Am I being taken for a mug by my "wife"

[Bradybounce1]

Lots of ups and down throughout our marriage.

We have one DD 5 and been married 12 years.

She has been and still is having an emotional affair and lying to me about how much she cares about the guy.

Whilst saying she doesn't know where she stands with us - focusing all her attention on him and none on me.

Am I being a total fool to be hanging around?
Why when she has these feelings does she not just end it with me?

By the way, if it's any consolation the new bloke will probably lose interest after a time or she'll eventually realize that all he wants from her is sex. He'll likely realize that if she cheated on you he needs to assume that she'll cheat on him as well eventually.

I would see a solicitor very soon.
Has moving out put you at a disadvantage as regards residency of your son?
Would you like to see lots of your son or let DexW look after him.
I think you need to give yourself a shake and actually look at what your future will be (alone in a bedsit??) or with a good shared parenting arrangement and an opportunity to find someone who does care about you? Stop daydreaming and make some decisions.

Residency for DD is near enough 50/50. So I'm not too worried. Would actually like to see her more.

I can't deny any of the 'harsh' comments.

Her not knowing where she stands with you is code for not having the courage to finish it. Get legal advice now.

jeaux90 It's crazy isn't it... A person has feelings for someone else and doesn't want to end it with you to focus on their new 'relationship'.

Yep she wants you to be the bad guy clearly. If it was me I'd get the ball rolling on the divorce. Focus on your kid and your job and getting the financials/legal done.

There is nothing more annoying for people life your wife than seeing someone crack on with their lives. Take care of yourself, spend time with people who care about you.

The residency needs sorting out.

I will have to find a good lawyer.

I think she will do anything to stop herself being seen as the bad guy.

Does anyone have any advice on finding a good lawyer?

Google local solicitors in your area who specialise in family and/or divorce.
Visit a couple. Some offer a free half hour so make the most of those.
You'll need your marriage certificate to get your divorce so have a look for that.
Thank take it from there.
Do it before Christmas.
They all get very busy in the new year!

Resolution.

Or

The Law Society.

Thanks.

I'll do my prep work this week and get to see the lawyers next week as I'm on annual leave.

Really struggled to get out of bed today. It was my first day off.

I just couldn't face seeing a lawyer.

I know she is with OM why isn't that giving me motivation?