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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm being ghosted after 2 months!

28 replies

ghostery · 09/12/2017 20:25

I've been seeing a man for two months. We've spoken every day at least once, but I haven't heard from him now since Thursday evening!

For context we've been on countless dates, stayed at each other's houses regularly etc. Yes we've slept together.

I just need somewhere to vent because I'm so annoyed! I DO NOT want to message him again!

OP posts:
JellyBean31 · 10/12/2017 18:29

It seems to me lately that a lot of men are too cowardly to have the "break up" conversation do they just display shitty behaviour so that the woman gets fed up & ends it.

Rainbowglow · 10/12/2017 18:36

Keep yourself busy. A few days is not that long without contact but you clearly like him and I agree it just takes 2 secs to say hi really busy this weekend will message soon. Hopefully it will work out but if not at least it is just 2 months in and not 12 months.

Hissy · 11/12/2017 16:20

I think after two months you've progressed past just leaving things.

You have. He was rude, and you deserved better than this.

HOWEVER - you have learned a valuable lesson to not just judge on what a person says, it's about what they DO and how they are LONG TERM not in weeks.

I know you want to think that this was a serious relationship, and at 2m in, you can hope for it, but you'd be wrong to believe it actually is.

2 months is 8 weeks, as someone else pointed out, even if you saw each other every other day it's a couple of dozen 'dates'.

Getting to know someone is not a numbers game, it's not about the number of hours you spend with someone, it's about the quality of the time, seeing them in different scenarios, how they react to this and that, what they think of such and such, allowing time to be as one and as individuals, seeing them in different lilghts and trusting them enough to see you as you are too.

Anyone can be perfect for a few months, very few can be right for the long term. There is much warning about Future Faking, where the person you're dating is projecting your relationship as more than it possibly can be, given the longevity, but we too can future fake ourselves if we are not careful and allow ourselves to get swept up on the emotions/hormones etc.

Online dating has a lot to answer for, the candy store mentality, the pick up and drop etc, it's not a decent way to treat others.

When I was online dating I quickly learned not to take anything seriously until it was. Sure I could see potential, but it means nothing.

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