Why I don't do Christmas rant.....

[loulou987]

A little bit of background....Firstly I would like to say that I have a loving family & I have lots of friends. But this year I'm sick to the teeth of Christmas being rammed down my neck. I see my family & friends regularly, I am by no means lonely. My parents are people that keep themselves to themselves & they have never been the type of people to host a huge Christmas meal or anything. I lived at the other side of the UK for years so the tradition of me going to theirs for Christmas dinner didn't happen due to me living away. Since I've returned I've realised that I actually enjoy the quiet time to myself ( due to working hard ) & it's no biggie that I don't go there on Christmas Day. Like I said I see my parents probably more often than others do as we are a really close knit family. My parents are very laid back & if I prefer to spend the days over Christmas resting, they just leave me to it.

So there's the background.... let the rant begin!

I'm sick to death of work colleagues/ certain friends pushing their ' concerned ' look shit down my neck. I am a grown adult. I make my own decisions. If I say that I'm not doing anything over Christmas don't go giving me all the 😳 pretend bullshit concerned / you are weird look.

I just wish that people would mind their own business. A couple of friends I've actually had to lie to to get them off my case. I've had to lie & tell them that I have plans just to stop them inviting me places that I don't want to go to! I mean who wants to sit & have dinner with a total bunch of strangers.

I think Christmas is a load of bullshit. It's fake. It's too commercialised. People moaning about presents. People buying kids extortionate amounts of presents so then the kids just expect this every year. People going OTT with gifts. Grown adults whining that they feel worthless because they didn't get the gift they wanted.Not one person mentions the real meaning of Christmas ( Jesus being born ) people making out that it's a time for spending it with loved ones .... well if you love them that much make more of an effort to see these people like ALL YEAR ROUND! Or at least more often than once a year!

All over MN & social media people striving for that ' perfect day ' All the songs about white Christmas ffs... we haven't had a white Christmas in years! It's all fairytale!

Call me strange or whatever, but I just don't get it, it all makes me cringe a little if I'm honest.

I'm dreading going back to work, all the ' what did you get ' .... sadly I've decided to say that ' I went somewhere ' just to get folk off my back. Otherwise it will be all the ' oh poor you spending Christmas on your own ' bullshit. It was my choice. I was perfectly happy sat with my pet cuddled up enjoying the Christmas movies & peace & quiet that this time of year brings.

I'm by no means a horrible spiteful bitter person, I love seeing everyone happy at this time of year... it's all just too false & commercialised for me I'm afraid.

However I have reflected on my time alone & ive decided that next year I'm going to look into ploughing my efforts into making someone else's Christmas special - seeing as though I don't participate, I'm going to look into serving/ helping out at the homeless shelter next Christmas Day. Maybe that will be my first truly enjoyable Christmas as helping out less fortunate others on that day must be very rewarding.

I feel better now I've got all that off my chest : )

And please if someone says that they don't do Christmas.... and you believe you have no reason to be concerned ( which the people that know me should know that ) please just respect that persons wishes & stop interfering & looking at them like they are odd etc.

I am normally an outspoken person and I say what I think, but this year folk have really done my head in! I'm no charity case! Just leave me be!

And for those of you that did celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a lovely day, I had my much loved peace & quiet & like I said I love seeing other people happy, but all this OTT just isn't for me.

Thanks for reading.

Peace out 

Yes, yes yes.

My worst Christmas (or Xmas) was when I was perfectly happy to be on my own - and looking forward to it - then got persuaded (against my better will) to join others for a truly dismal day.

Well said. I for one am glad it's over.
You do you.

Allabitmuchisntit.... thank you for your kind not thinking I'm strange response : )

Sadly if my grandparents were still alive I would for sure make a fuss for them, but to be fair the rest of my family ( apart from immediate family ) they are arseholes & I don't have much to do with them so I really can't see the point in going out of my way just for them.

Small close knit family here who just lets each other be & do what they wish.

I love your post! So much resonated with me. I often work Christmas. I bloody hate Christmas anyway, so no problem. This year I had Christmas day off and didn't tell anyone! I had an amazing day to myself, best Christmas ever. Who knew sacking off the family could make such a dreaded day so different. I mentioned it to a couple of colleagues today who admit they were jealous, but I didn't say a word beforehand in case I had to deal with the head tilt patronising Muppets that are obsessed with family and Christmas. I won't generally discuss this with other people at work just as I keep my days off to myself. Colleagues can be very nosey, I keep them at arm's length. It is possible to have a laugh, support and privacy in the park place. My friends all understand so I don't have to be like that with them.

@AwfulSomething .... I love that you secretly had the day to yourself .... that makes me feel less strange : )

Oh yes, can't stand that fake "concern" many people feel they have to display.. it's stomach churning.
I'm glad you had a peaceful Christmas. Sounds like the best plan is to concoct a false story next year case to keep all these nosey people at bay.

There are many ludicrous and unrealistic expectations heaped on everyone during the festive season. Perhaps the best thing it provides it to shut the world out for a while...we don't often get "permission" to retreat and this winter celebration can be used for that purpose - time to rest, reflect, recharge and review! Wishing you a peaceful 2018.

@Dappledsunlight such kind & very true words indeed.

I was totally expecting to get flamed here... by the ' head tilting muppets ' & ' stomach churning ' fake concerned folk ( cringe ) .... oh both of those examples made me laugh 

I still believe in wishing happy new year, so I'm wishing you all the best for 2018 too @Dappledsunlight

@loulou987 There is nothing strange about you! It's a shame you, me and all the others out there can't be entirely honest, but hell if it gets us a bit of peace and calm... Too many people are so overbearing about this season of forced fun that we don't always have a choice.

I think new year is worse to be honest. All that pressure to have the perfect life.

I have a friend that think sit is very sad I didn't join her for Christmas, but as I did once and she spent most of the time very aggressively drunken screeching at me about things nothing to do with me I was happy to be in my own place in peace!!! I usually try to get away somewhere or work!

In the end it is only ONE day after all.

You do your bank holidays the way you want to OP.

I try to make Xmas special for me and my son (as it's a precious few days off together) but very low key and low stress. A £20 gift budget, a walk in the park and feed the birds, we spent more on our animals than we did on ourselves! A couple of games of Monopoly and a nice dinner, cooked by both of us (although I definitely feel like I got the lion's share of the washing up )

No "must get in the car and go to Granny's or she'll be upset"

No "must put up with uncle Derek spouting racist shit about Brexit and having to restrain the urge to stab him with a fork"

No "spending loads of money making it the BEST! XMAS! EVAAHHHH! and posting lots of proof on Instagram"

No "got my distant relation a present which I know was really uninspired but I actually don't know her but now her immediate family will look down on me forever"

I think volunteering on Xmas day is a really great thing and something I've done in the past (and if possible from the start of cold weather - if we're talking homelessness, people need help from really November onwards.)

@Deathraystare sadly that's all it means to some nowadays, to get blind drunk etc.

I did participate & go out with a close friend Christmas Eve.... thankfully it was rather quiet & not the usual drunken madness about town which was nice.

I have decided that I'm going to go back to work & hold my head up high & gladly state that I had a nice peaceful 2 days alone. I'm not going to cave & tell porkies! And if it gets too much I'm just going to have to gently tell folk to but out. Although I will surely do my best to be avoiding any Christmas type conversations to avoid any awkwardness.

On Christmas Day my dad was over the moon happy getting blind drunk with his mate & cooking up some unusual dish that they both love & my mum was busy helping out in the local community as that is what she does. So no one missed me, I didn't let anybody down & I have nothing to be ashamed about!

So ' OTT muppet head tilting - pretending to falsely be concerned ' folk watch out

I'd just say "oh the usual" when someone asks what Xmas was like for you - they don't really want to know anyway, it's small-talk.

@NotTheFordType ..... now that sounds like the low key kinda day that was lovely .... and that's how it should be as it was special for you

Unfortunately due my work schedule I'm pretty limited to what I can do, but I'm guessing that if there was ever a day that the homeless shelter needed any free help .... that Christmas would be it as almost everyone is busy.

@category12 unfortunately when I told one person my non plans ' My want to spend it alone ' spread like wildfire & folk were like vultures scratching their heads wondering like why on this earth would I do that?!

Lesson learnt. Don't over share personal information. And yes what you suggested ' just the usual ' is what will be said from now on. And you are correct, they don't want to know the small details, they just like gossip as proven when I stated the offending intentions.

I'm with you OP.

I have children ( now adult, but live with me) so I want it to be OK for them and can't duck out altogether but it's low key. They know my Christmas volunteering is important to me and that they are welcome to come along if they want to.

I hope in future we will have nice Christmases, together or not, without anyone feeling that they 'have' to do anything. However I also hope that we'll also look out for each other at this time of the year as it can be hard.

I've spent many happy peaceful Christmases entirely alone, and loved it.

Well bloody said.

I heard the best one last night. An aunt of mine was disgusted that I didn’t go to my parents for dinner. I cooked at home with my own family this year. Surely a grown adult is entitled to make the decision of staying home & I was glad to take a bit of pressure of mum. It’s like people can’t handle change even when it was nothing got to do with them.

I don't do much over Christmas and I get round the concerned faces etc by being super vague.

Them "so what are you doing for Christmas?!"

Me: "oh you know, family and stuff. Hey your jumper is lovely! What are you up to this weekend?" Etc

I almost ended up in nursing purely so I could work at Christmas.

My first Christmas on my own with my children. No cards, no decorations. We bought presents for each other, no one else. Many years later we do the same. I started Xmas shopping on 22nd less than 48 hours later we were done and we have had a lovely time. Much better than many other others

Christmas is for kids really. I feel like you OP, just appreciate a few days peace and quiet. I like to have a low key, stress free Christmas. Next year I'd quite like to go abroad for the festive season

You're so right. The competitive commercialism is grotesque and the needless pressure people put themselves under to please everyone just because you "should"... do whatever makes you happy!

We like low key too. Don't do cards and only have ourselves and two grown up children with us. We don't force anything and just do our own things. DH and I have always felt like we are odd for not getting Christmas so it's nice to read all these replies