What are your experiences of asking a man out?

[lottieandmia22]

Of course it's a sexist, outdated notion but at the end of the day we still live in a patriarchal society.

Anyway, I've met this man through work. He gave me his number for work reasons and after that we talked a bit via text. In person I did get the feeling he likes me. But he didn't suggest we go on a date. I don't think he is married / attached.

Pretty good. There was once a guy who I was sure liked me, but he was super shy. So I asked him out for a drink and we had a very nice relationship for a bit. Go for it!

Ok, so it can work out then I guess?

People always say to me men are never shy and if they like you they will ask you out.

I've pretty much always asked first. I'm impatient and I don't like faffing

It's worked well enough; plenty of dates and two long term relationships from me doing the asking.

No, men can be shy.

I've asked two men out. One was a fun fling, one was my DH.

It can definitely work out! I met a really nice bloke ( a friend of a friend) in the pub and we swapped numbers. He made it quite obvious he was interested so I said we should go for a drink sometime. Seven years later, we’re married with a baby on the way. Go for it!

Go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Ok. I rarely meet someone that I feel a connection with. So perhaps it would be a shame to not try.

I think men can be shy, and also scared of rejection. This man thought I was "out of his league" rolls eyes forever He was very insecure though (one of the reasons we ended).

Well he is I think about 10 years older than me and I also look young for my age so he probably doesn't realise I'm 37 (nobody does haha)

We've been together 32 years now!

He gave me his card, I rang him, we’ve been married 15 years and have 3 kids.

I have always done the asking.

Once was knocked back, which was actually a really good character forming experience.

My problem seems to be I am attracted to really dysfunctional people with BPD (or a LOT of the traits).

I CBA waiting around to be asked out. If I like someone I just ask them out.

I asked a boy out when I was 13. He said no because I wasn’t pretty enough. I’ve not done it since!!!

I definitely got the feeling he liked me. He also called into work when there was no actual reason to.

Oh theothersideofthisworld 😭 poor you :(

I think it’s actually a necessary self development experience to really like someone, ask them out, be knocked back and be ok with that.

It was one of my best and most useful experiences.

You don't sound like you have a lot of hope for me Offred 😂😨

What were the circumstances? Did he just say no or was he not single?

But yes I see what you mean. Obviously if he says no I would be ok with that. I don't want to date someone who's not into me.

@theothersideoftheworld - that is tough. The lad had obviously not learned proper social skills.

You should definitely ask. It is guys who usually have to face the possibility of rejections. Many may have had bad experiences likes @theothersideoftheworld has. This would obviously make them shyer.

@lottieandmia22 go for it! Some men are so faffy, and will take years to get there if you wait. There was a guy a few years ago - we were texting daily and going on regular non-dates. In the end I was just like fuck it, and kissed him one night. We are now married!

Ha ha! No, it’s not that! It’s more just that I think many people don’t do asking because they are afraid of being knocked back but I found it really really good as self development to get over that fear!

I really liked him, had liked him for a long time, had a teenage crush on him, forgot about it, met him again as an adult. He was single, I asked him out, he said he didn’t feel that way about me, I was crushed but then I realised that actually it was ok and nothing bad had actually happened.

Since then I have not been afraid of rejection, people expressing negative feelings etc. It has given me quite a lot of emotional security.

Give him a call and ask him out for a drink. If he says no, so be it. But it could be the start of something wonderful. Go for it!

I think if I really liked someone as an adult now, I would ask them. I am married now, but think it’s an even playing field for all!

Oh I see - yes good point. I'm not scared to be rejected at all actually. The reason I hesitate is in case the outcome would be better for me if I waited for him.