What are your thoughts/experience with dating a younger man?

[Choccywoccydoo10]

I ask because I've known a guy for 4 months. We both like each other and things are getting more flirty. He is 3 years younger than me. I'm late 20s he is early 20s. Seems quite mature, he is already thinking for the future. We have so much in common.
People keep telling me not to go there because he's 3 years younger. What are people's opinions/experience on this?

It really is about stage and you're expectations.

At 26 I dated a 23 year old. I had a serious, established job, a Home, a pet. He had just graduated and moved to London and still lived like a student. If I'd wanted a serious relationship with him it would not have worked, but as I just wanted to date a couple of times a week it was fine.

At 32 I started dating a 27 year old. Bigger age gap, but we both wanted a serious relationship and were responsible grown ups. Two years later we're very happy and getting married in January.

So you need to think about what is he the individual like and what do you both want out of thus relationship.

23 and 26?
That just confirms what I said - you're not late 20s and him early 20s at all!
He may be earlies, but you're just mid.
I agree with PP it's more about life stage.

As a 47yo, you two are the same age!

This really is a total non issue.

My boyfriend is 11 years younger than me, and that’s not a big deal either.

3 years isn't even a gap

Normally I'd say 3 years is nothing but really it depends on both your maturity levels. At 26 I had long since moved to London and was in a demanding career. At 23, my brother was an oversized toddler who still sponged off my mum and had never had a proper job. Then again, he's 29 now and still a man child.

All of my partners have been at least 3 years older than me except one who was 2 years younger and it felt like dating an infant. But I've known men who are pretty mature by that age. Really depends on you both

My boyfriend is 25 and I’m 37. He’s more mature than me and there are no issues at all! My family were like yours until they met him, now they love him.

It’s because you have s child and they’re concerned.

I suspect his friends and family are saying the same.

Be careful

I dated someone 4 years younger than me when I was 24. It was awful. He was immature and controlling and insecure. Never again.

But, that was more to do with him rather than his age. My friend is marrying her bf who is 9 years younger (29/38) and they have been together for years and years.

It's down to the individuals

user21 would you like to elaborate on this please:

It’s because you have a child and they’re concerned. I suspect his friends and family are saying the same. Be careful

Yes Shatner
Because the OP has someone else’s future to consider and not just her own. Her family and friends may be concerned he’s just out for some fun and not interested in a commitment. This is fine so long as the OP is ok with this - hence the be careful.

His family and friends may also be concerned about the added complications of dating someone with a child.

That is the same for any single mum, though. Has bugger all to do with a (almost non-existent) age difference.

My bf is 37 and I'm 42. Childless. I guess this might become an issue in the not so distant future but we're good for now. No one says a word, not his parents or mine or our friends. Not to our faces anyway!

I think the fact he’s only 23 is significant.
It’s also not up to you to decide what does and doesn’t have bugger all to do with it.

I wouldn't even class 3 years as an age gap tbh. I'm 23, my DP 26, and I can't say it's ever even been considered. As for life stages, it depends entirely on the person doesn't it? I'd happily have children right now, my DP is happy to wait a few years but isn't too worried.
Everyone is different and you have to take him as he comes. He may be ready to be a stepdad, he may not.

Exactly the same gap between me and my
DH - met the same age as you two and been together 12 years. Never been any age-related issues.

user21 Your point was that the OP was a mum and therefore she also needed to consider her child. Not unreasonably. But that should ALWAYS be the case, regardless of him being younger, older or if he enjoys dressing as Madonna in his spare time. And a guy in his 30s or even 40s might only be after fun.

..... and ???

My point is that age is significant here.

How is the age significant? It’s 3 years!! Depends on the person surely.

Yea i probably agree. More the person rather than the age. Tbh I need to get to know him better to know if we are on the same page