OK sorry this is going to be a rant!!
So yesterday, DH wanted to get his prescription from Boots, as I was going up to get something I needed from there. (He picked it up from the docs on Thursday but couldn't be arsed to get it right then!)
So I am almost ready to go out (at 4.15pm - less than an hour before they shut,) and DH comes into the kitchen ranting 'where's my fucking prescription?' with a face like this... >>> I told him I don't know where it is, and he was the last to have it. (He was looking at it the night before.)
'Well I know where I left it!' he ranted; in my drawer in the dining room!' 'Well is it there now?' I asked. 'No obviously not! And I know it was there last night!' 'Well you must have moved it.' I said. 'Why the fuck would I MOVE it?' he rants. 'I know I left it there and it ain't there now.'
So this conversation went round in circles with him basically blaming me for moving it, without actually saying as much.
I am, to the nth degree fucked right OFF with him fucking blaming me when he cannot find something. He moves his stuff, forgets he has moved it, and rants at me with this 'I know I haven't moved it!' stance. I say 'so you think I have moved it?' 'Didn't say that did I?' he says glaring at me. 'If you feel guilty that's YOUR lookout.' Errrrmm, no I DON'T feel guilty but I am royally fucked off with being blamed for stuff I haven't done!!!
Same when something stops working/breaks down. 'Well YOU used it last!' he says. (Even when it wasn't me who used it last!) No matter what, he will find any way humanly possible to shift the blame onto me, and I am sick of it. He will NEVER take the blame or admit he is wrong about anything.
I lived with my passive-aggressive mother til I was 21, and SHE used to lose stuff and break stuff and blame me for it, even when I had been nowhere near said item. If she found a lost item, and it was obvious I had not had it/moved it, she would STILL insist I must have had it all along! It made me so paranoid and stressy, and now my fucking husband does the same. Do I have a 'blame me for any shit that goes wrong or missing' badge on my head or something?
Sorry for the long rant. I am just soooo angry.
Oh yeah, by the way, DH found his prescription in his briefcase, (a place I could not have put it as I don't have the combination PIN for it!) So all he said when he found it this morning was 'well I'm sure I never put it in there.' (He did!) No apology, because as he says, he never actually BLAMED me for moving it, he just said HE didn't move it, when only the 2 of us live here! (So he was saying I moved it without using those words.)
I said 'one of these days I am fucking moving out and then you will have no-one to blame for shit except YOU.' Then he starts laughing it off saying 'you're leaving? stop trying to cheer me up LOL.' So he is fine now and I am fucking steaming!
Sorry, I don't know why I am posting or what I hope to gain from it; just maybe some advice from people who have suffered the same shit, and how they deal with it, or some reassurance. Anything.
We have been together 27 years by the way, and married for 24. He has always been like this - never admits he is wrong, and likes to shift the blame to anyone but himself.... usually me, but occasionally it was one of the kids (before they left home 3 or 4 years ago.) !
But he seems to be getting worse this past few years! It doesn't happen every day; but probably half a dozen times a year maybe. Not enough to badly affect my life, but enough to be a niggle! And when it happens it makes me soooooooo pissed off.
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Pissed off with being blamed for stuff I haven't done!!!
gingerjenny · 03/12/2017 13:40
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