Hating MIL for no good reason...am I crazy?

[Microwaved111]

I need a good shaking or something to snap out of this because there is really no need. I can't seem to control myself and im ashamed and embarrassed by it.

I have an uncontrollable hate for MIL. I really can't stand her.

She hasn't really done anything to me, she's always really nice to me. I just really get filled with rage whenever I'm around her or any of dps family really.

None of them have done anything to me - except for dps gran but that's a whole other thing and I just avoid her now.

Why am I like this?????? It's really immature and I honestly do try my best to be civil bit she just drives me nuts. I am the type of person who find it quite hard to hide my feelings, so if I am happy, sad, upset, angry it will show on my face no matter what.

How can I improve this? I have no relationship with them. I actually think she may be a bit scared of me she doesn't really talk to me probably because of the vibes I'm giving off. How can I change my persona to be more open?

How can I try to make it a better relationship? I really want this mainly for my dd and dp. Also they are the only family close by so I would love to have a good relationship with them!

I must not be the only person like this? Am I awful?

Maybe I'm too focused on trying really hard to make a relationship with her? I don't have any support where we live so I wanted to have MIL to be here for support and help but it hasn't turned out that way and maybe I am sad that this has happened.

But I can't force her to see me as a member of the family or want to know me a person in my own right rather than being forced too because I'm the mother of her grandchild.

Maybe I just won't bother to make the effort and forget about it it's rubbish really

Sounds like she was terrible after the baby was born and I can understand how that resentment continued.

You say that you think she knows you don't like her so it is a bit of a vicious circle that she doesn't talk to you - possibly because she knows you hate her - and you hate her because she doesn't talk to you.

Is there a way of breaking that vicious circle? Have you ever asked her why she doesn't talk to you? I am terrible at confrontation but would ask why she didn't ask you about weaning and make it clear that these things are more your area of expertise than dhs. Perhaps you could clear the air and say it's hurtful that she ignores you?

If it turns out that she's just a dismissive old boot then I agree with making different weekend plans and start saying no. There's no way you should be made to feel invisible in your own home.

I've felt the exact same for years, it turned out I was suffering PND and then depression and basically... she (she's a lovely women and never done anything to upset or anger me) was my main trigger 😏 I'm finally starting to evaporate that hatred now I'm getting the help I need. I'm not saying it's the same for you, that's just what it was with me xx

My mil doenst acknowledge my existence either. I gave up trying to jump to her every demand as it became continual and she l was never happy regardless of what I did. She always found a way to play victim and i was the bad guy. In the end it has only pushed her and her son apart as he saw through her games eventually and hated how they all treated me.
You can only try so hard when getting rebuffed before it makes you emotionally unwell.
It really is a sad situation for everyone

It's okay I hate DH's auntie & he know I do lol. She's so annoying, she's never spoke to me... 6 year down the line still hardlies speaks one word. Can't be arsed with the twat. She started trying to talk to me when I had a child... ner fuck off love! She hangs around all the family members who have kids.. she's obsessed. Probably feels guilty coz she didn't even bring her own kid up!

Have you thought about calling in for a cuppa just you and her? Let her know how you felt when DD was born, and how the fact they don't really seem to have any interest in you.

Talking is a great place to start.

What is it about MILs when babies are born? They become so overbearing that you do end up resenting them even when they're lovely people and don't mean any harm.

Microwaved111 - I went from being reasonably fond of my MIL to hating her after she imposed following the birth of my DD. I threw her out at the time and I now refuse all contact with her - just can't get over it - our relationship is ruined and it's very upsetting for my DP. No answers for you I am afraid but you are not alone.

Wow, not a lot of forgiveness there Bondage I hope you never put a foot wrong