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Original poster

Aibu to go to work ?

71 replies

Curtains77 · 28/12/2017 08:41

Hi all hope you have all had a great Christmas !
Am posting for reality check - 5 of us in family 4 have been ill with traditionalnasty Christmas cold - fever,shots coughing etc. DH is a contractor and currently off work . I had to take day off work as felt terrible but have gone in today. Kids are ok . I did not check DH before I left as he was asleep. I am not feeling brilliant but feel I have to work as it is a team job and if I don't, the others have to work twice as hard and felt bad enough about yesterday.
He has just rung me to say I am out of order for going in without checking he was ok . I know he slept ok but n9w he says he feels awful. Am I BU and a cow for going in - leaving him with children til 330 this afternoon ? Please be honest . I feel like a bit of a cow !

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 29/12/2017 08:32

no but you left him sleeping which personally i think is fair enough - did you discuss it the night before?

Slartybartfast · 29/12/2017 08:34

oh sorry, just read you did.

Slartybartfast · 29/12/2017 08:35

i dont think anyone anywhere would agree that you need to take time off work to look after him, if you ask your work colleagues their reaction would be just the same!

PNGirl · 29/12/2017 08:38

No, you aren't being unreasonable. You had a contigency plan and he's being a martyr instead.

Karigan1 · 29/12/2017 08:39

Bet he wouldn’t think twice about going to work and leaving you with the kids if you were sick. You don’t exactly choose to work do you. If you need the money you go unless you’re that sick you can’t.

runningoutofjuice · 29/12/2017 09:10

Holy fucking shit. Make sure you remember his attitude when you are feeling rough. And just repeat it back to him. Selfish git.

dorislessingscat · 29/12/2017 09:15

Is he controlling in other ways OP? You are not painting a very attractive picture of him...

southeastlondonmum · 29/12/2017 09:16

It's not v nice to be left when I'll. I get that but my DH had to leave me the day after I returned home from major surgery because he was a contractor and had just started new job. I survived

Accidentallyexisting · 29/12/2017 10:17

Nope you are not unreasonable I would have married you if you gave me those options when sick at home. Having a helpful 15 year old is just the best and you have your dad to call if he needs back up. Another time when I was really sick and dh has to work I didn’t really want my in laws coming over to my messy house (too sick to clean) however I was sooo grateful that they helped me I got over any feeling of pride. Quickly. I do think he might make you feel bad about this. In an ideal world It would be nice to take duvet days to care for each other but you would lose your job.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 29/12/2017 23:00

Accidentally - your in laws sound lovely !
So update is this - after all the arguing last night and this Morning, me worrying and being anxious at work ( kept calm by all your good solid practical MN posts !) , him beinh ptactically at deaths door this morning and then getting somewhat cool reception after work at home this evening, then just as I am about to go to bed, DH announces 'right then - am off to the pub !' Lush. Am tired - off to bed ! 😔

OP posts:
Angelf1sh · 29/12/2017 23:25

He got better quickly 🙄 You deserve better than an emotionally blackmailing manchild op.

Mxyzptlk · 30/12/2017 00:34
Shock A day of not lazing around must have been good for him.
SD1978 · 30/12/2017 00:36

Depends for me- has he ever taken time off because you and the kids were sick? Would you ask him to?

MyKingdomForBrie · 30/12/2017 00:47

He’s a prick. He was lying, no wonder he wouldn’t go to the dr. Selfish twat.

Hauntedlobster · 30/12/2017 00:53

He sounds horribly controlling OP.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 30/12/2017 07:12

Morning x just wanted to say thank ypu all for your helpful comments - he has just woken up and is quite poorly and grumpy. It's going to be a long day ! But thank you all for keeping me sane yesterday xxxFlowers

OP posts:
Joysmum · 30/12/2017 08:16

Are you sure he is truly poorly or emotionally s he just laying it on thick to guilt trip you?

HermioneAndMsJones · 30/12/2017 09:37

Is he now?
Are you sure he isn’t actually suffering from a hangover? Or is just trying it on trying to make you feel as guilty as possible?
Someone who is ready to go to the pub LATE after allegedelly being very ill all day won’t get any compassion from me. Either he was trying it on OR he is just stupid and refusing to do the bare minimum to look after himself - because he knows someone else will be there to pick up the pieces, look after the dcs etc....

Btw did he get to see the GP in the end?
Because that would a big sign for me. If he normally ends up with steroids etc.. and this time he hasn’t needed them, I would suspect he is just a controlling idiot that’s isn’t actually that ill.

Angelf1sh · 30/12/2017 09:41

You’re describing a hangover op. Don’t mess about after him today. He’s still an adult and still capable of looking after himself. If he was that ill he’d have seen a dr yesterday when he could.

Original poster
Curtains77 · 30/12/2017 10:06

Yup no gp appointment. I know this pattern - He will just sleep now. I am not sympathetic on inside but I will play my part - Vicks steam , berocca and water on bedside table , tissues, ventolin to hand. Been through this routine several times.Wink I bore myself ! Am going to take the children somewhere as they had an indoor day yesterday xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Curtains77 · 30/12/2017 10:08

You are right Hermione - he actually is ill but he lost my sympathy when he went to the pub. He has not had an alcohol free day for 35 days (have noted) - another reason I am kind of hanging on for him to go to work in 8 days. ! I am not feeling sorry for myself - just hanging on to my sanity till then x

OP posts:
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