partner says no one will want me

[nohopeleft]

so, after two years of trying to leave my husband I finally did it, we are amicable.we just grew apart.
Anyway, so he is still very good to me, always making sure I'm ok and helping out with things.
This morning while he was over to pick up some paperwork he asked how I was doing being single, he then smirked and said 'well you do realise no one will ever want you, two kids, stretch marks, socially anxious and Moody'
He saw he upset me, gave me a hug and said I'm sorry that all slipped out but its the truth plus you nag too much.
I got angry and told him to get off me and get out, He honestly has not ever said anything remotely nasty to me ever so I overreacted I think.
He then said the only type of guy who'll want you will be overweight ugly and boring and then you will realise what you've lost in me.
it's true during the last year of marriage I nagged none stop and hated myself for it but my husband was absolutely useless at doing anything and I mean anything and I hated how I had become.
I can't help feeling upset about what he said though, I'm raising my kids in a religion that may seem strict to people and I do have a problem with social situations, I just clam up. Also although I'm in great shape I have a ton of stretchmarks. That's more than enough to put anyone off.
I don't have any hope do i?

Oh god that old chestnut. Couldn't he come up with something more original. He's just trying to undermine your confidence. Probably worried you will meet someone else. You need to distance yourself from him - a lot!

What he said is disgusting, OP.

I am sure you are a beautiful woman. Stretch marks are signs of growing as a person, changing and carrying your babies. Your partner is foul for disrepecting your body that has created his children. And in regards to nagging, he is disgusting for trying to bring you down and mark your opinions as worthless.

You are worth a million of him.

OP. It might be time to move any last bits of his out of YOUR space. There's nothing wrong with you inviting him in to see the children if you think it benefits them, but it sounds as if he feels he still has his own space in what is now your home. Sod his OCD. Bag all his 'paperwork ' and any remaining bits and pieces up and give it to him next time he 'pops over'. Hopefully it's not too much paperwork?

If he's not in your space you might find it easier to get him and his nasty comments out of your head

I thought if he s saying it it must be true

No, it’s vecause he knows what buttons to push to punish you for dating not to want him. Nasty piece of work 😡

Hahaha

Wot a nob.

The truly beautiful thing is, if he is a lazy manchild, the novelty is going to wear off pretty quick for his new squeeze, and she will end up nagging him. He will fail to understand why it seems he can NEVER get away from nagging partners.

You've got to admit, that's pretty funny

He is seeing you succeed and can’t stand it so is lashing out and trying to drag you down. It is fucking pathetic. You are absolutely fine op and there will be plenty of people out there who are attracted to you both physically and personality wise. And he KNOWS it. Just laugh in his face next time.

Wow. That is horribly, horribly cruel. All the more so if he wasn’t given to saying things like that.

I guess he has been holding on to some bitterness for some time and saw a chance to wound you.

Says more about him than it does about you though.

Did he admit fault in the split? Or does he tend to think of himself as blameless?

If I were you, I would quietly start drawing some boundaries. No need for him to come over and ‘help’. Could you box up his papers for him so he’s not endlessly faffing about at your house?

I was told that every day for a couple of years and more so after I left the man. I am now married again to a wonderful man, my two children adore him and his me. Take no notice, he is trying to make you think that, when in fact I suspect you are just lovely xxx

Queuing up to say I've been told similar to the op by my disgusting exh 'having a baby ruined your body' 'no one will put up with you' and my equally nasty exp 'you'll never find anyone as good as me' Bull crap.

And then there are exes I split amicably with who I'm still in touch with would wouldn't say those things to anyone - because they arnt unhinged.

I suspect the horrid ex feels threatened by the independent op - it will be self serving somehow.

Op minimal contact with him from now on don't give him another opportunity to be horrible to you.

And yes yes to men not giving a shit about stretch marks. I started dating when dd2 was 1 never had any complaints! I still have stretch marks