Hi. This could be long and please go easy on me!
i Have 3 children aged 15, 11 and 3 (3 year old is my husbands)
We’ve always had problems with him spending on his credit card secretly, paying for adult work when we were seeing each other and after our honeymoon (it was only cos of my snooping I found out this, he used to hide credit card statements from me.) He was also very lazy and never helped around the house, I work full time from home and some days he’d be off and not move off the sofa all day..
Things got bad last year when he went out with his mates and decided he wasn’t happy but we carried on. Then his mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last December. Things got quite bad and once again he went out with his mates in May and said he wasn’t happy. He also lied quite a bit. One night he told me he was doing over time and he wasn’t and had booked into a hotel because he needed space! He had also been messaging another woman who was from his work. I knew he was up to something because he’s always so secretive with his phone. He never wanted to be close to me. He said we had split up but had to live together and one day we had a big row and I kicked him out. That was 7 months ago. He was awful once he’d gone, threatening etc.
Anyway 7 months down the line and we do get on well but I enjoy my own space and am independent and I guess selfish now because I earn my own money and he put us into a lot of debt with his gambling and excessive spending.
He wants me back, he wants to come home but I’m just not sure I can do it. He says he’s changed and time out has made him realise how much he misses us. (He isn’t living with husband parents) We’ve spent a little bit of time together the past couple of weeks and he still does my head in and not sure I can trust him again but I’m not sure if I do miss him? He said he lost his way after his mum was diagnosed but deep down I think there’s always been issues.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?