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Original poster

Found husbands creepy search results on Facebook

77 replies

Whatatwatheis · 18/11/2017 22:11

My husband is out tonight and I had a sneaky look at his tablet.

On Facebook not only has he been searching specific ex girlfriends regularly, but he’s also been searching my 14 year old sons girlfriend, plus my friends 18 year old daughter Sad.

That’s creepy isn’t it, and not just me being jealous?

He’s very senior in his job, and he’s also been searching various young attractive staff members Sad

I’m 2 stone overweight after having a baby, and feeling like crap nowSad

OP posts:
RainyApril · 19/11/2017 08:48

I don’t think it’s particularly creepy either. I look up exes and dd’s boyfriends. One day last week I looked at her current boyfriend, just to get a feel for what sort of person he is, and saw that the same 3-4 friends commented on everything he put on, so I looked at them too. I bet I wasted an hour before thinking what the hell am I doing?!

Does your dh know you feel unattractive to him? If so, is he doing anything at all to make you feel more secure? He may be unaware that there’s even a problem. He may be perfectly happy with your new figure.

RainyApril · 19/11/2017 08:51

Facebook search history only shows those names you’ve typed in to search, I’ve just checked.

loveyoutothemoon · 19/11/2017 10:05

I don't think it's creepy, maybe he's being nosey, that's what people do on Facebook. Why would you think it's weird? It's someone's public profile.

merville · 19/11/2017 11:50

Perhaps because it appears he has purposefully searched for these girls'/womens' profiles (not clicked on them while browsing/using FB) and that his searches are exclusively for the profiles of attractive young females he knows, or his ex partners/lovers...

merville · 19/11/2017 11:53

It's also quite unprofessional as a senior in a workplace to be searching for and looking at young colleagues of the opposite sex's personal/social FB pages.

They're already employed so the possibility of it being some kind of HR check (is it an urban myth that some companies do that anyway?) is not there.

IrritatedUser1960 · 19/11/2017 11:57

How is you putting on 2 stone an excuse for perving over young women on the internet? especially a 14 year old.
The only way a man should be looking up a 14 year olds details is if he is another 14 year old.

NC4now · 19/11/2017 12:02

You can’t assume he’s ‘perving on’ the 14 year old. I generally have a look at DSs girlfriends profiles if I don’t know them. Not full on stalkery but I like to see who he’s hanging round with and most of the lads I know.
It’s a bit suss that he’s only looking at women though, I suppose.

SandyY2K · 19/11/2017 12:07

Maybe you should ask if he really wants another baby.

I look up some kids in DDs school...usually because thry appear as friend suggestions...then sometimes I look at their page which leads to looking at their friends etc

I do think a man checking up on a young girl can appear inappropriate... but I'd like to think it's out of curiosity and nothing sinister.

TammySwansonTwo · 19/11/2017 12:56

It totally depends on the person too.
If you see your husband has looked up a 14 year old girl you know and you suspect his intentions are inappropriate, that probably says a lot about his behaviour generally.

anxiousnow · 19/11/2017 13:46

Is it only young females on his search or are there males too? For me this woild be key. As Pp it could be innocent but then it would be all young females.

sonjadog · 19/11/2017 13:51

I don´t find this creepy, just nosy. I look up people on fb out of curiosity from time to time. Their age or gender doesn´t really come into it. I find other people interesting and like reading their profiles.

elisa2502 · 19/11/2017 13:53

Don’t be so suspicious it’s not pervy he’s just trying to find out a bit more about them

category12 · 19/11/2017 13:56

The op already said it was only young women and girls he was searching on the 2nd page. I think that's creepy.

Original poster
Whatatwatheis · 19/11/2017 13:58

It’s only females, and very attractive ones. No males at all. And a few ex girlfriends, and my sons 14 year old girlfriend.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 19/11/2017 15:27

Until you have a firm grip on what's going on, absolutely do not get pregnant.

splatattack · 19/11/2017 15:37

Keep checking and get evidence before you confront him...is there any way you can check his phone?

PumpkinSquash · 19/11/2017 15:56

Loads of people search for other people on Facebook.
I'm another nosey searcher.
it's part of the territory of Mnet grin Jump to the weird conclusion first

Yep!

PumpkinSquash · 19/11/2017 15:58

I don´t find this creepy, just nosy. I look up people on fb out of curiosity from time to time. Their age or gender doesn´t really come into it. I find other people interesting and like reading their profiles.

I do this too, glad it's not just me Grin
Found myself looking through someone's holiday photos a while back no, I didn't know who they were
I'm the same re finding other people interesting and like reading about them.

Angelwendy · 19/11/2017 16:01

I look at ex's regularly on fb. I don't have any feelings for them at all but I'm just very nosy. Looking at the 14 and 18 year old is a bit weird though but hopefully there's a good explanation for it...

Chippyway · 19/11/2017 16:03

OP my sister has a 12 year old daughter. Her ‘boyfriend’ is on fb, she’s looked at his profile. Is that creepy too?
Or is it simply because in this situation the person looking is a man which makes it creepy? Hmm

As for the 18 year old - that’s probably jealousy speaking. It’s not illegal, he’s not doing anything wrong. Even if he does find her attractive, so what?

Everybody’s looked up ex’s before. No issue there unless he’s constantly looking

TammySwansonTwo · 19/11/2017 16:27

I wouldn't be creeped out if my husband did it as I know he would never perve over underage girls. If he was looking up loads of hot adult women then yes I'd assume he was perving.

I know men I'd immediately distrust if I found this though. Nothing to do with them being men specifically, everything to do with their attitude and behaviour.

Lotty1880 · 24/01/2018 21:21

Any update on this?

Megabeth · 24/01/2018 21:52

I would look up my 14 yr old son's girlfriend if he had one. I'm sure OH would too.

I've looked up people the same age as my eldest before, just to be nosey and see which uni they ended up at!

I also look up exes, even ones I can't stand. I do block people after just so I won't show up as suggested friends for them.

Spidermom76 · 25/01/2018 09:37

If you go in to the activity log you can see by date who he looked at, if it's just once for each person he may just be snooping, if it's the same person multiple times I would worry.

meowimacat · 25/01/2018 10:42

I think this is odd. If it's all women then it's not like he's just being curious is it. Is he just on their profile for a second, or is he going through all their pictures too?

My ex used to do this with our mutual girl friends. Then one day I found that between watching porn he was going on Facebook and looking at photos of our mutual girlfriends on nights out (making out with each other/wearing little) and it clearly wasn't just innocent.

I think if he's going through lots of womens profiles, and looking at all their photos then you have to question what he's doing. If he's just going on a couple of profiles every now and then, I guess he's just being a bit curious.

You obviously either need to keep an eye on his activity and eventually speak to him about it. Or ask him outright now.