Can you ever really forgive and trust someone who has lied to you numerous times?

[Tillydog2003]

Just that really!
My OH has betrayed me so many times and I’ve let it slide.....to a certain extent!
This time it has really hit me hard as I thought we’d turned a corner, I asked him to leave as I just couldn’t bear to face him.
We have an almost 2yr old and all I want is a good, decent family for him and I feel guilty that his dad has turned out to be such a let down.
I can can never trust him, I don’t respect him and I feel like shit.

My child doesn’t have a choice as regardless of the shit that OH does to me he still has to see and have a relationship with his dad.
I’m not justifying his behaviour by any means, I know the extent of the damage, but there’s a difference between being a shitty partner and a shitty dad.
I grew up in a secure, loving, respectful home, my parents are still together and have been for 40yrs. It’s me that has lost my way from the men I’ve chosen to have relationships with.

Justbreathing,

He’s had therapy and is currently on the waiting list for more but I’m not sure if his dishonesty has ever been brought up in these sessions.

Ah atilla I’ve just realised you said my child doesn’t have a choice, sorry no unfortunately he does not! But that’s the point I was saying in terms of him being a good dad, our relationship shouldn’t have impact on how the little one sees his dad.

The two of you between you are showing this child what a relationship is like; what do you want to teach this child about relationship and what is he learning here from the two of you.

Would you want your son to have a relationship like yours is as an adult; I would think you would answer no you would not. But you are showing him that currently at least these behaviours from your partner is acceptable to you on some level.

Your child does not have a choice here in that he has to follow your lead. Its not your fault or your son's that his dad is like this; his dad has simply continued to carry on the same old that his own parents doled out to him. He did not have to do that but your man simply took the low road.

I completely agree, if I have one purpose in life it is to bring my son up to be a decent human being! He’s such a mummy’s boy, I know if he ever found out what a shit his dad has been he would have something to say, not that he ever will find out from my mouth, let’s hope his dad doesn’t let him down the way he has me.
I know what I need to do and despite how it may come across I’m far from weak.