I've been asked out in real life, but am rubbish, help!

[Quiddichcup]

Wise mnetters, I am so utterly useless with men, having been single for 10 years. That I need your help!

I met someone in my new job, back in April. He was also new and I would sometimes see him on the way in and we would walk and chat. I'm so awkward around men if I think there might be something there... so I took to hiding to avoid him. When I did next see him I got a huge , unexpected hug and I felt ok that he might like me and was more open. This went on for a while, nice chats, bit of affection but he didn't ask me out and so I assumed that was just his culture ( he is itallian) and he was being friendly. I felt slightly embarrassed that o had thought it could be anything more and just stopped thinking about it. I've only seen him for maybe 10 mins, in passing, since the summer.

Anyway, I was very surprised on Friday, to get a Facebook friend request off him. I don't know how he found me as I have no idea how he knew my last name. I accepted and he asked me if I would like to get drinks together sometime. I said it would be great, next weekend? And just got a thumbs up and a heart emoji.

And that's it.

That was saturday.

What do I do now? I feel like maybe it was as friends? And why hasn't he chatted to me more? I am so useless with men and am terrified of looking like an idiot.

Please help !

Why?

So he can do the same thing again?

He already asked to meet me tomorrow. And then went quiet on me. I'm not just going to leave him there so he can do the same when the whim takes him.

I'm a single parent, my free time is very limited and this is my only child free time between now and Feb. Of course I'm het up because I've kept the time free for him.

If it's not on, that's fine but I'd plan something else so my time isn't wasted..

That's why I'm het up.

He is constantly on fb, posting things and always active in the last hour.

sorry, i wasnt trying to have a dig. i meant it more along the lines of “you dont need him! dont get stressed about one guy, you can do better”

I've been single for 10 years, I don't need any guy 😉

I'm just narked at being messed around. I do not understand his motivation in going to great efforts to find me on fb, ask me out and then vanish. It's baffling.

Check yourself in somewhere fancy on FB 😂
Make him think you’re out having a ball —rather than sat at home on MN seething about him—

I can't even be arsed.

I can see he is on fb now.

He can basically fuck off, I'm going out with my friends Instead..

Honestly, he was like this in the summer, waiting for me ( a colleague told me lots of times) bounding over with big hugs and kisses, lots of arms round my shoulders and waist, stroking my hair, never asked me out.

He must just be weird.

Good for you. Enjoy your evening and forget about him. 🍺

I think it sounds like you're his back up plan and you would be better off having that night out with friends. Dating should be fun not stressful!

Still not heard anything at all.

It's all very odd and I really don't understand men.

I will feel so awkward if I see him on the way into work now :(

I knew someone who was a bit like this. Added on fb, started messaging, he requested a meet up almost immediately . Turned out he did it with everyone! Just so he could say oh I'm off out with such and such. Think it was a confidence boost because after he'd got them to agree....he never kept the date!! Hope thats not the case here OP but if so....lucky escape

It can only be the case though, because that's exactly what's happened.

I said earlier that i expected this sort of thing with online dating, which is why I don't do it any more. But to happen in real life , with someone I've known since April, that really hurts.

I guess if I see him I'll just walk past and ignore him.

It's just very odd. However, if I'm being honest, I knew at the start of this week, that this would happen. I would have bet money on it, because no one who likes a woman and wants to see her, replies with a fucking emoji.

He could well be thinking exactly the same as you and wondering why you haven’t been in touch. Where’s the harm in texting him and asking if he’s still up for meeting up today? If he doesn’t reply he’s a twat and you’ll be no worse off but he might be worrying that you’ve changed your mind as he hasn’t heard from you either!

No.

That's crazy. If a man wants to see you he will make it happen..

The last two times i have tried to start a conversation with him, it hasn't gone well, I don't need to go for a third.

Did he ever text you OP? He sounds like a very odd bloke.

No. He didn't.

I text him in the end. Many apologies later and we went out for lunch today. Actually had a really lovely time and he said about doing something this week, am happy if that happens but if it doesn't that's also ok as today was nice on its own, if that makes sense.

I don't get what he did wrong? He casually asked you for a catch up, you agreed. Then you went into hissy fit mode because you didn't like his responses to your messages and because he couldn't mind read that you wanted him to set the time and place, not you.
You got there in the end, anyway.

He forgot. I would say That's 'wrong '
And probably not a great sign.

Not quite hissy fit, that's a bit patronising. I just was confused and didn't know what was going on, which is understandable when someone says one thing then forgets.
But we had a nice time and I don't have any further expectations.

So it was kind of a date but nothing was said, so could be in the “friend zone”? Bit confusing!

Hence me being stressed about it.