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Original poster

Tasteful Christmas Gift for my wife

49 replies

Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:19

I'm looking for ideas for a sexy but tasteful Christmas gift for my wife to make her feel like a goddess again.

She's been feeling insecure and I want to buy her something that will restore some of her self belief and also show that I still truly desire her

Any advice, suggestions, help etc greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Cloudyapples · 17/12/2017 20:21

Can you be more specific about t what she is insecure about? Just so we can have a better idea of what is appropriate and also sensitive to her feelings.

Littlefish · 17/12/2017 20:23

Do NOT buy her any underwear!

MrsBertBibby · 17/12/2017 20:24

Buy her jewellery. Getting her "sexy" lingerie is a present for yourself, not for her.

Soozikinzii · 17/12/2017 20:25

Jewellery ? Engraved?

Cloudyapples · 17/12/2017 20:25

Also instead of the obvious - lingerie etc which might actually make her feel more self conscious- how about a creative way of showing her how you feel eg a jar filled with pieces of paper and on each one you’ve written something about her which you admire/respect/love/are attracted to or a series of letters with titles on the envelope like ‘when you feel xxx’ so when she feels down she can open them/the jar and lift her spirits?

mindutopia · 17/12/2017 20:27

Personally, I would not go for a 'sexy' gift in this situation. My husband tried to get me a 'sexy' gift for my birthday (it wasn't even anything crazy, but obviously the intention was to spice things up and make me feel sexy again) after we had our daughter. It was NOT what I would have wanted anyway and didn't make me feel at all sexy (actually, it made me feel like crap because it was like someone pointing out that I'd become a bit frumpy lately and didn't do anything but care for a baby). What most women want and need is time and opportunity for self-care. What about some nice bath things (bath salts, body scrub, etc.) and a spa day so she can take a day and go relax and not have to think about anything at home? You do all the household chores, have the house clean and tidy for her when she gets home, cook her a nice dinner and sit down just the two of you that night? My husband does this now pretty much every year (he learned after the incident above!) and it's lovely. Sometimes the best thing you can give is just time off and time to focus on herself. Or if you genuinely want to get her something 'sexy' talk to her about it first, let her help you pick it and then surprise her. It's much nicer when you get someone involved in helping to choose something like that. One person's cup of tea is definitely not another's.

LyannaStarktheWolfMaid · 17/12/2017 20:29

I agree with the above posters, do not go for a sexy gift. Give her some time out - spa day, massage etc.

Thedietstartsnow · 17/12/2017 20:29

Mindutopia, now I just need to show yr post to my dh ,how I would love a spa day,and to come home to a clean house ,utter bliss

Original poster
Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:30

We came back from holiday about five weeks ago, and we've had no intimacy since. I don't know why. She feels like I love her to bits but like I don't want her. I really do but other than just showing her physically I'd like to buy her something special which shows I think of her as my lover as well as my wife.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 17/12/2017 20:31

Get her something that brings out who she is. She will shine when she’s reminded of how wonderful she is and what makes her individual.

DO NOT go for sexy 🙄

Thedietstartsnow · 17/12/2017 20:32

A meal cooked with candles ,after a long soak in the bath,favourite alcohol and dessert ,and a beautiful piece of inscribed jewelry ..

Cloudyapples · 17/12/2017 20:32

Couples spa day?

Original poster
Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:33

Underwear was never an option haha Was thinking of a night in a nice boutique hotel, romantic dinner, undivided attention away from TV and social media

OP posts:
Original poster
Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:34

I actually done this a couple of years ago :-)

OP posts:
Lweji · 17/12/2017 20:34

She feels like I love her to bits but like I don't want her.

What happened on the holiday?

You can't fix relationships with gifts.

The best thing you can give her is yourself and your full attention.
Are you concerned for her or for the lack of sex?

Shockers · 17/12/2017 20:34

Would she appreciate a beautifully soft robe? Not a thick one, something in soft organic cotton, or silk, so that she feels lovely in it.

That and an artisan ring with her favourite colour stone, so it’s very personal.

I’d love that, but realise your wife might not. What sort of jewellery does she look at and like?

Whisky2014 · 17/12/2017 20:34

A painting.

Original poster
Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:37

Nothing happened on holiday, we had a great week away. I'm not concerned about the lack of sex Lweji, I'm concerned that my wife feels like I'm not attracted to her because of the lack of sex

OP posts:
Snowman41 · 17/12/2017 20:37

You want to buy her a gift to make her shag you Hmm

Cloudyapples · 17/12/2017 20:37

Centre parcs do amazing spa breaks in spa suite rooms at a couple of locations and they feel soooo luxurious

AdaColeman · 17/12/2017 20:38

Diamonds are a girl's best friend!

NapQueen · 17/12/2017 20:38

What is her lifestyle like? Is she manic busy? If so and she likes this sort of thing what about a day at a spa for some proper rest and relaxation?

Or is she quite often alone and misses socialising? If so what about tickets to a show or stand up comedy?

Do you and her have any joint hobbies? Some sort of trip out together?

Tbh what gets me in the mood is dh choosing to put fresh bedsheets on the bed because that never fucking happens.

Shockers · 17/12/2017 20:38

If it’s one night away, she might feel pressured. A spa hotel could take that pressure away.

Or if she enjoys the countryside, somewhere where you can spend the day walking and talking, then back for a lovely bath, glass of good wine and dinner...

Original poster
Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:39

I done the jar thing a few years ago CloudyApples, lots of heart shaped love notes and posh chocolates for when I was away on business to reassure her

OP posts:
NapQueen · 17/12/2017 20:39

Reassure her of what?