Has anybody had a VERY low key wedding? Any regrets?

[Tisfortired]

Just after a bit of advice really from anybody who has done similar.

Me and DP have been together for 10 years, have one DS together who is 4 and currently hoping to grow our family in the near future.

DP proposed to me a long time ago, about 6 years ago - between uni and having DS and other life stuff getting in the way we never actually got round to doing the wedding part!

We've been thinking about it recently and we are both quite low key, private people - he has a small family and circle of friends and I have quite a big family and 5 best friends. I'm getting to the point where I just want to be married now, for all the traditional reasons, I love him being the main one! But also financial security, to have the same surname as my children which is another big one for me.

We have been discussing having a very small wedding, (ie just us and DS and the witnesses, probably our mums.) then maybe a meal with immediate family, and then to go on a honeymoon just the two of us for a week to our favourite place in Italy.

I have never been interested in a 'wedding,' I have been to a few in the past couple of years with my friends gradually getting married and although they have all been absolutely lovely, it seems such a huge expense for one day and I really don't like being the centre of attention, I think I would be stressed and anxious all day that everyone was having a good time etc.

I guess my main question is has anybody done this, did you have any regrets? I am worried about not having the wedding dress experience, first dance etc - although I am actually not interested in any of this stuff I just don't want to regret it in the future! I'm also worried some of our family might be a bit put out in not being involved?

We got married on our 20 year anniversary of being together, just the two of us, our four DCs and two witnesses, meal afterwards and then we all went to Disneyland Paris.

Do it. We had a big wedding and I don't know what I was thinking. What a waste of money. I really regret not doing it small.

I think that sounds lovely OP. For what it's worth, I have read that the length of time marriages last tends to be in inverse proportion to the amount of money spent on the wedding. Of course this isn't universally the case, but it seems that the more £££ people spend on the wedding, the less likely it is to last - perhaps because they are more interested in a fancy wedding day than in marriage itself?

A friend of mine went off quietly one afternoon with her DP and witnesses for a registry office wedding. They went out for fish and chips at the seaside afterwards. And about 10 years later are still going strong.

I had a somewhat low-key wedding with just a few guests (mostly family) and lunch afterwards. When I turned 40 I wanted a big party and had one (actually two, in two different cities). I have no regrets at all about either. (initially it felt strange to plan a bday party for myself but I got over it). It's not the only time you'll get together with friends and family to celebrate milestones, so if that makes sense for you, do it!

Very low key, arranged to get married whilst on holiday, all booked through travel agent, we told no one, we decided best to piss everyone off than have people feeling left out. Much easier decision for me though as DM passed away, DF remarried and socially inept. DP’s mum was very upset and still refuses to talk about it, but she did get to see her DD married in white with a big do, unfortunately this ended in divorce not many years later, we have been together 27 years, married for 19 of those.

We told our DMs and our DC that we were going out for a meal. As the taxi pulled up outside our house where we all were, we told them where we were going. We then went for the meal afterwards and came home and drank too much prosecco and listened to music. It was a great day, don't regret it one single bit. Neither of us wanted a wedding, just wanted to be married.

We had been together for 10 years, got married in the Registry Office, only the jeweller knew until the night before when I asked my Grandma & a very good friend to witness. No party, no honeymoon, just us. We went to a local pub the next day for a close family meal & that was it. It was very easy & our family was brilliant about it, no regrets whatsoever!

I did and for the same reasons, I would've hated being centre of attention. We just had 2 witnesses (friends from work) and the 4 of us went for a meal afterwards, it was lovely. Told parents the day before, think they were a bit disappointed but understood completely. No regrets, do what feels right to you and DP. Oh and I third what Blind said, it was totally about how we felt about each other, really intense and emotional.

No regrets.

Us, our DC, parents, step parents, gran parent, siblings and nieces & nephews.

Took ourselves off to the registry office- I had a gorgeous sixties style dress. Ceremony then lunch at a nice restaurant. Then DH and me left the kids with his mum and SFil and went away on honeymoon.

Perfect day.

We then had lots of little celebrations with various friends when we came back.

Just our kid and 2 witnesses at our registry office wedding. Over and done in 10 minutes, a quick meal at a local hotel (one witness was on the clock for getting back to work), then DH and I went to a fancy hotel for the night. He was at work the next morning.

This was in October this year. We've been together 17 years, have a 12yo DS, and at the time of the wedding I was 7 months pregnant with our second baby. I bought a maternity dress off ASOS, we had some rings custom made, and we took a couple of pictures on our phones. That was it. It was more a formality than anything and I was never into the idea of an event wedding. I just wanted to call him my husband legally after a decade of doing it anyway, give us all a family name, etc. We've been married in spirit for years and years.

I don't regret it at all.

First wedding - about 50 people, registry office, hotel buffet. Best part of the day was going back to the pub in the evening with all our mates.

Second wedding - about 15 people, registry office, sit-down meal in nearby hotel, then back to my parents house for champagne and cake (they approved of this one!)

Third wedding, later this year - will be 6 people, that's all. Registry office, meal at nearby restaurant. Nothing fancy at all.

I'm hoping I don't go through a fourth but, if I do, I reckon just the two of us on a beach somewhere!

We aren't very social plus DH was very aware he would miss his late parents so we had 10 including us and went to the old blacksmiths cottage in Gretna Green (we are from NI). This politely ruled out elderly relatives who couldn't travel and we just had my parents, dhs cousin (like a brother)and wife, dhs best friend and wife, my best friend and dh and us.

Me, him 2 witnesses, got married and registered dc at same time

Went for sausage and mash after

The relationship did not last but never regretted the way we did it

Ours was very low key.
Me, wife, 2 witnesses and a child. Off for a meal afterwards and then on with our lives. Brilliant.

Yep, 6 guests, ceremony, something completely out there but outing to follow then a meal at the hotel. It was fantastic.

I detest weddings and everything about them. Why anyone would want to be the same as every other sheep and spend thousands on one day, on things like flowers and cakes and favours for people they probably don't even like is beyond me.

We ran off to Vegas. Had tried to do a small low key ceremony in the UK with immediate family & a restaurant after, but found we couldn’t cull the guest list beneath 30 which made the whole things against what we actually wanted. So elopement it was.

We’ve never regretted it, suited us perfectly.

One of my brothers had a tiny registry wedding with just 5 guests including my parents & SILs mum and a lovely meal after, that suited them perfectly.

We’re a bunch of introverts in my family.

Just us and two witnesses, professional photographer so we have decent pictures.

No regrets whatsoever. Two main reasons for the decision - 1) I didn't want a big white wedding / to be centre of attention and 2) both sets of our parents are divorced with partners, children, step children etc and it would have cost a fortune.

Had a wonderful honeymoon with the £ instead.

Married 20 years next year

We had a low key wedding. It was in a small church then back to ours for champagne then a meal in the evening in an Italian restaurant ( I changed out of my dress for the restaurant into a normal dress ) then back to ours for a party it was such a special weekend there was 8 of us. I loved the fact we could plan as we wanted no annoying people there or drunk people & feeling obligated to invite people you don’t like. The planning was so fun there was zero stress it was a special few weeks before it. Il never regret it!!

I did this. We got married on £ 5000, including engagement ring and honeymoon. Would have been a lot less but we splashed out on a nice engament ring since that’s the part that will be around forever. The only regret I have is only spending £89 on a dress from Debenhams, it looked shit. You don’t have to have a full merangue to have a nice wedding dress.

My main motivation was knowing that I wouldn’t look forward to a big wedding due to worring if people would have a good time. And I’m a fairly extrovert type.

Have the wedding you want x

Marriaged in a registry office in our lunch breaks - invited just our parents, the night before. Spent the night in a B&B in a seaside resort and back to work the next day.
Never regretted it.

Also had a small wedding - 12 guests total.
Off to the pub for lunch after, few ballons & some fizz. Packed everyone off at 18.30 then flew to Italy the next morning.

We did throw a huge party when we got back which was lovely however it was in a local hall with a DJ & burgers

The only "real" wedding thing i had on the day was my dress.

Mine will be low key (abroad in registry office, honeymoon straight after)
For reasons similar to yours we decided we'd just go abroad and just do it. No one got invited, just me and Dp are going and we'll have a party when we get back. I think a few family members were surprised but it's US doing it and why we want to get married is way more important than how to us both.

We’d been together for years and had 2 kids and really didn’t want the stress of a big wedding.

We had a midweek registry office wedding, siblings and parents invited (my DH invited 3 friends as he has no sibling). We ended up with about 20 people. Had a buffet in the pub across the road from the registry then back to ours for some champagne and the remaining food. We chucked everyone out at about 7pm as it was the kids bedtime and had a lovely honeymoon (Just the 2 of us). It was perfect and I wouldn’t have done it differently.

Just us and two witnesses at local registary office, didn’t tell family until a few days after! It was a lovely day, the 4 of us went for a champagne afternoon tea afterwards.