You sound in the same position I was in for years, Alba. I really feel for you, it's so hard. HOWEVER, after our intimacy dwindled to nothing while the kids were growing up, and his stress at work caused insomnia, (meaning he insisted on sleeping in the spare room permanently)
, I decided earlier this year I couldn't carry on like this. Somehow, it had been nearly 8 YEARS since we'd had sex
I made the first move, surprised him one night with a goodnight kiss, told him the kids (teenage) had asked why we always hug and kiss the dog and not each other (true)!
He then instigated a kiss the next night, suggested we make more (us time), even just popping out out for a drink weekends, and before long it seemed natural to hold hands, cuddle on sofa, and within a few months we were finally having sex again! I tend to instigate this more than him, but I think after all those years he still feels slightly self conscious, although is willing!
Anyway it's all good now, I think it just needed one of us, (me in this case!) to overcome the awkwardness and make the first move! I really hope you two can work things out too.
I get the odd pang of 'What WERE we doing, wasting all those years?!) but as dh says, it's best to just think of where we are now and not let things get so bad again. All the best to you both.