What are your experiences of asking a man out?

[lottieandmia22]

Of course it's a sexist, outdated notion but at the end of the day we still live in a patriarchal society.

Anyway, I've met this man through work. He gave me his number for work reasons and after that we talked a bit via text. In person I did get the feeling he likes me. But he didn't suggest we go on a date. I don't think he is married / attached.

People always say to me men are never shy and if they like you they will ask you out.

well for one, I'm a bit shy, and if I feel person I fancy hasn't shown interest then of course I'm not going to ask her out, that would be pestering. But there again I'm not a chancer who likes to try it on with every woman in sight.

Well done you! Hope it all goes well, must be a very exciting lovely feeling esp at this time of year 💐

Thanks! I just have a feeling about him...!

theothersideoftheworld

I asked a boy out when I was 13. He said no because I wasn’t pretty enough. I’ve not done it since!!!

Don't let it put you off - your first experience wasn't what everyone is like.

DS's gf asked him out (both aged 15) - he would not have realised she liked him - they have been together nearly a year.



Is he single? You have to establish that first. I have found it annoying and rude when people have asked me out when I'm not single. A couple of questions is all it takes to avoid a lot of awkwardness.

Well he didn't say he wasn't. And after a bit of digging I think he's a divorcee. It's his responsibility to tell me if he's not single. We'll see I suppose. One of the things to look out for is that in conversation a person who's not single will accidentally refer to himself as 'we'

Poor you pollydollymolly, that must be awful. I suppose saying, I'm very flattered but I'm already taken is out of the question?

Good luck op

"It's his responsibility to tell me that he's single"

If he's flirting with you then I agree with you otherwise no - it's your responsibility to check that he's single before you ask him out!

I'm not a flirt but I also don't go around telling people that I'm married unless it comes up in conversation. When people ask me out (it doesn't happen often), I just think why did you not clock the ring or ask a few probing questions.

No need for the sarcasm cittigirl. 🙄It's happened about 3 times in 10 years but being a naturally shy person and also given that they were all colleagues I have found it very awkward and embarrassing.

Why don't you just read the whole thread Polly? I thought I had covered those things.

And merry Christmas to you too 🎄🎄🎄

By the way I have been asked out when I was taken and I just said sorry I'm taken...and that was it 🤷🏻‍♀️

He has no ring..,,I did say that early in the thread.

I think most people would be flattered or at least 'ok' about being asked out, woudn't they? If someone were annoyed by me asking them out I would think 'bullet dodged' personally.

'annoying and rude' to be asked out?

Gosh... What an unkind thing to say...

Would it occur to you that the other person would one feel bad that you said no, and two, felt extra bad as they hadn't realised you already had a partner...?

I don't find it annoying to be asked out. I simply tell them I have a fiancé or boyfriend or whatever and we move on.

I only really find it annoying if they persist after that - however, that has happened very rarely.

I think it would be reasonable for me to assume he's single. Plus he suggested the date venue & it's not an ordinary place. Although I have such bad luck with men I won't hold my breath :(

That sounds very promising :)

I hope so 🤞

Actually I definitely wouldn't bother asking a man out unless I really felt a connection.

I may not feel an immediate 'connection' with someone I've just met, but a "hey,fancy a balt sometime?"Has never been refused and gives us time to decide if we want to take the friendship further.
(Course, if they say they never eat 'foreign' they're not someone I'd want for a relationship anyway.) a fail before we get off the starting blocks, except as a casual friend.
I'm honestly not seeing a problem with suggesting a drink etc. [shrug]

The date went really well - there was a lot of chemistry & I ended up staying with him for about 6 hours. I like him a lot. We're going to meet again. Fingers crossed I guess!

Yay! I think it is fair to say everyone on this thread has their fingers crossed for you too, OP :)

Yay!
I was going to say that in my experience men who are secure on themselves won't mond at all.

I asked my Dh out. He never would have, took the plunge and 21 year's later, still going strong.