Husband wants to be sinlgle

[catsanddogsfightless]

We've had a rocky marriage for years. A few weeks ago DH said he wants to be single. I was shocked and didn't see that coming.

I asked him to reconsider. He said he'd think about it. Two weeks later I'm still walking on eggshells. Do I ask him what he's decided/thinking. He says he doesn't know. Later that day I say I can't live my life waiting and waiting. I said I'd move out that night. I packed a large bag and went to my parents place. DH is not saying anything really in reply to my texts and takes hours to answer but the answer is nothing more than digging at me. He said he wants to be single weeks ago. Now he seems to be shoving head in the sand. Nothing is being said about practicalities. We have a house jointly owned jointly mortgaged. He earns good money. I earn fairly good money. I will make his wish for single life come true. He isn't doing anything practical at all. He is keav8ng curtains closed all day long while he's at work. Leaving lights on in the house all day long while he is at work. I only know because I needed to see our pets. I went there before I went to work yesterday. All the washing up from Saturday still there. All my stuff still there. Is he having a breakdown?

I'd be looking at getting the house sold...splitting assets...getting divorced...did that you can both move forward.

I'm not good with being rejected like this.....and I'm not one for begging either.

Don't continue walking on egg shells - take control back and tell him it is over.
He can't tell you he wants to be single and just leave it with you. It's not a respectful partner and you deserve better.

Thank goodness you realised that he's a useless twat before you had kids

I'd text him to let him know that an estate agent will be calling to make arrangements to sell the house tbh.

I get that you are worried about him having a breakdown, but if your marriage has been on the rocks for years, has he been having a breakdown for years?

Maybe he draws the curtain so neighbours don't twig what's happening either way he isn't your problem

Don't be shocked if OW is there soon again either way divorce him. Look out for yourself and move on

Wow, I agree with the pp, stop walking on eggshells and tell him that you want to be single too, or at least, single from him

Look out for yourself. He's not.

If he says he wants to be single, he's telling to he wants to be single. There's no subtext, no "between the lines", he said he wants to be single! and if he's playing a massive game with you, even more reason to get the fuck out of there. Cut your losses.

Move back in.

File for divorce. This will focus him immediately.

It is very important that you move back, even though it will be difficult to see him daily.

Get some legal advice asap and file for divorce. Only thing is you might find he changes his mind then so be warned.

Why did you move out?

I’d be moving back and telling him if he wants to be single then so be it, but it means doing things that single people do and move out on their own

He is the one that suddenly wants this change, so why have YOU moved out? If he wants change so badly, then he should be the one to effect the change.

And you have given him exactly what he wants. You have moved out allowing him to now have the single life.... with no disruption to his life.... all except it seems his house isn't being kept as tidy and it was.

Call me a little bitter (probably am, having a bad emotional day so sorry if I come across harsh) but he is just going to drag this out as long as he can.

Yes, you need to have the conversation. And not to continue like this. He cannot have his cake and eat it OP. Don't let him treat you like this.

Agree about moving back in if only so that you can sell the house if you need to as it sounds as if he would not take care of it.

If he's still got the washing there, that's his lookout. It's also his problem if he's having a breakdown. Single people have to work these things out by themselves. Don't text him or wait for him to do something like some sort of puppet, you'll never forgive him or trust him after this even if he deigns to have you back.

Why on earth did you move out? Move back in asap. If he doesn't like it he can move out.

Move back in today, start divorce proceedings today, ring up estate agents today. He wants to be single, you've moved out so he now feels single with no effort. Take contr.

1. see a solicitor about divorce 2) move back in 3) don't do his fucking washing up. Wash your own stuff, etc. 4) tell him you're getting a divorce. Any breakdown he's having is his lookout because he's an adult, but IME 'I want to be single again' = he's cheating.

You poor thing. You must be completely devastated.

However, you need to get your big girl pants on and take control away from this prick. Move back in. Kick him out of your room. If you're feeling kind you could make up the spare room for him.

File for divorce. He didn't want the status quo so he's the one that needs to take the hit. He's being cruel. Sounds like he's trying to put you in a box where he gets to control you.

Why on earth are so many people saying to move back in?!

There's no issue here about residency with children.

If you are happy staying with your parents for a bit, then stay there where you can be happy, supported, and not exposed to him.

But stop paying your share of the bills - contact council tax and make sure they know you're not there now and not liable though.
Mortgage is a bit trickier - you must not default on that. But if you can be sure he won't default, I would refuse to pay your share of that too, citing that you need to pay board to your parents. (although, be fair on that because the mortgage is still your responsibility)

Go to a solicitor and start the ball rolling.

Move back in - hope he hasn't changed the locks - see a solicitor and file for divorce / division of assets etc . He's been quite clear about his desires . Sorry for you .

Do you have a spare room?
If so then move his stuff in there and get yourself settled.
Any crap lying around, dishes etc.... put them on his bed so he can sort them out.
Any other crap like clothes and rubbish, in a bin bag and in his bedroom.
I agree to phone estate agents and get the house values.
You'll need to see 2 or 3 and go with the one you feel most confident about.
Take back control.
Don't be waiting for HIM to decide what HE wants.
Sod him. Do what you need to do.

I would advise moving back in as you are more in control of splitting assets etc during divorce.

It took me five years to sell my house while I was living in it. If exh had had his way he would still be there now set up for life and obstructing the sale. He did try to prolong it as it was but I was in control of the sale legally.

I would also advise paying half the mortgage. Exh refused to pay a single bill or contribute towards the mortgage after he left and it came back to bite him when we were dividing the assets on divorce.

My divorce went to court as we couldn't agree on anything. The first question the judge asked was, who pays the mortgage? Exh said, she does. That set the tone for the whole proceedings and the financial settlement was in my favour.

He's not having a breakdown, he wants out. You need to accept that. Go back to your home. You don't need to be living away. Get all relevant documents together and see a solicitor re divorce etc. If he won't do it then you'll have to do it now. Along the way he will play his part, when he is forced to.

You moved out and it doesn't sound as if he's missed you. It's unfortunate but he has already told you he wants to be single, and you need to believe him. Take your life back and get things sorted, hopefully you can get some emotional support from family and/or close friends

Also I've never known of a married man leaving the marriage to be single. Even if he's claiming that. Even if his wife believes that. So it's imperative you go and live back in your home, and get the ball rolling too. I'd be putting house on market asap.

Also I've never known of a married man leaving the marriage to be single. Even if he's claiming that. Even if his wife believes that. So it's imperative you go and live back in your home, and get the ball rolling too. I'd be putting house on market asap.