Accused of cheating but 100% innocent

[Sshhbear]

My partner of fifteen years has got it in his head that I was cheating on him while working away from home. This suspicion came as a result of google history saying I didn't go home to my apartment one night I was away. I should also mention that while google timeline said I didn't go home, the entire nights snowshoe pings that clearly show I was in my apartment. The problem is that it has been six months since said night and my partner refuses to believe that I did nothing. He feels that my body language says otherwise and he has said really hurtful things around the topic. We are supposed to be getting married in March but I don't know what to do. If my partner truly knew me, he wouldn't have any doubts at all. I have never cheated nor would I ever. I have done all I can do to prove my innocence but now I'm lost. He is probably right about my body language but any change in it is mainly due to him watching and studying my every move and this is making me self conscious. Any suggestions would be welcome

TrojansAreSmegheads is totally spot on:

"...you should tell him that if he truly thinks so little of you then he should leave because you will not stay with a man who doesnt trust you."

If this all originated from the notoriously erratic and inaccurate location services of a cellphone, he's really deluded. Obviously I cannot comment if there are other reasons for him to distrust you, but if his obsession is purely based on this one discrepancy, he needs to get a grip.

It sounds like a mental health problem. Has he had problems with his mental health in the past?

You are right about walking on eggshells Olicity17. We've had our problems in the past but this is not sonething I've ever encountered with him. I am strong and independent and have always been 100% free to do my own thing. Honesty is my middle name. Fifteen years is a long time to just throw in the towel. I really want to fix him :(

You can’t fix him. He has the problem and he needs to seek help.

I think there are three possibilities

1. He’s generally controlling - but you say he’s not. Though I’m not convinced about his explanation about google.

1. He’s projecting because he’s having an affair himself.

1. He’s mentally ill and needs psychiatric help.

If it’s the third one then please get help urgently . I know someone who because convinced that his wife has been cheating and his children were not his. It ended very badly.

Whatever it is, DONT MARRY HIM. Postpone the wedding right now, it’s been 6 months he’s been acting like this and it’s not getting better.

Fifteen years is a long time to just throw in the towel. I really want to fix him

But no long enough for him to risk it all based on google maps.

You cant fix him. He will always think there is a chance you cheated. That he is right. Even with counselling.

Exdh got counselling. It helped him alot. But it didnt ever get rid of the what if. Despite claiming he has never tracked me, he believes i should be ok with it. He could never understand that tracking me, going through my phone, logging into my social media accountd felt like an invasion of privacy. He felt if i didnt have anything to hide, i would be ok with it.

So we split. I will not live my life hoping google maps doesnt fuck up.

Fifteen years is a long time to just throw in the towel. I really want to fix him

You cannot fix him. What makes you think you can do this anyway, you are his partner, too close to the situation as well and far more invested than he (hence the first sentence). You are not responsible for the actions of another person and this person has wanted to track your movements. Using the children to justify this to you was really low. Writing walking on eggshells is to my mind code or another way of writing living in fear.

The first part of your sentence reads like the "sunken costs fallacy" and that causes people to keep on making poor relationship decisions. A bad investment is not suddenly going to become good.

You would be foolish indeed to marry him now. You really do need to look at the whole future of this relationship because it is certainly further going to go south.

What's his relationship history and family background OP?. My guess is that this is not new behaviour but has remained more hidden or unrecognised by you till now when it is becoming more overt. This has ramped up over time.

Have been accused that I cheated on my boyfriend but never did. I was in a guys room, for about 4 hours, but never once done anything with this guy, we were just talking. We both knew the guy, and he was in our circle, my boyfriend had been with this guy all day but was arrested over something or other. When I came home I went to the guys room to find out what had happened and ended up being in the room for 4 hours but just talking. Another person had come in the room so I hid in the bathroom, as I knew there would be gossip that I was doing something with this guy. That of course didn't help me and looked like I was guilty of something, but I got afraid as my boyfriend has been abusive to me and I knew then that I'd put myself in a situation. Well a couple of months down the line the other person that found me in the room told my boyfriend and the last year I had nothing but abuse of my boyfriend, physically and emotionally. He wants me to admit to sleeping with guy when I never done but talk. New year just gone was the last time I spent with my boyfriend . As he still brought it up again. He has now told me to top everything that hes put me through that he had sex with a girl that used to live in the same block where I live. He said he done it to get revenge on me. I made contact today to ask him if we can meet in a couple of weeks, to clear the air, as after 5 yrs together, plus having a baby together that passed away, we shouldn't end it with such hostility. He said yes but only if I admitted that I cheated. How do I prove I never I cant have him always believing and constantly accusing me of something I never did

Only on here are women told to trust their gut and snoop, and men should stfu

Fucking ridiculous

Zombie thread
Anitajones, you need to start your own thread, you will get more help.

Go fuck yourself, Bill.