Husband seems different

[Spacebound]

Hi, I don't really know how to describe it but lately my husbands personality seems different somehow. He feels distant, almost like he is bored of me/our relationship. I feel like he just can't be bothered with me. I said to him yesterday his personality seems different and he just said what do you mean there is nothing wrong with me. I feel like something isn't right but I just can't put my finger on it.

Also, sorry if this is tmi but he seems different in the bedroom too like a little more confident. I have noticed he wants to try different things like the other night he asked me to talk dirty which is not something we have really done before but he feels really disconnected like I'm just there to have sex with him and then that's it.

He has recently started running a few times a week and losing weight, could this have anything to do with it. He doesn't seem tired or anything though.

Am I just overthinking things or could there be more to it??

Signs all point to an affair but you never know, we re all strangers on the internet and could well be wrong. My husband had an EA 2 months ago and became distant. Hope we’re wrong OP but if it is an affair you ll be fine whatever happens.

I just can't stop thinking about it, it's making me feel sick. I have to try and get his phone tonight, we know each other's passcode so that's not a problem it's just getting it when he is not there. I don't think not finding anything will make me feel any better though

If the passcode has changed, that's quite a giveaway.

I agree, you are going to have to check his phone. Messages, calls, WhatsApp,Facebook and messenger, emails and of he has it, kik and snapchat. Check his internet history and also his gallery. I speak from experience, i found evidence of an affair/escorts this way. I really hope its not the same for you 9

Let's all cross our fingers and hope you have got this totally wrong. There must be some good guys out there.

Sounds like my ex when he was having an affair . Sorry.

He reads the Mail. That be enough for me.
However I hope what we suspect is not true

I don't think this looks good op.
But I wonder has he just been in a rut and wants to liven thing up a bit. The phone thing is suss though.

It's classic affair behaviour, if you can't get the actual phone can you get access to itemised bills?
It won't be his friends texting all night, I can guarantee it

Can I just come straight out an ask him if something is going on?

I wouldn’t. I’d dig first, then ask.

I wouldn't either, he'll just get better at covering his tracks

I wouldn’t ask him first. Check his phone, if he knows your on to him he might change his passcode then he will spin it round to you being “neurotic” when he’s discovered you’ve tried to check his phone and discovered the changed passcode.....voice of experience of a now divorced happy ex wife of a cheater/liar.

Do not ask!! If he is, he'll cover his tracks and you will never know. Check first.

@Spacebound ....I've got an awful sense of foreboding....I hope I'm wrong....😕

My ex felt distant. There was just a slight change. My dh however is glued to his phone. He’s happily leave it about when he showers etc and he’d happily let me look but normally of an evening he’s glued to it but no other signs. I think it’s understandable you’re worried.

don’t ask til you’ve got the phone. he can so easily cover his tracks if he thinks he needs to!!!

OP - you can check his phone. But it’s not so difficult to hide things if one is not totally stupid.

And, if you don’t find anything - you’ll still continue to feel like you feel and wonder.

In the end - you’ll have to talk to him. If something is not working or bothering you - tell him.

I got hold of the itemised phone bill. I couldn't prise his phone away from him! I recovered his password because I knew his recovery questions such as street he grew up on. There was one number that kept coming up - about 70 texts a day. I rang it and recognised the voice as we had been at a wedding a week previous and this woman was all over me...
I would try the phone bill.

... if he is not doing that he will be looking on daily mail etc.

LTB.

Can I just come straight out an ask him if something is going on?

If he is cheating there is a chance he will confess all if you ask him directly but he's more likely to wipe all traces and be more careful.

However, if he's not up to something its awful to know your're suspected of cheating and trying to prove your aren't doing something is a lot more difficult than it may seem.

Hope you’re ok op? Been there, totally know that horrific sickening feeling......x