Children opening Christmas Gifts

[RenoSusan]

Last Christmas the family agreed that opening presents has become chaotic and unrewarding. We told the 3 - 11yrs, 9 and 8 - that we were having a practice and they could open 1 gift if they learned how to do it. First I opened a practice gift (a pair of socks) and read the card first and told everyone who gave it to me. Then I opened the gift and held it up and said it was just what I wanted and the color was perfect. Then I thanked the person who gave it to me. I explained if it was a large gift I would jump up and hug that person. They loved me hugging myself. Then they got a turn. I told them if it was a stove mitt or a motorcycle, they had to follow the script. They took turns opening a gift and performed. All understand this is a show called "opening Christmas gifts" and they are participants. Doesn't matter what the present is, the script is the same. Our Christmas day was much better. I am trying to pass on an idea that might help.

You cant micromanage joy!

You did this for an 11 year old? Who “loved” watching you pretend to open a present and hug yourself? If this isn’t made up then 🙄

And have another 🙄 for teaching your kids that their gratitude for a gift should be dependent up its size/cost.

I’ve bern awake for far too long this morning and this thread has kept me thoroughly entertained. One of the few threads I’ve ever really laughed out loud a number of times for!
I think a book with a page allocated to various peoples present opening rituals would be a bestseller for next Christmas.

Op, while I get where you are coming from, perhaps have some presents where they can just rip them open and be excited and then have the presents where you take time to look and guess and say thanks if appropriate (ie the sender is there with you).

I grew up always receiving very few presents. If I had ripped them all open in a mad flurry it would have been over in about a minute and there was never anything else in the day to look forward to other than tv, so I used to drag out present opening for ages (as a child with my own presents) to try and make it seem more exciting.

You've got to be having a laugh!

In our household after lunch the youngest child had to sort all the presents from under the tree into piles for each person and we all opened 1 present at a time. I made the list for thank you notes.

Part of the fun for me is opening the present really carefully to spin out the surprise - hate the idea of ripping into presents. Also helps save wrapping paper for next year!!

Crumbs 😂😂😂😂

1970’s East Germany lives on.

In our house, wrapping paper is banned.
Our DD gets given household objects wrapped in tin foil. After carefully unwrapping the candlestick/soap dish / soup ladle, she will graciously express her joyous gratitude before smoothing out the tin foil and popping it back into the kitchen drawer so it may be recycled.

The household "gifts" are then put back in their rightful place, before we all hold hands and dance in a circle whilst singing Kumbaya.

After all that excitement, we stick the telly on and watch our favourite Christmas film, Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

Elinor, I think you approach works well for a relatively small number of people but in my in-law's case, that 'child' is still responsible for present sorting and deciding who will open next and she is in her 40s. She still tries to engineer it that she is the last with presents to open to spin it out for herself. Last year dh and I were practically begging her to open some presents as our small children, who were very good about watching lots of adults open totally dull presents before they could just get on and play, would have exploded if they had no presents left to open but then had to sit and watch auntie x open ten in a row. Ended up with dh grabbing gifts and firmly telling her she no one else was opening presents until she had opened some. She'd also wrapped about 5 or 6 things for our dc1 but only 2 for dc2 AND refused to put tags or names on any of them so there was no way dh and I could subtly sort things out so that dc2 was not left feeling that they had fewer. We kept asking if we could just sort out the dc's presents but she absolutely refused. It was awful and totally spoilt the whole thing for me.

Oh, just remembered there was also the year before we had dc that she completely reverted to 'little girl at Christmas with her family' and so appeared to forget I was there and just kept directly her parents and siblings to open gifts. Eventually dh had to stop her and suggest his wife might actually like to open her presents on Christmas day!

Is there an emoji for fun-sucking-vampire?

This procedure seems far less about the present or the child and instead adherence to a script. What if the child isnt totally enamoured with one of the presents? I get that a thanks is always a nice way to go but you are actually encouraging them to be liars.

My children all ready have the manor to say thank you for presents when their opened. We've also always gone one at a turn taking turns.

I think it's odd that you have to show older childte how to act so much that you had to practice it.

I can see you're not getting many positive replies Op. I actually thought when first reading your op that it was a good idea.
My kids go crazy at present opening, they get way too many present ( lots of family) and a lot of it is not things they want/ will use/ truly appreciate. If let loose they ripped through everything and a book/clothing/ toothbrush holder / umbrella will not have the same genuine joyful thank you and jumping up and down with joy reaction as the toy they really wanted or something related to something they like.
My kids always say thank you, but you can definitely see it in there eyes if it's genuine or polite! 😀
I think I may do a practice present opening session with them!

Glad I don't have Christmas in your house

I think that's a lovely way to teach children how to appreciate presents, after all we are not savages.
You haven't seen my kids on Christmas morning

Reading this reminds of that posh mum comedy sketch Catherine Tate used to do 😂.

What the fuck have I just wandered into?

Why have real joy, when you can have scripted joy?

My family have always done that since i can remember (Mum, Dad, and 3 of us kids) and I love it and am bringing it to be the way we do things now with DH and DCs. It makes the present opening last much longer. We also have someone sit by the tree to hand out presents which is nice and everyone takes a turn.
Have been to DH family for Christmas before and everything is in a bag and you all open at the same time so it’s over in 5 minutes! Madness

Maybe just teaching your kids not to be ungrateful brats is a better approach?????

Don't know why but this reminded me of this Mitchell and Webb sketch.

Sorry OP, I'm getting anxiety just thinking about having to open a present while everyone watches you in silence. then having to very quickly inspect the present, choose right words, tone of voice and facial expressions to express your gratitude. No thanks, I'd rather not have any presents please, it sounds like a punishment!

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this.

Sorry you can keep that idea!! Love watching people ripping paper off presents excitedly.

Are you my sister? I’m sure this is something she has done in the past...completely manipulating and stage managing “fun”. I have always felt dreadfully sorry for her children. Simply dreadful.