I'm being ghosted after 2 months!

[ghostery]

I've been seeing a man for two months. We've spoken every day at least once, but I haven't heard from him now since Thursday evening!

For context we've been on countless dates, stayed at each other's houses regularly etc. Yes we've slept together.

I just need somewhere to vent because I'm so annoyed! I DO NOT want to message him again!

Op that's horrible. I've been dating somebody for two months now and would be really upset if he did this to me. The only thing you can do is sit back and wait or block him all together. How was the relationship going?

So sorry to hear this

Having been through the online dating mill myself, I've been there and it is just crap...

Is there any background or context to this? (Is he recently separated etc.)
Has he been a bit vague/were there any red flags thinking retrospectively?

His behaviour is incredibly rude and thoughtless.
It's cold comfort but at least he is showing you who he is now rather than time wasting you for 6 months or so...

ps. HOLD STRONG! DO NOT TEXT HIM

Also even if he comes back with some lame excuse (which he may or may not) I would not waste any more time on him.

This should be the honeymoon stage where he is surprising and delighting you.
Instead he is treating you carelessly and hurting your feelings (and be under no illusions he knows he is hurting your feelings)

That’s really shit OP I’m sorry. This happened to me recently, it’s a cowards way out unless something has happened to him. Could he be playing games? Testing you?

And don’t text him

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Two months isn't long, granted, but there's all that promise of potential and getting closer day by day. His silence, I imagine, leaves you feeling powerless and really dismayed.

Why can't you just ring him and ask if everything is ok?
Might he have lost his phone or there be some other explanation?

Sweetheart, it’s 8 weeks.. that’s not countless dates territory

I sadly think he wasn’t as focused on building a relationship with you as you were with him.

Yeah it’s crap, yes he’s a bollocks but it’s fast and furious and now blown up.

Take things slowly, allow yourself time to see a person for who he really is and take it a day at a time.

I wouldn’t even consider thinking in serious terms under 3m.

I’m sorry ((((huge hug)))))

You deserved better

8 weeks is countless dates, as in I've stopped counting! He's been online so looks like I'm just being ignored.

Don't call. Don't text. Let it go

Was gonna say maybe something had happened to him but if he's been online then obviously not.

It's just so rude. It's depressing that people think it's an acceptable exit strategy these days.

Awful.. shows what he's like. You are well rid

"countless dates"

Even if you've been seeing each other every day, at 2 months it's a maximum of 60.

If you're messaging via Skype it's worth noting that the recent update basically broke the app on mobile and you have to properly load the app and wait before you can see new messages.

Have I understood this correctly?
A man you are not married to, engaged to, or live with has not contacted you in two days. Is this accurate?

Someone ghosted me back in September ,

We were seeing each other for about 6 weeks and he used to text me all the time and then BOOM he disappeared .

I was flummoxed . I left it after a day because I refused to look like a twat bugging him .

He reappeared on my Snapchat this week so I messaged him (kindly) and asked him why he disappeared . He said he got back with his ex and that he was a dick and should have spoken to me about it.

I wished him the best of luck with her, and he came back with ' it already hasn't worked out , I'm such an idiot."

And that , ladies and gentleman, is what I call karma ☺️😏

It's whatsapp so I know he has been online and no issues.

Still think to go from contact every day to nothing is ghosting. No matter if we've seen each other every day, it's still a considerable time and effort investment and I think two months is long enough to get feelings for someone otherwise what's the point?!

If he's just changed his mind that's fine but it takes 2 mins to text someone and tell them - I have done this before - it's shit but at least they're not left in limbo.

I would much rather be told 'sorry, I don't see it working out - all the best' than to be left hanging with no contact.

So sorry OP. What a dick thing to do. He doesn’t deserve you.

I hope you feel better soon and I'm sorry you are feeling a bit crappy.

I understand how after 2 months and lots of meetings you could start to see potential.

That being said if for him this was just a casual thing he may not have seen the need to text /call to explain. I mean what would he say I'm just texting to say I won't be texting anymore.

I recently text someone I wasn't feeling it with. It had only been a few weeks but we had another date planned so I just dropped him a quick text to say this wasnt going to work for me. Tbh I don't think it helped because he still messaged me a few times saying he definitely thought there was a connection to build on (there wasn't for me).
Had you had the 'let's not see other people while we're working out if this is going anywhere' chat? If not I'm not sure an explanation is necessary. The fact that he hasn't contacted you for 2 days wouldn't be a big deal for me, not at this stage. But if you are used to talking every day then it's kind of telling you what you need to know and there for you're not really being left in limbo.
Putting this down to just different wants and chalking it up to experience will soon make you realise it's no great loss. It's really important to take these things slowly, make sure you're both on the same page prior to becoming over invested.

I totally disagree with that, I think if you've been seeing someone for a few months then a thanks but no thanks text should be sent. It's the decent thing to do. If you can swap bodily fluids with someone surely you can take 2 seconds out of your day to send a quick text.

I wasn't under the impression he thought it was casual - have seen a lot of each other, dates once a week, cooking at home the other days, met his friends etc. I think after two months you've progressed past just leaving things.

Ghostery I completely agree. Sadly it seems all too common these days. Spineless twat!!

Block and move on.

It's just cowardly and rude behaviour when you've built up that level of being in each other's lives irrespective of how long you've been seeing him.

It does seem (anecdotally from MN threads) that getting wrapped up in someone too quickly tends to lead to ghosting. At least he's shown you who he is. I wonder if in some warped way these ghosters think they're leaving the door open so when he pops up in a few months' time he thinks you'll just pick up where you left off. (Sadly I think there are a lot of women who do welcome them back with open arms).

I've been seeing someone for six or seven weeks - seeing him once a week. We're just getting to the point of having the exclusive / coming off dating sites chat after which I'm expecting we'll spend a bit more time together but I'm going to keep it measured. I've really enjoyed the slow reveal of getting to know him and peeling back the layers. We communicate daily and I'd be hurt if he just vanished without a word even after such restrained contact.

Sorry op i was ghosted after seeing someone 4 months plus months of friendship before that. Not an online dater either. It is really harsh and i am finding it much harder to get over than a normal breakup. It is nothing you did. The failure is his completely and shows what a coward he is. Good luck you deserve better x