Just found out my mum is a OW [EDITED by MNHQ]

[coffeelover1]

I am really angry and upset and could do with some advice. I took the day off work today to spend the day with my mother. We are very close and she told me that she had something to tell me. I know that she has been seeing someone for the last few months but she was always cagey about telling me who this person was. It turns out that the person she is seeing is a married man with 3 children. I vaguely remember his eldest child as she was the year below me in school! She tells me that he is getting divorced soon but she lives with his wife! I am just so angry and ended up arguing with her and cut my day with her short.

I am so embarrassed by what she is doing. I have a few friends I could speak with tonight about this. I don't want to loose my relationship with my mother other this but at the same time I am so angry. She has lied to me over the last few months and I cannot believe that she would do this to someone. I just posted to vent, I am so angry right now.

SandyY2K, I'm sorry about that last post, it wasn't fair to you.

Your mum's actions aren't yours.

1. focus on the good things about her that you love
2. accept the situation as it's not yours to influence
3. the right people won't judge her

As a single mum myself there have been times when I was tempted to find solace in inappropriate places. Being alone can be hard so find your empathy. She's your mum.

I don't comment on relationships very often but happened to see this. Finding out your Mum has lied and isn't the person you thought she was must be massively upsetting.

I don't have my Mum any more, but if she'd had an affair with a married man, (or if one of my daughters did) I'd feel massively disappointed at the hurt they and the husband were causing to the wife and children of the other family.

I'm quite surprised at some of the posts which imply that your Mum being an OW is nothing to do with you. If your Mum posted she'd be flamed as an OW.

If close family members do something which harms themselves or others I think close family should point this, out and support and encourage them to make better decisions.

Perhaps ask your Mum if the roles were reversed, and you were an OW, what approach would she take to you? I am guessing that she would be massively disappointed and advise you that you deserved better. Perhaps she would advise you to finish the affair, and then consider resuming the relationship if, but only if, the man's marriage really does break down.

Thank you for the posts everyone, just wanted to give you all an update.

Following advice on here, I gave her a call and we are back on good terms. She has asked if I would like to meet him but I have refused and would rather pretend that he does not exist. I told her that I will always be there for her but for now do not want to be involved in her relationship.

I think it would have been the wife l was calling-she deserves to know what a lying cheating scumbag she is married to.

She may be your DM what what she is doing to that poor woman is totally repulsive regardless what their relationship is like.
I would never look at my DM the same way again to know exactly what she is capable of--and it is not nice at all

Phew,,,read the headline as mum is THE other woman,,i.e bedding your husband !

Well done, think you have taken the right approach.