Does anyone else fanaticise about partner leaving?

[Blearyandweary]

I go through phases when I am just fed up of doing so much more than DH and day dream about how much easier life would be if I was single.

We have 2 DCs and have been together a long time, I'm not going to leave but I can't help but quietly wonder if I wouldn't be happier on my own.

My house would be decorated to my tastes, I could spend money as I wished. I am not sure how much extra work it would be as I seem to carry lions share of it anyway.

Anyone else get this?

Yes. But then other days I think i cant trust my own mind and don’t realise what I have. Im happy about three days a week. Any tiredness or anything at all goes wrong and a surge of “what the fuck am I doing wasting my life” rises up in me that feels rageful illogical and animal- but over time it seems to be becoming cumulative. I have mad crushes on other people that arent grounded in reality and sometimes I cry before work but it feels like self pity and guilt. The day i can articulate why i am so unhappy in a way that makes any sense, is the day my power will return. At the moment though, im with a good loving man that housework and stimulation aside I dont know why I dont want to be with.

No, never. I would have so much more to do without OH and would hate to shoulder it all on my own.

All the time. So much.

I also used to fantasise about exh dying in a car accident, not that I wished him dead as such, more that my life would be easier without him in it. And in many ways after he left, it was.

Oh, many many times. We once couldn't find him for ages in our very large house. I had a hope that he had a heart attack and was in a corner of his office which was in a different building nearby.
I was so disappointed when he walked in.
We are no longer together btw.

I also used to fantasise about exH being killed in some tragic 'hit by a bus' kind of way.

When I left, he didn't see DD for nearly three months, and it was still far less work and far less expensive than living with him. I didn't know what to do with all my spare time! I knew exactly what to do with the money

I did this for about a year before I actually left him. Now I'm living the fantasy lol

Somewtimes makes me wonder why you got together in the first place then?..

I looked at my husband and wondered what on Earth he brought to my life? I did everything, earned 8 x what he did, did all the thinking and protected the DC from his drug use.

Immeasurably better once I shed him. Even though he never ever has the kids for more than a few hours, still takes drugs and is a huge waste of space ...

Justaboy - i know really my issues with DP are because I've changed a lot in 7 years and he hasn't changed a bit, which he likes to try and remind me to make this all my fault. But we got together when I was 20, j lived in a dump that I threw parties in every weekend and lived paycheck to paycheck. We have a child now, but he still does bugger all around the house, doesn't do much with DD but likes to put on a big show when he does, still wastes £200 a month on weed and acts like a child.

I used to fantasise about him hitting me or having an affair or dying in a car crash (always gave felt bad about the last one) to take the decision out of my hands.

Mumsnet told me that I didn't need his permission to leave.

Best decision ever.

And the joy of being able to decorate without having to negotiate! Being able to paint a room on a whim without it being the end of the world if I change my mind 2 months later! Bliss!

I would redecorate bed room, declutter house, go on holiday and enjoy the loo seat remaining down.

Whenever he's late home I hope wonder about fatal accidents.

Nearly plucked up enough courage now...

JustAn well you are braver than me. Suspect I have a few years left in limbo land yet.

I do. A lot!

Yes :(

I used to daydream of living alone in my own flat.

I did for a year after splitting up with my husband. It was lonely at times but very freeing.

I was 2 weeks short of a year when dp moved in. 9 months later I had dd.

Sometimes I do miss living alone but then when dp is working and dd is in bed I am very bored again so I like them there.

I used to fantasise about the Police coming to the door with solemn faces and saying, "Mrs Seeing? We're so sorry, but there's been a terrible accident ..."

Divorce is a wonderful thing!

Oh op all the time!!! I would actually leave in a heart beat if I was financially secure. I keep imagining to the point I can actually feel the keys of MY house as I walk to open the door. I dream about the kitchen ware I would have / the coffee maker / snuggling up in a blanket by my self in a clean house drinking wine and watching documentaries / I imagine myself as a confident woman having coherent conversations again...I pray for that day! I really hope I win the lottery...I wouldn't even pack my stuff! Sending you all love..we are all fighting our battles...x

just. I think the problem is when you first get together you're in love and life is great. As the years pass you grow, mature, face shit and get though it and nature some more. One day you look at the person on the couch next to you and realise they are exactly the same. And when that same is a teenage like persona that doesn't have any friends, no hobbies or interests apart from their job, has not experienced self growth or want to be a better version of themselves. Well, it's rather disappointing to say the least.

Mine works away and we are content and relaxed when he's not here. I do it all except earn money for the moment. I'm a bit scared that I'll get a job and decide that's enough.

If mine left, I’d be looking forward to one thing above all:

Everyone would be shocked and appalled at his selfishness (they only see the charming, church-going side) and I would be awarded full moral-high ground (while I made up for 10 lonely sex-free years with a mammoth shagathon.)

Hmmmm turns out I must have thought this through in some detail...

With my ex most definitely - but more the hit by the bus variety rather than the having to deal with the break up. As it happens we've dealt with the break up and it's been bloody awful at times, but mostly things are OK.

8 years on with my now lovely DH and I don't have these thoughts at all.

Well I think mine has just made the decision for me. Barely spoke the last two days and today after a disagreement he's packed a bag and left.

Reading all of these it's nice to know I'm normal and maybe not so evil after all 👹😜