every time I turn around he is asleep.

[lolaflores]

at the weekend he sleeps in till 11.00am and will have a snooze later in thea fternoon
Today, he is meant to be working from home. I have just returned after running some errands and he is back in bed.
He has a nap most evenings after work. 40 winks.
He plays dodge the alarm every morning from 6.15 to 7.00isn.

Tgere is a mysterious smell in the bathroom that he has promised to look into. There are numerous things that need addressing round the house which seem to remain unfinished despite constant pronises to get them sorted.

I am at my fucking wits end. I say nothing anymore cause it turns into a fight, he knows he is taking the piss so gets defensive but does nothing to change it.

I am going to ring someone to deal with everything because at this rate we are going to be living under a tarp as the house falls gentlt apart.

He snores pretty badly and I think this is keeping him awake or not sleeping properly. He stays up till 12.00 ish most nights, later at the weekend.
Right now I am wound up by it all.

Sounds like sleep apnoea to me, get him to the doctors.

It could be sleep apnoea. Does he fall asleep easily or is he just tired? Either way the snoring could be to blame.

Could you investigate the smell?

In what way is he taking the piss? I doubt he's deliberately sleeping to spite you.
Why does it have to turn into an argument? Why can't you ask him?

I think Johnbuoy is suggesting that you check for carbon monoxide which is highly dangerous, but if that is not the case try persuading him to get medically checked over.

Sometimes when a person is depressed they attempt to block their problems out by sleeping as much as possible. How is he coping at work?

Carbon monoxide is odourless, that's why it's so dangerous.

The smell is coming from the bathroom and I think it is the electrics behind the shower.
I haven't investigated as I have been assured he will look.

He drops off to sleep in a blink and does bumble about during the night so I think he is waking himself (and me) up.

For me, getting up at 11.00am is taking the piss because there is a list as long as my arm of things that need doing and he has promised, OK, promised me, he will do. As he has not done them, then I think he is being very unfair as he has responsibilites, just like I have. If I say I will do something, then it is done promptly.

As to carbon monoxide, wouldn't we all be suffering the same symptoms? We have those carbon monoxide measuring things dotted about the house and they seem to not be registering anything extraodinary.
He has a stressful job...which I can see as contributing but I feel a bit left to all of it.
Any discussion of his sleeping habits is seen as a personal attakc, not something that can be discussed rationally. So, I just feel at a bit of a loss

Is he depressed?

If you're phrasing it as he's "taking the piss" and he's shirking his responsibilities then it is a personal attack.
If you phrase it as you're worried and don't understand his sleeping habits that's different.

value it is hard to tell really. Stressed, more than likely but if depressed he certainly hasn't revelaed any negative feelings when asked, which is about all I can do.

Wolfie, thanks for the input. However, his sleeping habits seem to lead to him shirking or appear to be shirking his responsibilites. There might just be a bit of a grey area in there where I am feeling frustrated. I have never said to his face he is taking the piss, all I have done is try to approach the subject objectively but it turns into a row, on his part. I do not provoke a row with personal attacks, this is his response...

If you speak to him with the attitude that he's taking the piss you don't have to say the exact words.
I would worry there is a reason for this sleep pattern. If he's simply a lazy bastard then time to go. No point staying around and seething.

You don't sound very understanding. He might be I'll and you just think he's ducking and diving.

ill

SandyY2K if this was a sudden development I would certainly give the benefit of the doubt but it is a pattern spanning 17 years.

wolfie I have never said to his face he is taking the piss, all I have done is try to approach the subject objectively but it turns into a row, on his part. I do not provoke a row with personal attacks, this is his response...this was my comment at 12.48..

But your whole attitude on here is that he's a lazy shirking bastard. No concern or desire to understand.
I have depression. My sleep patterns were similar to this at my worst. I'm not a lazy shirker.
He could have sleep apnoea. This is a serious condition.

You never said it was going on for 17 years. You mean he's been falling asleep at the drop of a hat for the last 17 years?

If that's the case, why are you suddenly irritated by it?

If my husband could fall asleep that quickly at any given time of the day, my port of call would be trying to get him a doctors appointment because it isn't normal. I wouldn't presume he's doing it on purpose woth the agenda of pissing me off.

He goes to bed too late and that's why he's knackered.

He needs to get himself to the gp and have some blood tests. Plenty of treatable things could be causing him to be so sleepy. Before I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and Addison’s disease I could easily sleep 20 hours a day and regularly slept in till 2pm. I just couldn’t help it.

Why can't her DH get his own Dr's appointment? Tbh after living with someone who sleeps all the time I'd be annoyed if I was doing household chores and there was a grown man asleep!

@lolaflores Set some alarms around the house to go off every hour! That'll learn him!

17 years! I'd expect my dh to have seen gps for apnoea , depression and anything else, done diets and energy food , gone to bed early etc so he could contribute like a normal person.

I think the fact it has been going on so long points even more to something like sleep apnoea.

I think we're all just trying to say consider there may be a medical reason for this rather than him just being lazy.

My oldest dB has sleep apnoea. I always used to call him lazy as we would get the same bus home from work and he would sleep on it. I feel sad now he has been diagnosed.

You sound a bit cold about this, it sounds like a real medical issue. He should see a Dr as it’s not right.
Why don’t you check the smell out yourself?