Is anyone really happy in their relationship?

[Margaritaanyone89]

Is there such thing as a happy relationship for both ends that won't end in separation?

• I don't mean to be such a Doris Downer!

I'm really curious to weather anyone know's of one or are in one?
I can confidently say, I don't have any friends/family that have one. Nore have heard of a celebrity couple who seem to genuinely have one!

Are we told that such a thing exists when it actually doesn't?!

What made me think of this, is one of my dearest friends has just got engaged and everyone including myself is thrilled for her! Except... I know that she cheated on her DP several times during the beginning. Every time we have a drink together she complains endlessly that they are constantly arguing and she's deeply unhappy.

But as far as the outside world would know, they're a very happy couple on social media.

Does anyone know of/currently have a happy relationship on both sides that hasn't ended in divorce?

& Does anyone share my scepticism/pessimism?

We are happy. Together for nine years, married for five, one 4yo DD. Things aren't perfect but we love and trust each other and face any issues we have head on. I adore him - he is the only person who makes me happy and I couldn't be without him. He seems quite keen on me too! I don't know anyone with a perfect relationship but I know people in happy relationships.

I used to be happy. He's sweet, kind thoughtful and so very very nice! That's what annoys me, he's nice to everyone and spends too much time thinking about others never about his wife and kids. He can never make a decision himself, he can never take the lead in anything, I'm a strong woman but I would prefer a stronger man. maybe it's me that's the problem coz writing this down it seems he's perfect.

I am. He drives me nuts at times but the bottom line is he makes my life better. We laugh a lot and when the shit hits the fan we’ve got each other’s back. He’s also an amazing dad.
I agree with above about social media. The couples that go on and on about their “amazingly happy relationships” are usually liars.

I would class myself as well content, dh too I believe.

The only two couples I know that splash constant ‘totally random selfie taken together #lovemylife #blessed’ are the ones who are decided not happy.

One whose husband has run off with the same woman multiple times, but she still takes him back in because she’s got four kids and can’t cope on her own.

And one couple who have ‘seperated’ twice in the last month.

Don’t buy into the ‘show’ relationships on sm.

There's such a myth that once you meet the love of your life everything will fall into place and you'll live happily ever after.

It's not the case at all, the older couples I've spoken to who have been together decades say it's hard work. You have to make some sacrifices, you have to learn to live with eachother and compromise on some things. But the good times are there too

Yes 26.5 years married and I love him more than ever before. That said we both entered marriage with no doubts and very much in love and with no problems and similar values. We had mutual hopes and dreams. My parents separated when I was 12 and I may have been very very cautious 're earlier relationships. We were 30ish.

That said I will say that marriage can sometimes be hard work and often involved compromise and understanding. Some of life's blows possibly undermine a less than excellent relationship and start a negative circle that divides rather than cements. None of us know how we will cope with difficult circumstances and as we get older we get better at coping and children in functional, happy homes are better equipped to deal with their own lives.

None of us know in the halcyon days how our partners will respond to the tough stuff like miscarriage, death of a child, loss of parents, burglary, a business failing etc, but the longer we stay together the better we know our partners.

I’m happy. Was in a fairly rubbish relationship for a long time (he turned out to be gay) so when that ended I didn’t think I would date again. I’ve been with my DP for 2.5 years now and it keeps getting better. To be honest, I think a large part of it is because I’m having a lot of very high quality sex. I’m sleeping better, I’m calmer and more relaxed, and I feel very safe and loved. He’s a big man, with hands like shovels, and when he wraps his arms round me it’s the best feeling in the world. He’s great with my kids and I love his. He’s funny, kind, smart, gentle, has a proper grown up job and is an all round top bloke. He’s lying beside me now. I think he’s dreaming he’s a dog, because he’s running, snoring and making dog noises. But that’s really all I can moan about!

Yes I’m very happy. I didn’t meet husband until I was 36 and despaired of ever meeting ‘The One’ after years of fairly unsuccessful dating with the wrong type of guys. It certainly wasn’t love at first sight with my husband but when I fell in love it was in reality the first time I had properly been in love iyswim. He’s kind, patient, laid back, witty, generous, and treats me with respect and adores me as much as I adore him. Yes, we occasionally have niggles but rarely argue and life without him is unimaginable. Personally I think if anything should ever happen and I was suddenly single again I would remain so as I can’t imagine meeting someone half as decent and kind.

Yes, it's certainly possible. I'm very happy in my long-term relationship- life may have its ups and downs, but we have loved each other through all of it. I'm not so conceited as to think we are uniquely special.

People will come on here and wax lyrical, but take it with a pinch of salt; boasters are generally over-egging the pudding. That said, don't form your impressions from online whinging over minor niggles, or from dramatic break-ups in your real life. Lots of people around you are actually just quietly getting on with a pleasant private life.

We are happy (or at least I am and he seems so! ) Together ten years, married five and two dc and still very much in love, great sex, know he'd do anything for me etc. Don't splash too much over sm although I probably did when we first got together. I can be snappy and irritable and he is very work focused and could pay me more attention sometimes so no, not a perfect relationship but he's the best man I know and I feel very lucky to have him in my life. I play that down to friends sometimes though, especially if they are having a tough time romantically. Nobody wants to be the smug married friend. Cheating is obviously different though, maybe she just wasn't sure about the relationship at the very start?

Content is the word. We don't the fairy book highs but we don't have the lows either. We bicker but we don't properly argue. We are happy.

I'm very, very happy. Married 37 years in a few weeks and happier each year. It is very odd. I am constantly surprised at how much we are in love, lust and like. He feels the same. Calls me his prize. How did I get so lucky?

He does annoy the bejeezus out of me sometimes but is far too cute for it to last 😍

My husband is the very best human I've ever met. I feel lucky to have him every day. We are not a romantic couple and don't go in gifts etc in a big way but we have each others' back

We do disagree at times of course but more on a "thoughtful discussion" level. We have a few political issues that we don't see eye to eye on but that's fine - we don't have to be clones of each other.

Sex life is good despite 3 young DC.

I don't think we are particularly a one-off, lots of our friends seem similarly well-suited, each in our own little suburban, low key ways. In the end I think it is a million little things that make or break the love, although this tends to lead to one Big Thing (fundamental difference in values, different plans for the future or cheating) that breaks people up.

Tend to agree with Yoda about the inverse correlation with social media boasting and happiness levels.

Yes very happy. Been together for 26 years. When people ask what our secret is, I always say choosing the right person. DP says tolerance.

Yes. I have quite a few friends who are very happily married. All been married for a long time. All met when very young and married in teens or early twenties. Worth saying none have money worries, mortgages are paid off and some have retired early. Some have had bumpy rides over the years but stuck it out (which I didn't).

Yes. He's loving, loyal, reliable. Yes we argue but we always make up. We've been together 13 years or so and have a 3 year old.

His parents have been together around 50 years!

Imo people it nearly always takes one person of the pair to be contributing or compromising more for a marriage to be “happy”, it’s always unequal even if only slightly. I’ve said this on here before and people always refute it but I have yet to see evidence that I am wrong in RL.

My parents seem to despise each other. My Mum sticks her fingers up behind my Dad’s back when he can’t see. They think nothing of having big shouting matches in front of people, I know they’ve hit each other before, I actually had to separate them on the day of their silver wedding anniversary party. Yet if you asked them, they’d insist that they’re the happiest couple and pride themselves on having a “good, strong marriage”. I could type so many examples about couples I know like that.

Yes thanks . I’m not happy every single minute about every single thing, but I imagine most people aren’t, whatever their relationship status.
Overall I’m very happy.

I am happy, and DH certainly says, and acts like he is. Married 14 years now. I agree with what some others have said that people who post lots of gushy stuff on social media tend to be unhappy and likely to split. That has certainly been my experience.

Very happy! DH and I don't have as much time for each other as we'd like, with a 4yo and a 3mo, but we genuinely enjoy each others company as much as we did 10 years ago, and I don't see that changing any time soon. My close friends are all in happy, long term relationships too. I mean, I do know some unhappy couples, but I know just as many happy ones.

18 years together and I know that I am much happier with him than I would be without him. He does though ( as far as I’m aware) feel the same and we appreciate each other.
No relationship is perfect though . We have had some difficult times as well.

Can't stand my husband. He is a manchild. Looking forward to a future without him.

Obviously none of us know for sure our relationship won’t end in separation. How could we?
Dh and I have been happy together nearly 13 years married a bit over 7. Felt like the baby years brought us together rather than pushed us apart which is good.
Often we are tired and stressed by life (work, older parents, childcare etc) so don’t have all the energy and time for each other we’d like but we never ever belittle or put the other down. I love him as much as I could imagine loving another human and he’s as great a human being as exists (we all have faults).

Depends what your definition of happiness. We rub along nicely together. Yes we have problems and issues, yes he drives me nuts sometimes, but.....
What are you expecting?
I'm grateful to have even been married for 17 years!!

I am happy with DH. But to be honest it is easier to be happy when life treats you well. We have good jobs now so dont argue about money, I imagine for couples who have money issues or other stress it is more of a struggle to be happy.