Bf staying over when dc are in bed, would you?

[CandiedPeach]

Only been seeing each other a few months (I’ve known him longer) and we are taking things slow. Absolutely no plans for him to meet dd or anything.

We only really get to see each one night a week, when dd is with her Dad. But I’m currently sat home alone, and wondering if it would be so bad to invite him round when dd is in bed. She sleeps through and rationally I can’t think of any reason why not, but I can’t help feeling it’s a bit..... (can’t quite think of a word to describe it).

And if I did would I/should I tell dd’s Dad? We have an agreement we’d speak to the other before introducing anyone to her, but he wouldn’t be actually seeing her at all.

It is best ime if new partners can be introduced while DCs are still very young. For other reasons I was single until my 2 elder DCs were grown up and left home with families of their own. I was shocked at how difficult 1 DC in particular has been when I met someone.
There is no question of any risk to DCs. They have their own lives and didn't spare much time when I was alone. Now that there is someone they are loud and long in protest to such an extent that the more difficult one has been dreadful with swearing and threatening. You wont get that with a 1 year old.
It is your life too. You are a mum and have a responsibility to your DC but don't give up every other aspect of being alive

The relationship between you and your ex sounds kind and respectful.

I think that's so unusual it's blown a gasket on MN.

That sounds really difficult Stressed .
No plans for introducing to dd for quite some time though and my bf’s really respectful of that. In fact he’s pretty great all round, it’s early days and I really wasn’t looking for anything serious. But he’s so lovely and completely understanding that dd comes first and that my time is split in lots of ways. I stayed at his last night, but he knew I had some work to do and he’d cooked and bought my favourite snacks and chocolate (I don’t even remember telling him what I liked) and he was completely fine with me zoning out on him whine I worked.
Sorry for that! I’m taking things slow and absolutely no real life gushing, so just wanted to get it out of my system a little bit.

Thanks springydaffs we are trying. He’s my ex for a good reason and it’s not always easy. But dd comes first and he’s a good dad and so far he’s been a good ex.

CandiedPeach - I hope things go well for you and bf. He sounds a lovely guy. Don't let him slip through your hands. I have allowed my elder ones to deter prospective bfs but not this time. They would give up nothing for me! Good luck to you all

I know it’s been a little while.
But..... he’s staying over tonight for the first time with dd here.
He’s been round in the evenings a few times since I posted, but hasn’t stayed over. I know it’s silly, but I feel a bit nervous about it

CandiedPeach - Hope it all goes well tonight. Don't feel nervous it is only normal. Be very calm and relaxed and both dc and bf will relax too

Thank you StressedtoHellandBack dd will be in bed and completely unaware. I just feel a bit nervous about the morning and juggling him leaving with dd waking up. But I do know I’m being silly and it will be absolutely fine.

And I am looking forward to him staying, plus he’s going to cook dinner when he gets here.

Have a lovely evening!

I did it when mine were 7 and 4, he arrived after bedtime and left very early on xx

That’s the plan gitta going to set our alarms early so he can get up and go. Kinda feel a bit like I’ll be kicking him out after getting what I want. But he says he’s fine with that
Thanks Betty