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Relationships

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Original poster

Asking for pics - is this dating norm nowadays?

61 replies

somebodyelsessomeday · 22/12/2017 21:08

I have been single a couple of years now. Really super liked this guy at work. He has now left and we have been in contact and out for few drinks. He is late forties, me early forties. He is very funny, a real character would make everyone laugh in office, straight talking. He keeps asking me to send him pics... I bat it away with jokes and pics of random things in my house. I met someone I liked last year and same thing happened - is this normal now??!!

OP posts:

Runningwithscissors12 · 25/12/2017 19:12

It's normal to ask for nude pics - if the person has no respect for you and likes jerking off to more RL type pics. Rather than porn hub. The man is a tosser. Dump him.

Hellothereitsme · 25/12/2017 19:31

Older men in their 49s/50s are the worse for asking for photos. Seems they spend too much time watching porn and then expect all women of their age to be athletes, clean shaven and happy to send nude photos! Really puts you off OLD.

Original poster

somebodyelsessomeday · 25/12/2017 21:33

I mean why do they do it. I just don't really get it

OP posts:

Runningwithscissors12 · 25/12/2017 21:41

Material to wank over. Control. Power. The usual misogynist paternalistic crap.

BottleBeach · 26/12/2017 10:29

I had a guy ask me to send him a pic of something hot. I sent him one of my hot water bottle.

BottleBeach · 26/12/2017 10:30

To be honest, his patronising comment about you not being ready would put me off even more than a cheeky request for pictures.

Timefortea99 · 26/12/2017 10:35

With the middle aged men I would also assume they are showing them to their friends - in a look what I have on tap way.

userxx · 26/12/2017 11:09

Bottle - that's brilliant!

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 26/12/2017 11:16

It's a shame as I really do like him but it makes me feel cheap when he does this sad

Your first loyalty when dating is to yourself, do not agree to anything you don’t want.

Trust your instincts and if you don’t like the directions things are taking you can just make yourself scarce or if you know him relatively well, explain to him you don’t feel comfortable with it and ask him to stop. If he doesn’t, just stop the communication with him

Rachel85Haw · 26/12/2017 11:29

It does seem to be normal these days and it can be annoying and time-consuming to send photos all the time.
You’ll find that once you send 1 photo - he’ll want more and more.

Also depends on what type of photos he wants too!

If you don’t want to send any type of photo - just say.

If the guy is for real about you - he won’t mind. If he isn’t ——- There are plenty of “ladies” out there on facebook or instagram that’ll oblige him for a fee! ;)

BringOnTheNewYear · 26/12/2017 12:32

I mean why do they do it. I just don't really get it

Wank bank or to show off to mates. No more. No less.

It's not because they care.

In a relationship, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. But the number of men who ask/expect (and yes, it is men in 40s/50s mainly) photos before meeting is ridiculous and I think the women who provide them to a stranger is a fool.

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