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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What are your thoughts/experience with dating a younger man?

46 replies

Choccywoccydoo10 · 29/11/2017 20:09

I ask because I've known a guy for 4 months. We both like each other and things are getting more flirty. He is 3 years younger than me. I'm late 20s he is early 20s. Seems quite mature, he is already thinking for the future. We have so much in common.
People keep telling me not to go there because he's 3 years younger. What are people's opinions/experience on this?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 29/11/2017 20:10

Blimey. 3 years is irrelevant.
Thought you were going to say 12, or 16, or 20+

DearTeddyRobinson · 29/11/2017 20:12

Pfft. My DH is 6 years younger than I am.

deai · 29/11/2017 20:14

So like 23 and 26? You're pretty much the same age him it's fine! I'm 26 and I wouldn't think twice about that age difference.

MarklahMarklah · 29/11/2017 20:15

It's nothing!
I'm 4 years older than DH. His brother is in a long-term relationship (20+ years) with a woman 5 years older than him.

My sibling is 9 years younger than their spouse. Friend A has been in a relationship with a man 16 years her senior for the past 5 years. Friend B is married to a man 12 years her junior.

TheNaze73 · 29/11/2017 20:16

3 years really isn’t a big deal from the mid 20’s onwards

Choccywoccydoo10 · 29/11/2017 20:19

I don't see a problem. But family and friends say he's too young! Even though they haven't even met him.
My nan is 20 years older than her husband. Been married 30 years!

OP posts:
MarklahMarklah · 29/11/2017 20:46

Family and friends aren't dating him! And if they say anything else, refer them to your nan. I like your nan, and I've not met her! :)

Ellisandra · 29/11/2017 20:48

Surely it's not possible to be early and late 20s and 3 years apart? I think you make that sound more than it is. Surely you're both just mid 20s?

Tip: if you let others decide for you, you're too young to be dating Wink

Choccywoccydoo10 · 29/11/2017 21:39

I'm 26 he is 23. Think they might be worried as I have a DS and hes young but he knows about him and asks questions now and then about him.
Thanks Grin my nan is great and very young at heart.

OP posts:
gingerbreadmam · 29/11/2017 21:51

Think it depends on the people really.

I'm 3 years older than dp. In the beginning of our relationship I really never noticed but now I am early 30s it does sometimes feel like we want different things sometimes.

Choccywoccydoo10 · 29/11/2017 21:53

Oh really gingerbread why's that?

OP posts:
Chocolatear · 29/11/2017 22:00

I met my parrner when I was 35 and he was 25.
20 years later we're married with a teenager and still very happy. We have a very stable marriage!

3 years is nothing!

Chocolatear · 29/11/2017 22:00

I met my parrner when I was 35 and he was 25.
20 years later we're married with a teenager and still very happy. We have a very stable marriage!

3 years is nothing!

Ohffsmalcom · 29/11/2017 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Runwayqueen · 29/11/2017 22:08

There is 4 years between myself and dp. To begin with I was cautious as I have a young dd and had left an EA relationship, but we are just approaching 6 years together and still very happy. There were some differences to begin with but as time has passed they are less noticeable. He was 24, and I 28 when we got together.

Don't let friends and family put you off.

Choccywoccydoo10 · 29/11/2017 22:15

I've dated someone a year younger but that was when I was a teenager. Ds dad is 8 years old than me and he wasn't a great partner. So I figured as they say age is only a number.
Don't think it's fair for family/friends to judge when they haven't met him. His family sound similar to mine and he seems to be family orientated which I love.

OP posts:
gingerbreadmam · 29/11/2017 23:06

When I was ready for us to move out dp really wasn't. We did anyway but I always feel like I have to put pressure on for the things that I want because they just don't seem as important to him probably due to age and maturity.

I'm desperate to be engaged and then married. Dp is in no rush. J don't think it's because he doesn't want to there's just other things he would rather do with his money at his age.

BackforGood · 29/11/2017 23:40

Right, so with the drip feed, I would expect your family are saying that stage rather than age might make a difference.
I know a lot of youngsters around 23 yrs old, and I can't think of one of them that is at a stage of their lives where they would be wanting to be settling down in a family situation. I know there are youngsters that do - and many that have children younger than that, but, there's an awful lot that don't.
the fact you are already a parent, puts you at a different stage of life than the 23 yr olds I know.

chatty1234 · 30/11/2017 07:09

3 years is nothing. Enjoy and tell others and their opinions to butt out

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 30/11/2017 07:15

3 years is nothing! If the ages were the other way around would you or your friends think anything of it?
My husband is 19 years younger than me! Grin

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 30/11/2017 07:20

I should add that we are perfectly happy and he is the more mature of the 2 of us!

Go for it OP!

ShatnersWig · 30/11/2017 08:07

FFS I can't believe anyone would have any sort of angst over a 3 year age difference! You know some very odd people if they are warning you off him (unless they know him personally and know some dark secret)

Choccywoccydoo10 · 30/11/2017 11:14

Spoke to my mum this morning and she said again how immature he probably is! She hasn't even met the guy. Saying that my parents have never liked any guy I've dated expect 1. But they aren't the one who would be dating him! So their opinion doesn't count! I personally don't think 3 years is a issue

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 30/11/2017 11:52

Not an issue at all.
Not in the slightest!
Blimey I though you were gonna say 15 years or something.
3 years is FA!!!
Women out live men by more than that anyway.

HungerOfThePine · 30/11/2017 13:42

I agree with backforgood it's probably more lifestage than actual age.
I was you just over a year ago in every sense although my family didn't pitch in a single thing they just vaguely knew I was seeing someone.

We aren't together now because it was true in our case about different lifestages, we were both fuel for our fire of immaturity thoughGrin.

Forget their comments it means nothing it either works with this guy if that's the goal or it doesn't but just enjoy the ride while you do it.

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