Split up with ex 2014, he is happily off with OW, I'm living in house with big kids until next year,
Next weekend is ds's 18th birthday party (birthday on Weds, party Sat). The last event I'll be hosting for ex's extended family (mine all live abroad). I thought we had it all sorted out. Agreed on the phone that he'd take his family out for tea Sat. afternoon, then I'd have them for evening meal. Nine of them coming down for the weekend, plus us four.
Came out yesterday that he's forgotten all this and expected me to have his family round for tea too. So I'd have them from 4 to 11 p.m., bake/buy cakes for them, then make dinner for 13 in the kitchen while they all sat in the living room for 7 hours.
When I say he was supposed to be doing tea elsewhere he gets angry because, he says, he can't afford to take out all his family for tea. (His flat is tiny, too small.) He's adamant that we agreed things the way he remembers, though the kids see it like me too. Once again I regret not having agreed on something in writing so I can prove it later. He acts as if I'm being the difficult one here and cannot see/admit that he might be hard work. Does not see that him complaining about paying for his family's tea makes him a CF of the highest order considering how I am putting myself out and also paying for his family (dinner on Sat and half of another expensive event on Sun).
Now agreed on a compromise that he buys cake himself, but his family will still be here all bloody afternoon and evening, 13 people in one not especially large living room. His dad is an insufferable bighead and will laugh at "us" for being so poorly organised. Like he did our entire marriage.
Any suggestions for what I can say to my FIL when he starts chuckling patronisingly about how "we" didn't organise this well?