was young and only been in that country for a few months so confused by everything at that time.
We did the formal(ish) wedding with family later that month and been married 20 years now.

Me, ex and 2 witnesses. Very low key. We went on the bus, no meal or anything. If I get married again I would choose to do it the same. It's a piece of paper, just admin really. The day to day stuff is what's important, nothing else.

We got married in New York with no friends or family present. It was a very last minute decision (already engaged but nothing booked, due to go to NY on holiday, and decided to get married there the week before we went).

Whilst I absolutely loved how we did it, I regret not thinking about it sooner to enable us to plan a party when we got back to celebrate. I honestly do feel like I have missed out on what must be an incredibly emotional day - probably the only day in your life when all of your loved ones (friends and family) are in the same room.

I loved that it was just us and wasn't expecting the feeling of completeness that grew from being married. It has made a difference to our relationship, but I can't quantify in what way...just that it's better!

Best of luck with your decision.

I loved my low key wedding and so did our family and friends. I do wish I’d had a bit of music during the ceremony and the food was lovely and there was lots of it but didn’t feel especially celebratory.

Everything else was perfect though!

I married my DH in 2015 (I was 22). We went to the registry office with our mums. Then had a bbq in my mums garden! Our honeymoon was one night away in a B&B because we didn't want to leave the children.

I don't regret it at all. We both hate being centre of attention and we spent less than £700 on the whole thing - including my dress and food/alcohol!

I love having the same name as our DC and to finally call him my husband. He called me his wife long before we married, but it's more special now. I feel like it's strengthened our relationship immensely.

DS was 3 and DD had turned 2 a few days previous. They still talk about it now, although I'm not sure if they fully remember.

My sister spent £15k on her wedding! I don't even know how! I knew we could never ever afford that, and I prefer a more low key event!

We got married in a registry office with just DD and our two witnesses (my brothers). No regrets. We went for a pizza afterwards and spent about £200 on the entire thing. DH's parents were a bit cross but everyone else was happy for us.

Would do it all the same way again if I had the choice.

If I got married again it is absolutely what I would do. I had a miserable day at my wedding at the end of the most stressful few months of my life. Not to mention the money...

very low key wedding - did the ironing that morning and baked an extra cake (which was consumed in minutes). Married in jeans, walked to the registry office, our little one cycled himself on his tiny trike. Informal photos, just very good friends there.

Absolutely from the beginning decided to not get stressed about anything and we didn't. Because I decided it was to be low stress and -our- day, I had to make a few hard decisions about inviting certain family or not, but once that was done (the right decision was made) it was absolutely great. Occasionally I think wistfully about a white dress but I was much happier this way and so was my husband

I had 18 guests at my wedding in June. Registry office in Mayfair and then afternoon tea in a hotel there afterwards.

It was the most perfect day.

There were 7 of us at our wedding - me and DH, my parents, DH's mother (father died many years ago), and DH's two commanding officers as witnesses (we were married in Italy, where he was serving, and Italian law required the witnesses speak fluent Italian).

I wore a long blush pink dress, was more like an evening gown, he wore uniform. We were married by the mayor in the local town hall, the (female) mayor burst into tears at the end as we were her first marriage and insisted on hugging me and giving me all the lovely flowers they had decorated the wedding hall with lol.

Part of this was down to practicalities, as DH couldn't get time off duty to get married anywhere else and to try to ship our friends and families over there would have cost far too much. But I actually loved it, it was a lovely intimate evening ceremony and then out for dinner.

It was second time around for me, first time we spent a ridiculous amount of money, managed to offend numerous distant relatives by inviting or not inviting people they wanted to come, and it lasted under 5 years. This time we spent under a grand, including my dress, dinner, and flights for family, and we're at 14 years and counting.

It's easy to say, but do what you as a couple want. Small can be lovely!

No regrets at all, nearly 10 years on. I would have absolutely hated a big traditional wedding and felt very stressed and embarrassed by it all.

We had a simple registry office ceremony in London; I wore a nice blue tea-dress and DH wore his best suit. We travelled by Tube. Invited parents, siblings, and a best friend each (so 12 people with partners included). Had a glass of champagne and a lovely relaxed lunch in a restaurant's private dining room, then everyone went home :).

I had my Mum, his Dad and 3 of my very close friends. Small registry office. Pub lunch after. Then went on honeymoon within uk following day

Although I’m now divorced I have no regrets and a big wedding would only have added more stress to our marriage.

Your plan sounds really lovely OP. How old is your DS?
We had 2 witnesses (my best friend, his mum) and afternoon tea in a super posh hotel and a long weekend in a gorgeous hotel in York.

The marriage turned out to be the wrong thing. But in terms of the decisions about the wedding, I don't regret anything. I hate people looking at me and I hate people coming to things because of me such as birthday parties. So it worked out really well.

Me ex and I got married in a helicopter over Cinderella’s castle in Disney Florida! Went to Rainforest Cafe in the evening and did some swimming, chilling and shopping inbetween! Just us and it was brilliant!

We had a low key wedding with 13 guests.

Two regrets. I left a couple of people out who should have been invited.

I will always regret not having a wedding dress. A dress wasn't appropriate for a registry office, but all the same, I am sad when I think about not having had one.

Ours wasn't quite as low-key, but it was a small, intimate wedding. Immediate family plus 4-5 friends, maybe 20 in all. A lovely venue that was meaningful to both of us, vows we wrote ourselves, a cake I made, and the reception was a meal at a restaurant. I did buy an outfit, but it wasn't the White Dress. There was no First Dance (there was no dancing!), there were no Speeches (my mum wanted to stand up and say something, so she did, bless her). There was no pomp and ceremony at all. The Registrar was lovely, and she wove our vows into the official words beautifully.

It was the loveliest day. I was terrified. I was overjoyed. It was our wedding and the best wedding we could ever have had.