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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Tasteful Christmas Gift for my wife

49 replies

Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:19

I'm looking for ideas for a sexy but tasteful Christmas gift for my wife to make her feel like a goddess again.

She's been feeling insecure and I want to buy her something that will restore some of her self belief and also show that I still truly desire her

Any advice, suggestions, help etc greatly appreciated

OP posts:

Lweji · 17/12/2017 20:40

I'm concerned that my wife feels like I'm not attracted to her because of the lack of sex

What do you mean?
You haven't wanted sex but worry she'll think you're not attracted?
Or has she said she feels worried?

No gift will tell her you feel attracted.
Are you watching too much TV and been on social media?
What was it like before the holiday?

BootsAndCatsAndBootsAndCats · 17/12/2017 20:41

Do not buy her anything "sexy".

Get her something meaningful - something that demonstrates to her that you know and care about her and what she likes.

Don't buy people presents to try to get them to have sex with you.

Lweji · 17/12/2017 20:41

Have you cheated on her?

Original poster

Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:42

Not at all snowman, I'm trying to make my wife feel special, it's not at all about physical sex, it's about restoring her confidence

OP posts:

BootsAndCatsAndBootsAndCats · 17/12/2017 20:42

What has happened to her confidence since your holiday?

Cloudyapples · 17/12/2017 20:42

Is the lack of intimacy on her part or yours? Ie have you tried to initiate anything?

NapQueen · 17/12/2017 20:43

So if she has said she is feeling insecure have you had a chat with her about why and what is making her feel that way?

Lweji · 17/12/2017 20:43

Why restoring? Why isn't she feeling confident? Specifically, it looks like she doesn't trust you or feels neglected by you.

Original poster

Alxltuk · 17/12/2017 20:45

Lweji, we're probably both guilty of watching too much TV to be fair. Absolutely never cheated

OP posts:

Jins · 17/12/2017 20:46

If DH got me a spa day I'd sell it on eBay.

Lweji · 17/12/2017 20:47

The present is a red herring.

There are many questions you haven't answered.

Just buy anything she likes.

But address this issue in your relationship. What is going on?

gg1234 · 17/12/2017 20:48

Go out with your wifey to any activity that gets you both together .May be bowling or a dinner with dance party together .I think what your spouse needs is your time and reassurance rather expensive gifts ... ( I went out with my partner for trampoline fun and it was great :)

pomegranita · 17/12/2017 20:48

Honestly, diamonds. You did ask!
I’m not even particularly into that kind of jewellery, but was blown away to receive an eternity ring last Xmas, completely out of the blue. Very touched and made me feel incredibly special.

BusterGonad · 17/12/2017 20:49

I would feel loved if my husband bought me presents he knew I wanted, at the moment I'm obsessed with a certain make up brand and if I woke up on Christmas Day to find a present from that brand I'd feel like he actually listened to me and took on board what I said I liked. It's no good asking us, you need to listen and read between the lines of what she's likes and most importantly needs from you!

WantingMuchMore · 17/12/2017 20:50

I like the robe and the artisan ring idea... that would appeal to me, but...no amount of stuff will bring back her confidence in you. Working out why and adressing the cause would be far more helpful. If youre suffering ED or low mood - go see your GP. PROVE to her you're committed to getting past this

allinclusive · 17/12/2017 20:52

A personal shopping session,or some lessons to learn a new skill?

Movablefeast · 17/12/2017 20:56

Fabulous jewelry. My husband buys me beautiful rings from Tiffanys that he picks out himself. They are usually fashion/costume jewelry without precious stones so they don't break the bank but I have loved every one he has bought me. Right now I am wearng a gold ring with an aquamarine stone he bought me. Love it and wear it instead of a wedding ring.

mylittlepony6 · 17/12/2017 21:02

I think a night away just the two of you is a fab idea. I have bought this for my DH for the last ten years. You can get ones where you get dinner, bed and breakfast for as little as £70..........we both look forward to it. Good luck OP

mylittlepony6 · 17/12/2017 21:03

Oh......and my DH once bought me a beautiful french jewellery box. I absolutely love everything about France, I love it!

Joysmum · 17/12/2017 21:21

No point in us telling you what we like. My best ever gifts were a shed and a wheelbarrow 😂

What sorry if a person is your wife? What does she have interests in? What makes her tick and is special to her?

Joysmum · 17/12/2017 21:22

*what sort of a person is your wife

ConcreteUnderpants · 17/12/2017 22:37

Perhaps you could do things to make her feel confident and wanted on other days, apart from Dec 25th?

Silverthorn · 17/12/2017 22:46

Get her a Santa Cruz Juliana. She'll love you for it.

LadyLapsang · 17/12/2017 23:07

You keep mentioning she is insecure and lacks confidence. What do you think is the cause?

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