To the people that have cheated on current/past partners...

[LauraBoo1]

May i ask you reasoning? I am in no position to judge any of you i am just curious.

Thanks in advance x

I have a slightly controversial view on monogamy generally, but anyway in my view, “cheating” isn’t anything to do with the partner who is being cheated on. Infidelity is about swing in someone else a different reflection of the self. The third party allows the person to feel something other than their usual self, perhaps a facet of themselves they’ve never explored, or is a reminder from the past.

I think it’s dreadfully sad when the betrayed party questions themselves repeatedly about what they could and should have done - it’s pointless, the infidelity wasn’t about them usually.

I think it is about being selfish and greedy and it fueling your ego to give you something that you need

I find it hard to believe that you have an affair if there is nothing wrong with your relationship, there has to be something that the affair provides that you need or there is something lacking in your own menatality that thinks it’s acceptable to cheat

I don't think cheating is about "reasoning" is it?

Maybe it is to the cheater? Maybe in their heads they can formulate an acceptable rationale for their behaviour that they think makes their actions justified

My ex was emotionally and financially abusive. I felt trapped and was severely depressed but couldn't admit it to myself. I felt like I couldn't speak to my (very supportive) family because they all knew I had made a mistake in marrying him. They would have been amazing about it but I couldn't face admitting it was real. Someone started paying me some attention and I fell for it. It went on for a few weeks and he turned out to be horrible and not much better then my ex. I feel sick and hate myself thinking about it now, the only good thing to come out of it was that it gave me the confidence almost immediately to leave and tell my family what was happening. I'm still ashamed though and I wish I could take it back and just found the courage to leave on my own. I feel physically sick just writing this.

I was constantly being accused of it and being made to feel like crap when I went out so I thought if I’m going to get the crap for it I might as well do it. Not proud of it and I definitely should have just left him but that was why.

Because I was about 18 and really fancied the guy. Obviously was really immature. I told the bf at the time, we broke up and i went out with the other guy and he shat all over me. Karma?

When I was 21 I didnt want to be with my bf at the time but loved his family and found it very hard to break up with him. Mentally checked out, got some attention from someone else and lapped it up. Broke up with the bf.

Wasn't the right thing to do in either case, no defence for it, it is what it is. Young and stupid maybe.