Would you be wary of this man?

[anotherbadusername]

Just started dating new man. He seems really nice, we get on really well and we have a lot to chat about. We met online a month ago, have been on two dates (We are both single parents so difficult to meet) and chat a bit most days.

My issues of wariness. We haven't slept together but he loves talking about sex (almost every other conversation comes back go how sexy I am and how much he wants me). We had arranged to meet today and last night at 1130 he called to tell me how gorgeous and sexy I was, how much he liked me and how he was looking forward to having sex with me eventually. Today he told me his wife walked out on him and his child and how awful she was (I am sure she didn't behave well given he has some custody of their child). I have been around the block enough times to know that people don't just go over the edge and leave their kids for no reason and I wondered what his part in it was.

I think if if hadn't been for the late night call I might not have had the thought today but wonder if anyone else thinks his behaviour is a bit odd.

SGB there’s nothing wrong with having consensual sex with someone you don’t know. But there is also nothing wrong with wanting to wait. You now say “each to their own” but upthread you said that by waiting to sleep with a man that OP was perpetuating a ‘weird idea’ and ‘harmful myth’. She’s just living her life the way she wants to and doing what’s right for her. She should not feel pressured into having sex with someone just because some random thinks she’s perpetuating a ‘harmful myth’. Why do you feel the need to pressure others to live the way you do?

If you don't like how he speaks to you, then why do you think that you will sleep with him eventually?

Raise your standards and expectations.

If he's incapable of maintaining a conversation about anything other than sex (even when you have told him that you don't like it) then he's either boring as hell, 14, or completely uninterested in you as anything other than someone to shag.

And I'd worry his attitude of doing something during sex, you saying that you don't like it, and him pestering to do it anyway, would carry on into your physical sexual relationship.

In short. Urgh. I'd dump and move on.

It's the difference between wanting to wait a little while and believing or saying that people should wait, and that not to wait is wrong, which is harmful. Anybody who isn't a total dumbfuck knows that 'abstinence-based' sex education is disastrous, for example, yet the groups peddling this crap still get funded. Women still get told that they should ration out sex depending on how many hoops they can make the man jump through, or he won't 'respect' them.

The going on about sex would bore me rigid and I'd stop seeing because of that.

If he didn't harp on about sex all the time, I'd still stop seeing him because I doubt very much his ex is the bitch he says she is.

I'd find mention of sex in every convo a complete turn off to the point I'd be drier than the Sahara. It's just oafish and sexist, isn't it. The most un-sexy thing ever. Yuk.

Mistress yeah I'd hate it too

& yaaawn re the slagging off of the ex. So many men do this, looking for a pity fuck + "I'm the nice guy" brownie points. Not confident enough to go forward without bringing all that mess to the table. It's so unappealing.

A bit of sex talk is fine in the 'build up' but because you've not actually had sex yet, I'd find the explicit and direct nature of describing sexual acts really off putting

If a man is expressing desire for you (e.g. You have lovely eyes etc etc) then you can usually be assured they are saying this out of sexual desire.

The blatant "I want to fuck you" approach is totally cringe and a bit basic.

For that reason, I'd be out