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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Facebook blown his story, the dick

43 replies

applefalls · 28/12/2017 21:17

New BF, lives abroad. Told me he was gutted at not spending Christmas with his oldest friends as he has to come back to visit a dying relative in the U.K.

A mutual friend shared photos of his (fairly recent) ex at the same Christmas night dinner he was so sad to miss.

She's wearing something special he gave her. He never mentioned she would be there.

If he had, I wouldn't have thought twice. As it is, given he listed all the people going several times except her, I'm wondering if I've been an idiot.

Or am I over reacting?

OP posts:
MyBrilliantDisguise · 28/12/2017 21:18

No, he's a liar and a cheat. Dump him.

CremeFresh · 28/12/2017 21:20

Not sure I follow this - so is there an actual dying relative or did he make it up? Are you in the uk ? Has he gone to a party with his ex ?

IntoTheFloodAgain · 28/12/2017 21:21

No I’m not sure eother, has he lied about being in the UK?

Original poster
applefalls · 28/12/2017 21:23

No, there's definitely a dying relative so he didn't go to the dinner.

I'm in the UK but too far for him to travel to see me.

He missed a dinner party his ex went to.

He never mentioned she was going.

Sorry for the incoherence.

OP posts:
bebem · 28/12/2017 21:25

So the main thing is he didn't tell you she would be there. But he wasn't there in the end anyway?

I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt!

Maybe he didn't know she was going? Or she wasn't and then she was?

Or she didn't tell him she was going?

Or he knew but thought it may make you uncomfortable? Loads of explanations and he hasn't done much wrong really Thanks

Trialsmum · 28/12/2017 21:25

So you’re annoyed that he didn’t go to a dinner that his ex did go to?

Redglitter · 28/12/2017 21:26

If he had actually been at the party and not mentioned her I'd maybe be a bit Hmm but he wasn't there. Not sure what the relevance is of her wearing something he gave her either

IntoTheFloodAgain · 28/12/2017 21:27

Sorry OP I don’t think it’s a massive issue. If he wasn’t going anyway, I don’t think there’s a need to tell you who he might have been there with.

another20 · 28/12/2017 21:27

Maybe the mutual friends invited his ex when he dropped out?

Redglitter · 28/12/2017 21:28

No, he's a liar and a cheat. Dump him

Dump him for what exactly?? How on earth is he a cheat

Olicity17 · 28/12/2017 21:29

So his ex went to a dinner, that he didnt go to and you say his whole story has been blown???

I dont get what he has done. Or why you know what gifts a new boyfriend gave to his ex.

Original poster
applefalls · 28/12/2017 21:30

Yes, I think I probably am over reacting. Thanks for taking the trouble to reply.

I just got a shock when I saw the pictures as he'd said something lovely about every person there and how very sad he was to have missed it.

It wouldn't have been an issue if he'd mentioned she was going. It was the fact he didn't that made me a bit worried.

OP posts:
glow1984 · 28/12/2017 21:31

I’m not sure what you’re upset about, like PPs

Perhaps you’re over thinking it

Indigo911 · 28/12/2017 21:31

I don’t understand this at all

glow1984 · 28/12/2017 21:31

Oops cross posted

Popchyk · 28/12/2017 21:33

He might not have known that she was going to be there in the first place.

If there was anything going on, he'd have made an effort to go to the do, wouldn't he? Particularly given the limited time he is spending in this country.

How do you know the 'something special' she wore is a gift from him? Has he previously shown you photos of gifts that he gave to his ex?

deckoff · 28/12/2017 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Josuk · 28/12/2017 21:35

OP - let me get it right - you are upset because BF - who lives in another country and who you don’t seem to see when he does fly into the UK over Xmas -
So - that BF did NOT go to some dinner. And his Ex was at the dinner. A dinner what was, presumably organised by some other person, (who is NOT your BF, and and that other person could invite people at any stage, and not publicise the guest list, especially to people NOT attending)
Did I miss anything?

Seriously, though.

How old are all of you? If under 20, i’d say - it’s ok to obsess over irrelevant thints, part of learning about life.
If over 20 - i’d say - grow up.

Original poster
applefalls · 28/12/2017 21:36

Yes, he mentioned buying it because it's something unique and quite difficult to find.

Anyway, I think I have over reacted.

Thanks for the replies. I'll leave it now and have an early night!

OP posts:
Christmascardqueen · 28/12/2017 21:36

You’re a loon. Saying nice things when people post photos is what FB is all about.

Popchyk · 28/12/2017 21:39

And if he is in this country for a limited time to visit a dying relative, is there any reason why you can't travel to see him? To support him in his time of need and all that.

MiddleClassProblem · 28/12/2017 21:41

Poor bloke. At least you can admit when you’re wrong though.

RavenLG · 28/12/2017 21:42

Pop I was just about the ask the same thing! Surely you should be more worried about supporting your partner going through a really shit time, than his ex going to a party he didn’t go to!!

GertieMotherwell · 28/12/2017 21:47

I think it was awkward for them both to go but when he couldn’t she went instead.

CotswoldStrife · 28/12/2017 21:47

How many times have you met face-to-face with this boyfriend, OP? He lives abroad yet you are not seeing him when he is here?