Can't face separating H because of daughter

[Snowflake18]

Hi
Is there anyone who might be able to help me get my head around this.
My H has been repeated unfaithful. I just don't think I can face giving him another chance. I do love him but I don't think I can trust him anymore. I think we need to get divorced. But I can't bear for the damage it will do to my daughter who is 3.
At the moment we are playful and trying to keep things as normal as possible for her, tho people always say kids pick up on things so I have no idea what she thinks really. She's a very shy and sensitive little girl and only really comes alive and feels safe with my H and I. It will devastate her and she's at just a vulnerable age. The thought of her asking for Daddy and crying for him repeatedly breaks my heart. I know she won't transition well and feel it would set her back even more.
I equally know that I have a right to a life but I feel I might forever feel guilt at disrupting her at such a delicate age. I know it's not me really and it's my H who has done this but that won't make me feel any better or make any difference for the outcome for her.
Has anyone been through this? Would anyone recommend leaving it until school age when she is less reliant on us and has more of a social/friendship group? I feel lost.

I would say splitting up was worst on my Ex. For me it was a relief and I've never regretted it. My daughter gets to see her dad at his best and they have quality time together. She comes 'home' to me and she relaxes. I was surprised by how well she coped. I expected her to be devastated.

I split with my children's father when they were five and two. The two year old is 11 now and remembers nothing and seems unaffected by her fathers constant flakiness and disappearing for months at a time. five year old is fourteen and has a harder time with it because he remembers a time when his Dad was in his life more regularly. With hindsight I should have left him far sooner, when dd was ten days old actually and he disappeared on the piss for five days. That's my only regret. That I didn't end it sooner.

I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation.
Two things.
You can't really predict the effect of a split on your children. I found my patents split , when i was 4, hard because no one would be straight with me, and I could tell things were afoot, so was left feeling unsafe. It was good to get out of the poisonous atmosphere that had developed in my parents marriage though.

And the second thing is that it's great to let your kids see you chose happiness. A much better lesson to your daughter than staying to be cheated on again.

IMHO it's not what you do, it's how you do it. Move towards your happiness, and keep including all your DDS feelings. Let her know she can ask any questions, express any feelings and that she won't be judged, or told off.