Am i wrong to judge DP from his behavior when he plays computer games

[Cottontaill]

Hello. DP is on his thirties. We are together for three years and the relationship has its ups and downs. But his behavior when he plays computer games creeps me out and makes me feel exhausted. He will shout and smash things if he gets upset. He takes a lot of pride on his game "achievements" and he gets upset if i dont praise him enough. It seem so stupid that i have to take a game so seriously. The most disturbing though was something he said recently. He said that he makes friends in the games with people who done something wrong (as far as i see it he perceives wrong where there isnt any) so he can revenge them later.He has a notebook where he writes what they did to him so he can "get back to the feelings they caused him". Apparently he also holds something against me(in game) and he waits the right moment to revenge .He said that this is how he operates in real life too and made an example that if i ever cheat he maybe forgive me and we can move on to have a great life, kids etc but ten or twenty years down the line he will still remember and perhaps one day he will take revenge for what i did to him . I though that it was some sort of joke but he is serious.I mean its a game and in real life i dont plan to cheat but i find all that very disturbing

His behaviour is not normal. I think revenging someone in a game in a meaningless light impulsive way is ok but exacting revenge lists and scheming is weird.

Another one saying the same.

I know it won't be just as easy as that though. Are there other warning signs or things that he does that are weird or controlling? Has he ever hurt someone yo get revenge before in real life?

If you do take the advice everyone is giving I'd really urge you to be be very careful and make an instant and absolute break. Leaving him will give him justification to take revenge.

You have to get out in my book. He sounds dangerous.

This is definitely not normal gaming behaviour, he sounds extremely aggressive and potentially dangerous

Nothing turns me off more than grown men who play video games
When I met my partner and he told me he's never even owned a console thing I knew he was the one 😉

He sounds like a complete weirdo
I would walk away tbh
Well actually I'd run....

My DS 17 is a gamer and it is the only time I ever here him swear! But that is as far as it goes.

What a massive weirdo!

What are you doing with him?!

If he threatens you with this psycho revenge-type behaviour, imagine how he'd treat your children

He's destined to have his own reconstruction on Crime Watch.

I take it you don't have kids? Good! Get a chastity belt and plan your escape like Julia Roberts in Sleeping with the Enemy. Don't tell him where you've gone.

Dh plays computer games, it's mildly frustrating when it removes him from family life eg: won't parent because he's stayed up too late/ got his headphones on. He used to shout and swear a bit pre children but wouldn't dream of it now. Although this isn't ideal, what you describe is not acceptable.

Your partner is insane. Normal to get angry when you lose but the revenge notebook stuff is scary and far from normal. He's threatened you with the revenge book but you're still there?!

Sounds like a psycho!

Normal to go through emotions with games. I can get angry, frustrated and occasionally throw the odd item

But it sounds like your DP takes it to another level. The revenge thing would be a major red flag to me. Creepy!!!!

Fuck me, he’s got a few problems hasn’t he.
I’d leave him to them.

Yeah I am a gamer. I like games. I can get mildly vexed if something doesnt go right but I dont shout at the screen and dont take any game achievements into the real world. That is just fucking creepy and I would leave from that. His self worth is now entirely based on the games he plays which is all kinds of wrong.

As for the revenge thing. I can kind of understand and have been known to take a shot or two at other players when circumstances allowed but I would never right it down, never plan a revenge and, again, dont bring that behaviour into the real world.

Leave him now. He will never let you be happy.

Run a mile, sounds very disturbing indeed. Don't marry or have children with this guy whatever you do!

Have you packed yet? Please do.

^^ This.

Also, depending on what type of person he is and technical skills he has, he may be monitoring your internet activity. Hopefully you're posting this from your phone. I don't mean to scare you but I'm just being real. Hopefully he doesn't know about you posting here.

Make your escape plan now, OP.

Woah that's weird!

I'm a gamer so is dp, a few shouty moment can be heard if we're online and teams losing or something silly like that.

But it seems so sinister to write names and plot revenge 😯 I'd run a mile!

Just from reading the thread title I thought it might not be too bad but seriously, run like the wind. That's so far from normal gaming or behaviour it's moving into psycho territory.

Run for the hills, he sounds a psycho.
I wouldn’t give any time to someone who feels constantly slighted or harbours revenge feelings against me (virtual or real life)!

Let us know you’re ok, op, and that the psycho hasn’t found this thread on your phone or something. Truly, he sounds sinister. I agree with DownTownAbbey, make your escape now while you can. And yes, be like Julia Roberts except make sure you don’t leave a trace—do not throw your ring down the toilet. He is basically telling you he’s psycho. Whoa.

He actually sounds like my brother who lives his life on his computer.

He's a bit creepy too.

What ever you do don't have kids with him.

The gaming is not the problem here, his attitude his. His reactions to 'being wronged' are smashing up things and plotting revenge, really why stay with someone like that.

Another person posting as a gamer.
Run.
It's not normal behaviour. Yes, we sometimes shout at the screen. Curse. Cheer when we have finished a difficult part.

But we don't break things in the real world (in the games I have destroyed creations I have made). We don't keep little revenge note books. We know that it's just a game at the end of the day and if someone annoys us online we can delete them, block or depending on the game opt out of online play for a bit.

He's showing you know this is what he's like. Although he has used an affair as an example, I doubt it will stop at that.
Made a cuppa the wrong way. Not tonight darling I have an headache. Didn't bring him the right chocolate from the shop. Didn't shower enough gifts on him... The list is endless of what sleights you could do for his revenge in years to come. You really want to walk on eggshells because that's what this will involve.