I currently have my niece living with me.
(Quick backstory - DN hasn't had the easiest few years with my sister, bullying at school, eating problem, witnessed a domestic violence, new sibling, new man in the house and sister pregnant quickly again, massive argument with my sister which resulted in niece being kicked out and banished from seeing other siblings)
Now I am having a little problem with DN. I have no experience what so ever with 11 year olds, so I am looking for wisdom off mumsnetters.
It seems lately whenever I ask or say anything, she always has too argue back or have the last word. And it can be over something so simple.
For example last night-
Me : Have you packed your gym kit?
Her : Did you wash it and put it in my room?
Me : yeah..
Her : what do you think then?
Her favourite phrases are " whatever" and " Don't care" when I try and explain the way she's spoken too me isn't nice.
My DH has pointed out if I let it carry on she'll get worse and I'll be making a rod for my own back and she doesn't speak to him like that so why do I accept it.
It doesn't really bother her when I take her gadgets away because as she smugly tells me "mum use to do that. Doesn't bother me". Obviously me talking too her isnt working either.
I know she has taken the situation with her mum badly (understandably her mum won't even talk with her unless she apologies to the new lover man. Even if she does, she doesn't want her back home) She currently has a counsellor in place at school. They have no concerns over DN, and say she has fitted in perfectly and have no problem with her attitude.
I don't know what steps to take next. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.