I really don't think this is about chores....
This is about you op, losing it, your dh rightly asking you to calm down, then you lashing out at him bringing up the past.
You lost your temper and overreacted (as we all have at times). Your dh intervened to give you the opportunity to calm down. Instead you lashed out at him and turned this into a power game, where you are never allowed to be questioned for your behaviour, without you throwing in your dh's face a previous misdemeanor. In doing so, you take the focus off your own poor behaviour and make yourself a victim (who is overstressed and its all because your dh doesn't help enough). In making yourself the victim/ martyr, you completely forget the real victim in all of this, your ds! Your son, who you have left your cowering, feeling dreadful about himself. I don't see any concern at all in your post for how your ds felt in all of this! You are just seeking posters to demonize your dh and make you feel superior in your martyred role.
Yes, what happened in the past was awful, but we didn't need to know that, it could have easily been some other misdemeanor that you lashed out with, all to put your dh in his place so he knows not to question your behaviour again!
Your dh was right to question your behaviour and try to diffuse the anger that you were wrongfully directing at your ds! In our house, a broken glass becomes a 'OK anybody hurt? Who doesn't have slippers on' then dh will lift them out of the way of the glass, whilst they run to put their slippers on and dh grabs what he needs to clean the mess up. It's an oops moment that is dealt with quickly and lightly. If whoever dropped the glass is upset, they get a hug and told 'don't cry over spilt milk,'
My dh grew up in a house where he would be given a verbal tongue lashing for dropping a glass/ spilling. He was called an 'idiot, stupid, clumsy, pathetic' for something he had absolutely no control over (he has dyspraxia). But his parents are both toxic narcissists and dh has used his childhood as a manual on 'how not to parent'. Sometimes since becoming a parent, his mouth has come out with some toxic phrase and I have (as he has asked me to) intervened, sent him to calm down, then he has come back and apologised to our DC for what he has said. I never bring these incidences up, they were more common in the early days and were definitely a learning curve which dh determinedly conquered! (I catch myself sometimes spouting my Mother, thank goodness she is lovely and not a toxic narcissist! So to me my dh is bloody amazing, for conquering the subconscious brain farts, as I like to call them! )
Dh and I have an agreement, where if it sounds like one of us is over reacting (overly stressed/ losing their temper) the other will step in and take over. Its not a question on the others parenting skills, its purely a recognition that as humans we make mistakes. Dh has had to intervene with me before, tiredness has a habit of making everything seem worse than what it is! As parents, its important to have each others back, to be a team and work together. We also want our children to see that as adults, sometimes we make mistakes, we lose our tempers, but we take time to calm down! Then we apologise profusely for our behaviour! We recognise that our children are owed respect and apology. And in doing so we lay the foundation for how our children will hopefully deal with similar situations in life.
How you react in these situations, is teaching your child/ren about how to react themselves in similar situations. Whether like my dh, they take your example as an 'what not do' in that situation, or they take it as a how to, is going to impact your DC for the rest of their lives.
Whether you regularly explode at your DC, or this was a one off, only you know. Your dh, has obviously learned from mistakes of the past, he is implementing good parenting strategies and (if this small snippet of your lives is a reflection of his parenting overall) is setting good examples to your DC. If you do have anger management issues (as I have said, we all lose our temper now and then, we are only human, its how we repair the damage we have caused which is important!), I think perhaps a parenting course/ course on anger management which focuses on you and your behaviour may be beneficial. Your previous courses, were likely spent with your dh in mind, rather than considering your own behaviour.
As a couple, I would try not to throw things from the past at dh (although hands up, I'm not perfect and we are all human), I would apologise however and tell him I'm sorry and that I know he has worked hard to change his behaviour since then (and how proud I am that he has done that, it would have been a lot easier to just repeat the behaviours of his parents!!)
Disclaimer there were so many interruptions that it took me ages to finish writing this! As as result I have likely missed a hundred pages of posts! Please ignore any spelling or grammatical errors, I have very blurry vision today and the keypad hates me!!