Husband seems different

[Spacebound]

Hi, I don't really know how to describe it but lately my husbands personality seems different somehow. He feels distant, almost like he is bored of me/our relationship. I feel like he just can't be bothered with me. I said to him yesterday his personality seems different and he just said what do you mean there is nothing wrong with me. I feel like something isn't right but I just can't put my finger on it.

Also, sorry if this is tmi but he seems different in the bedroom too like a little more confident. I have noticed he wants to try different things like the other night he asked me to talk dirty which is not something we have really done before but he feels really disconnected like I'm just there to have sex with him and then that's it.

He has recently started running a few times a week and losing weight, could this have anything to do with it. He doesn't seem tired or anything though.

Am I just overthinking things or could there be more to it??

How is he with his phone? Attached?

I think you already know the answer to your question, OP.

Trust the words you've written here - it's not in your head.

Yes very, we have argued about it a lot lately. His friends are constantly texting him all night and if he is not doing that he will be looking on daily mail etc

Only your husband knows why he is like this, I would have a nice dinner and ask him in a supportive way why you feel things have changed. Doesn't mean he is cheating just tell him how you feel and why, see what he says and go from there

One of the first warning signs for my marriage ending, was a change in his bedroom activity, more adventurous for him equalled major pork and OW. And also the being distant thing.

Who can say what’s happening? Ask him if you think you will believe his reply, and go looking.

Porn not pork! Although possibly fitting.

I think he’s interested in or us having an affair.

Buy him an actual newspaper and see if he is still on his phone a lot!!

I thought pork was deliberate

Personally OP I'd have a snoop of his phone if I could do it without it being suspicious

Then decide whether a chat is indicated (if ok) or something else

Affair

but not the Mail ...
It all sounds very suspicious to me, I would probe deeper, especially the phone activity to 'friends'

You know that everything you have written points to an affair.
Do you have DC together?

No we don't have any children. We have been together 15 years, married for 3.

I feel like I know deep down something is going on with him, I just never thought he would be that person

No-one ever does.
We all say our DH would NEVER cheat.
They aren't the type etc.....
It happens every single day.
So what now for you?
He won't admit it so you will need to gather some evidence.
Can you access his phone? Tablet? Laptop?

Sounds very much like he's "playing away" to me. You will have to be like a ninja and get a look in his phone or laptop.
Chill out with the questioning now, till he relaxes a bit but keep your eye on any opportunity to have a good look in there.
I really hope that I am wrong but if he is, you need to know.
No Smoke Without Fire! As they say!

major pork

Sorry posted too soon! Sorry OP but it’s almost like you’ve listed the points from a ‘signs your OH is having an affair’ article.

His friends are constantly texting him all night

Are you sure it’s his friends?

I'm pretty sure it is his friends but I think I am going to have to check his phone

Mmm I’m watching this thread!!

Have you asked him if everything is ok ? Job worries ? Health ?

Sorry Space but that doesn't sound like friends constantly texting him...

I’d def be suspicious. Can you get on his phone when he is asleep or is their a pass code ?

Also how old is he? Texting friends all night???

When my ExP cheated on me he started doing more sport (to lose weight), buying new clothes, having more 'work nights out', being more adventurous in the bedroom, being more distant (which he later admitted was because he was hoping that I'd end things and he wouldn't be the bad guy). I hope your DH isn't cheating, but it sounds like quite a few of the warning signs are there.