Am i wrong to judge DP from his behavior when he plays computer games

[Cottontaill]

Hello. DP is on his thirties. We are together for three years and the relationship has its ups and downs. But his behavior when he plays computer games creeps me out and makes me feel exhausted. He will shout and smash things if he gets upset. He takes a lot of pride on his game "achievements" and he gets upset if i dont praise him enough. It seem so stupid that i have to take a game so seriously. The most disturbing though was something he said recently. He said that he makes friends in the games with people who done something wrong (as far as i see it he perceives wrong where there isnt any) so he can revenge them later.He has a notebook where he writes what they did to him so he can "get back to the feelings they caused him". Apparently he also holds something against me(in game) and he waits the right moment to revenge .He said that this is how he operates in real life too and made an example that if i ever cheat he maybe forgive me and we can move on to have a great life, kids etc but ten or twenty years down the line he will still remember and perhaps one day he will take revenge for what i did to him . I though that it was some sort of joke but he is serious.I mean its a game and in real life i dont plan to cheat but i find all that very disturbing

THE HILLS ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

He's a dangerous nutjob. But he's got the decency to warn you he'll abuse you. Get the fuck out of there.

Get away from this creep as quick as you can

I'm not one who would normally say this on here but, please get the hell away from him. That is not healthy. You can never trust him now in your relationship. It's worrying, truly. For your long term sake and sanity it's time to move on from him.

Q: What would Maya Angelou say?
A: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"
(Stolen from a much older thread)

Run. Like the wind.
Good luck

Another gamer here as is my DP. I do get annoyed and have been known to shout and rant at the screen but me and DP laugh about it and know it's just games at the end of the day!

Your partners behaviour sounds very disturbing. I'd also be tempted to run while you can and encourage him to get help as he needs to get this under control it's not healthy.

Thank you all for the replies. I think that at the moment i am afraid of him, the way he thinks and behaves. To answer your questions,
When i met him he was great, he knew how to say and do all the right things. Soon though i noticed that he was getting overly upset and most of the times i had no idea what caused it. I brushed it off but it became unbearable, having him being fine the one moment and exploding and "need to cool off" a minute later. I left him but he convinced me that i was imagining things and most of my problems with him werent even there but just in my head.
Other people seem to like him , then again he doesnt have many friends. I dont play games, i tried for a while with him because he asked me and he said it would be fun. It was unbearable. He kept reminding me how bad i was at it, blaming me for making him lose, getting tantrums, constantly bragging how good he was and how bad i did everything. I mean i know its only a game but i wouldn't behave like that towards anyone, game or not. Now he blames me for not supporting him enough (if someone does something to him , usual he imagines that they wrong him rather than be reality), for making friends with his enemies(if i say that they didnt actually do anything bad) or that i am jealous if i dont praise him every minute that he brags about his "achievements" Now that i write it down i can see how insane all that sounds
After the whole thing about revenge and his mentality about it i am genuinely scared. I havent seen it yet in real life but thinking about it he has mentioned few stories from his past and made comments that at the time didnt registered in my mind . He is a person that perceives wrong even if there isnt any. I have to leave but i dont know how, the way i feel i wish i could just go back in time and never met him

You don't have to run out of the door, just stay safe right now and start to think about the best way to exit the relationship. Do you have any family or good friends you could go to stay with? (Ideally ones he doesn't have an address for.)

My exh was exactly the same in every respect and he was in his 60's!!!!
He is an ex for a reason...Abuser. emotional and physical.
He scared the living daylights out of me and I thought I was quite a tough cookie!!
I have moved 3 times in 6years to get away from him.
I had to do a leave without him knowing and I begged the GP for valium for 2weeks prior to my leaving.
I got out and it took a lot of planning but I made the mistake of listening to him telling me it was all my fault.
I finally changed my name by deed poll and moved to a totally different town.
There is absolutely nothing better than having your own front door that you can close behind with peace of mind instead of a life of walking on eggshells around some demented moron!!

Ring women's Aid for help on how to get away!

That sounds terrifying. You definitely need to get away from him. I would suggest calling Women’s aid for advice they helped me get out safely and into refuge with my children.

The thing with men like this is you can do everything “right” to make them happy so they don’t get angry with you but the second they perceive you’re in the wrong you’re fucked.

Good luck OP hope 2018 is a great year for you away from this psychotic fuckhead.

I know a guy from school who is very similar to what you've described.

He's recently been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic.

Wow, I will happily admit I'm a gaming addic, it's my way of escaping the real world for a few hours a day!

I get frustrated with games, I think it fairly common but what you have described is just odd!

So he's an abusive bully with anger issues who is gaslighting you in real life too!

And gaslighting you!!???
And putting you down.
And bullying you.
Wow.
Well you know you need to get away.
What is the living situation?
Please call Womens Aid (0808 2000 247) they can help you with a safe exit plan.

Don't do anything fast but fgs don't lose your determination to go.

Ask Women's Aid for advice. Quietly move essential stuff to a genuinely safe place - ideally someone he wouldn't think of.

Life is shit when it's lived in fear. You can get out and you can have a far far better life. IN 5 years' time you can look back and see this as an escape from a nightmare.

It's understandable that you are afraid and you will have lost confidence from living with him.

He will be able to portray a good side, even the worst abusers do and that's why they can keep people in relationships.In addition its hard to actually believe what you are hearing, you start to doubt yourself and he is most certainly gaslighting.
We all believe you and hope that gives you strength to take some action.

Are you together for Christmas or with families? What is the living situation?