Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

DH 'appreciating' my body...

72 replies

Howannoyingisthis · 13/11/2017 11:14

DH has a strong sex drive. We have sex c. twice per week and ideally he'd like more.

He loves watching me getting dressed in the morning and finds it arousing. On days when he needs to be up and out of the house before me, he is often late because he is hanging around to catch a glimpse of me naked!

I find this very annoying. I don't mind being appreciated and fancied, I'm glad of course that my DH finds me attractive. But sometimes it seems to me to verge on ogling and perving iyswim, and a bit obsessive. I've actually started to look forward to times when I can get ready un-ogled!

I know this isn't Aibu, but AIBU!? Would you be happy or annoyed by such attention?

OP posts:

Originalfoogirl · 13/11/2017 11:53

Creepy.

And Nope, no jealousy here. (why must that always be the case when you disagree with someone?) It would make my skin crawl if my husband became a creep, hanging around to see me naked and making himself late for work. That's not flattering.

TonicAndTonic · 13/11/2017 11:55

Personally, I'd be happy and flattered by the attention especially as right now I'm 30 weeks pregnant and DP mostly looks at my uncovered bump with a kind of comic terror but if it pisses you off, he should stop it.

WitchesHatRim · 13/11/2017 11:57

A lot of negativity here! I think there are some green eyed women who secretly wish their husbands paid this much attention to them.

I think you are talking rubbish.

He is making OP feel uncomfortable so he needs to tone it down.

Plus the fact he could very well fund himself on a disciplinary being continually late in a new job!

TonicandLime · 13/11/2017 11:58

My DH always comments when I'm getting dressed... Things like "that's an eyeful" or "mmm. Don't get many of them to the pound

That is so grim - tacky office 'humour' from the 70s...... yuk.

RagingFemininist · 13/11/2017 11:59

I think he needs to learn the meaning of the word privacy.

And i completely understand why you are finding that annoying.
I would hide in the bathroom to get changed to to have some peace. He might then get the hint.
Or better you need to have a chat with him anijt it makes you uncomfortable. When y are getting dressed for the day, you just aren’t in the mood for sex/sexy thoughts.

RagingFemininist · 13/11/2017 12:03

A lot of negativity here! I think there are some green eyed women who secretly wish their husbands paid this much attention to them.

Hmm not all attention is good attention. And no women should automatically feel delighted at any sort of attention from a man (incl your DP/DH).

This is unwanted attention. Her DH should treat it as such and stop.

LuckyAmy1986 · 13/11/2017 12:06

My DH is a little bit like this although would never make himself late for work just to see me naked lol. I really like how attractive he finds me but sometimes it does get annoying so I totally get where you are coming from. I don't mind sometimes but if I say can you just let me get dressed in peace then he will do one. If yours doesn't, then that's an issue.

SandyY2K · 13/11/2017 12:17

A lot of negativity here! I think there are some green eyed women who secretly wish their husbands paid this much attention to them.

I agree with this actually.

ptumbi · 13/11/2017 12:24

A lot of negativity here! I think there are some green eyed women who secretly wish their husbands paid this much attention to them. - unwanted attention tho? Unwanted from anyone is still unwanted, married to or not.

I'd hate it, even from DP. He fancies the pants off me but can see my body without salivating everywhere.

Humpsfor20yards · 13/11/2017 12:24

Clearly some people don't see a difference between fancying your partner and hanging around to oggle, perving and obsessively at your partner while they are getting ready.

SandyY2K · 13/11/2017 12:26

My DH wouldn't make himself late, but he doesn't do a job that he needs to clock in on.

Actually just this morning....even after he was dressed for work . while I was getting dressed he got delayed/distracted with me and left later than intended.

And I've been known to get ready on the bathroom if necessary.

I usually get ready before him and he still after @ the same 20 years can't resist looking and commenting.

I'm used to it and I now make the comment before he does.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/11/2017 12:26

Eh? Why would anyone be jealous of someone complaining about unwanted attention from a horny man? OP isn't boasting, she's unhappy with it.

I'd get dressed somewhere else if he couldn't calm the fuck down.

ahhhsalmonskinroll · 13/11/2017 12:26

My dh ogles me a bit getting changed. But only if he happens to be there at the same time, he doesn’t hang around or seek me out. Doesn’t really matter what I am or am not comfortable with though. It makes you uncomfortable so it needs to stop. Tell him how you feel.

tccat · 13/11/2017 16:43

I get why you're annoyed , however if I cartwheeled naked past my husband he wouldn't notice so I do feel a pang of envy that you have someone who so obviously wants and appreciates you

user1465893880 · 13/11/2017 17:00

So let me get this right?

You’ve been with your husband for 20 years and he loves how you look and wants to see you naked as much as possible.

This is a problem for you??

WitchesHatRim · 13/11/2017 17:11

@user1465893880

If you actually read the Ops post? The comments he makes etc the fact he deliberetly waits for her to get changed and the comments from the 1950s that go along with It?

user1465893880 · 13/11/2017 17:13

I know. It’s a great base to a relationship isn’t it

Insomnibrat · 13/11/2017 17:14

I read somewhere (on here I think) that men view women the way Wile-E-Coyote viewed Roadrunner; as a cooked chicken on a platter ready to be devoured.

It'd creep me out.

oldlaundbooth · 13/11/2017 17:14

Do you have kids op?

oldlaundbooth · 13/11/2017 17:15

Doesn't sound like he's wrangling a toddler into the car seat in the morning anyway
..

Mustang27 · 13/11/2017 17:23

Sounds like my oh i despair as we have been together a third of the time you have I was hoping he’d get bored soon lol. My oh is also very complimentary when I’m fully clothed.

We are lucky in a way op but yes it would be nice that the very boring act of getting dressed wasn’t over sexualised.

Original poster

Howannoyingisthis · 13/11/2017 20:45

Yes, we have kids. Pre-teens.

I've probably over egged the comments. It's not particularly 'carry on' style, but the odd 'corrrrr' iyswim.

OP posts:

SonicBoomBoom · 13/11/2017 20:57

If I'm getting dressed/undressed and my DH wanders in, he'll stop, smile and say "Oh " or similar. But unless I respond immediately in a way that suggests I want sex/my stomach kissed/whatever, he'll leave me to it.

If he was so pathetically desperate to see me naked, even when I was in a rush or not in the mood to be ogled, that he wouldn't go and was late to work, I would find that the mother of all turn-offs.

There is nothing flattering or endearing about that.

lesleyhal · 13/11/2017 21:00

I think the fact your DH finds you so desirable is fantastic and should be embraced.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/11/2017 21:02

God this would drive me crazy.

There's a time and a place and a context for all these things.

Making yourself late for work and staring at someone getting changed now is creepy
.

You can tell them they are beautiful and how much you love them at a far more appropriate time.

And im pretty laid back

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread