Is anyone really happy in their relationship?

[Margaritaanyone89]

Is there such thing as a happy relationship for both ends that won't end in separation?

• I don't mean to be such a Doris Downer!

I'm really curious to weather anyone know's of one or are in one?
I can confidently say, I don't have any friends/family that have one. Nore have heard of a celebrity couple who seem to genuinely have one!

Are we told that such a thing exists when it actually doesn't?!

What made me think of this, is one of my dearest friends has just got engaged and everyone including myself is thrilled for her! Except... I know that she cheated on her DP several times during the beginning. Every time we have a drink together she complains endlessly that they are constantly arguing and she's deeply unhappy.

But as far as the outside world would know, they're a very happy couple on social media.

Does anyone know of/currently have a happy relationship on both sides that hasn't ended in divorce?

& Does anyone share my scepticism/pessimism?

Yes, lots of people are and if you're not, you can make a plan to get out, even if it's complicated. Seriously 💐

My parents seem happy - over 40 years now & barely a disagreement.

I am not blissfully happy every day, & currently in a bit of a downward trough as DP is stressed with work/family and a bit depressed which is having a knock-on effect on intimacy, sex, his general attitude and our evenings/weekends. But experience shows me that this is temporary & there will be a change for the positive, given time.

Do you think your friend is more invested in ‘being engaged’ than being with someone she really gels with?

There's probably an inverse correlation between apparent happiness on social media and actual happiness in real life. So I wouldn't let that be your yardstick

I wasnt happy, I wasn't happy with the way I was treated or spoken too.
And fwiw my ex treated me like shit he was an alcoholic, violent, abusive arse but he never put the real things he used to call me on fb.
On fb it was all pictures of us with captions like 'My world' or I love my beautiful gf. Meanwhile in real life i was a stupid c##t so i wouldnt use sm as a tool to measure happiness accurately.
On a brighter note I ended it, I went to therapy and now I'm having a really fulfilling healthy relationship with myself, I'm very happy.

I don't think single people are happy every single day either OP.

I think the expectation that another person is going to make you happy every day of your life is completely unrealistic.

I love my DH. He's a good father, good in bed, kind, loving, works hard, intelligent & makes me laugh. He also annoys the crap out of me on occasion!

Basically he's a real living person and so am I. We all have the responsibility to make ourselves happy. Making each other feel happy is part of that. But there will always be times in our life when we are feeling sad or annoyed. It's just the way it is. If you didn't have the bad times how would you appreciate the good?

I feel I should add that - if your partner is abusive then it's a very good idea to leave them!

DP and I are happy. Not ludicrously romantically happy in a bouncing of the ceiling way, but content with each other and our life together. That’ll do me

YY to leaving an abusive bastard though, best thing I ever did!

I'm not always happy - life happens, after all, and it's not all rainbows and roses - but the things that make me unhappy aren't to do with my relationship and DH is one of the people that has helped me through tough times, as I've tried to help him. I am lucky enough that the majority of my friends also have good, loving relationships, although some didn't in the past, and some don't now, and I hope they don't stay in them, as nothing is more miserable. I hope you do too, OP, if you feel that way.

On the whole mine is a good relationship and I'm happy. We have our issues, but generally manage to work through them with communication and respect (his idea of 'clean' is questionable and he exaggerates quite a bit!). I was unhappy for years with exh and I wouldn't tolerate that again. If dp and I got to a stage where there was no more respect and fun then I'd call it a day.

Very happy.

There are occasional minor disagreements but we are on the same page on all the important stuff. She makes me a better person and we make a great team.

(pass the bucket now)

We’re very happy in our relationship, we are both very lucky to have found what we have and even on the rare occasion we have a disagreement we soon get over it.

I also agree with what other PPs have said about perception on social media. I know a few couples who have thrown their love all over FB and then have out of no where it seems to the outside world, broken up. It’s just another facade to put up that everything is ok. Sad really.

Yes. We have ups and downs and arguments, but I think he is the most wonderful human, husband and father going and there is nobody I would rather spend time with. I adore him and our little family and wouldn't change it for the world.

I've had a very difficult few years and I seriously can't imagine how I would have got through it without my lovely DH. He's also a great dad to our DDs. I was there for him when he lost his dad in a car accident. That's what marriage is about.

I should say, that's what a relationship is about, married or not!

14 years and still honeymoon happy and deeply in love. We’ve had some difficult patches after the kids were born but we put in the work to get through it.

We both make a genuine effort to compromise or just try to empathize with each other.

Stuff that can kill a relationship can sometimes be an accumulation of the little thoughtless things. Making an effort (he learned to deal with the way I prefer to keep things in the fridge, I try hard to remember not to leave bottle tops on the bench and put them in the bin- both tiny things, but they on top of a hundred more can build resentments) is so important.

I think the problems are there in the opening stages of some relationships but, people are in the lust bubble for the first 2-3 years & choose not to see them or admit them.

I don’t think it needs to be complicated. If you do things with your friends separately, do things together as a couple, keep the other person’s feelings in your mind & have equal libido’s, I think that’s a great foundation. If any of those 4 slip, that’s when problems begin

I think it depends to a degree on how you define happiness. Some people are happy with very little. Some need/want more.

Yes, i am ridiculously happy in my relationship. The thought of losing him is genuinely to much for me to ever think about. We've had minor arguments but never anything major.

I was.
Life had thrown a lot of shit at us, but we prided ourselves on being able to 'get through anything'.

Then he left.
Kids, marriage, everything.

Perhaps he wasn't?

I'm happy. My DH is everything I look for in a man.Tall, dark, handsome. Very sexy. Treats me well. I wouldn't swap him for the world. Sure he can be annoying sometimes (can't we all), we can bicker, sometimes I'll totally lose my shit at him....but we always end up laughing about it. We have each others backs. He treats my kids as is own. I can't imagine my life without him in it.

Yes. Second marriage and we have been married 10 years now. We haven’t ever had an arguement and we are still deeply in love. I feel so lucky to have him in our lives and I know he feels the same about me (I’m not quite so sure why!)
It is possible, but relationships often do require hard work, time and effort as well as love, affection and a sense of humour.

I am. DH and I have been together 16 years and have four kids. We support each other through everything. We still laugh together each day and never run out of chatter. We still sleep together every couple of days and it’s still great. We share all household and childcare chores equally and without pressure and we have lots of mutual friends who we enjoy spending time with together.

Yes we argue occasionally neither of us are cruel or mean in arguments just snappy. It’s almost always because one of us is hangry and the other usually works this out and gets food!

My DSis. She had an awful first marriage, her ex was abusive her. They divorced, then she met her second DH online. She married him 10 years ago this December. They are a very blended family now, he has a DS from his previous marriage, they have 2 biological children (DD and DS) and they then adopted a DS 2 years ago. They are still 2 lovebirds, which is so lovely to see.