Dealing with deeply religious Sister

[RoseJam]

My Dsis likes to think she is religious - attends mass 3 times a week, helps out in the Church, prays etc etc. That's fine - each to their own. However, I get very annoyed when she tries to take the moral high ground and point out the errors of my ways. It's none of her business as I am concerned. She's lost a few friends and work colleagues which I'm sure is down to her sanctimonious comments. My parents are also religious and encourage and endorse her behaviour.

Lately, her comments to me are getting worse. I need a polite but firm way to deal with them and shut these down. I don't want to go NC with her or have a full blown argument but I'm finding it hard! Some of the latest comments are:

1. I should be spending more on Christmas gifts on her family as I earn so much more than they do
2. That I should prioritise the extended family over friends, and that I spend more time and make more effort with my many friends than her family, my Mum and Dad
3. That my DH had committed a grave sin by getting a vasectomy
4. That I should see her family more often
5. That I have put money over my own family because I work full time

I've stepped back a lot over the years as I find them all toxic, and the separation between my mum and dad has been acrimonious, with my Mum constantly wanting us to take sides. However, my Mum and Dsis like to pretend to play 'happy families'.

I'm finding her comments harder to put up with, and based on her incorrect assumptions. Also, I feel less inclined to visit her because I find her comments and behaviour rude and rather judgemental towards me. I've tried not saying much about my life to my parents and her, but conversations are quite stilted.

I agree with Lucked - I’d tell her quite frankly that her crappy judgemental behaviour is precisely the reason for not wanting to spend time with her - and if she kicks off, then suspend contact. This is about control, not religion.

She sounds awful. My mum is a Christian and the least judgemental person you could find.

That’s because for her Christianity is about love and tolerance. After all Jesus was the one to reach out to prostitutes and other heavily judged groups.

So yes, you could point out how unchristian her views are.

Or, if you are not religious, you could tell her that you are free from having to listen to her judgements as God doesn’t actually exist.

I'm really lucky to have some sterling friends, one a childhood friend, whose entire family welcome me as their own. However, this enrages my sister and DM even more.

Of course it does, because it highlights just how unjustified their treatment and judgement of you is. If you really were as shit as they try to make you out to be then your friend's family wouldnt care for you as they do.