Having a bit of a meltdown

[pinkkoala]

Maybe getting this completely wrong but i am divorcing ex h on unreasonable behaviour. I have left the marital home on 9th june and using unreasonable behaviour as my grounds. But getting in a flap as not sure if i can do that as seperated nearly 6 months now.
The reasons i am using are complete marriage breakdown, seperate bedrooms 5 years prior to separating, no financial support for dd, i had to move out and rent while he stays in marital home, him still trying to control who i see/where i go etc even now when we aren't together, him also now refusing to have dd while i work at nights.
I could go on deeper about police being called, a police notice being issued and possibly after this weekend gone he may be receiving some sort of order.
But he has said that he will sign providing its not too bad so trying to keep it sweet.
Can i still use unreasonable behaviour even if i left on 9th june.
I can't wait 2 or 5 years.

[TatianaLarina]

This is what your solicitor is for - to settle all of this.

[pinkkoala]

Does anyone know how i can stop ex h from coming near me, police have said non molestation order and that it could be done in 24 hours without me going to court.
National domestic abuse centre have said no as its not physical violence, only verbal and mental but with him constantly coming round.

[TatianaLarina]

It can be recent violence or threats of physical violence. So if he’s threatened you you should report it to police and then ring ncdv again.

A police report will help you get the non mol.

Otherwise you will have to go to lawyer.

[pinkkoala]

Panicking. Ex h has received court papers, he is now refusing to sign them or take anything off the court servers if i send them. I have photos to show he has received them. What can i do now.
I just want to apply straight to the courts as all the extra is costing me money, he doesnt have a solicitor so costing him nothing. I still feel he is doing all this for control. I just want to move on and be free of him.
What can i do.

[TatianaLarina]

What does your solicitor advise?

[pinkkoala]

She has said about a process server to serve papers but i have evidence he has them so not prepared to waste money on that as he has said he still won't sign or accept them.
I have photos to prove he has them so i would prefer to just go to court and try. My ex is a controlling man and has tried everything to stop me moving out, stop me moving on and trying to stop divorce. He even rang my solicitor last week and was aggressive with her over the phone. I just need this man out of my life.
All this has been at a cost to me and he has shelled out nothing. Him not having a solicitor has made it worse for me as he can string it out at no cost to him.
I can't see no light at the end of the tunnel at the moment.

[rizlett]

Op - he sounds like a man who will say {and do} anything and everything to wind you up.

Please have faith in your solicitor and what she tells you. Please really consider contacting Womensaid to get some good support - they really understand how men like him do what they do - and how they make you feel. It sounds like you need more people in your corner to help fight him.

There's also good help on this forum regarding your questions.

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Advice-and-discussion-forums.html

[Wallywobbles]

You need to block contact with him. Get advise on how to do that here. Maybe here on this thread, maybe on a new thread in relationships. All communication can go through your lawyer.

[pinkkoala]

Hi. I have contacted womens aid and had a good chat with them. He has said to me yesterday again he won't sign as in his words "you will regret this one day and you do realise divorce is final" to which i said yes i know and i have no regrets.
This is all making me ill, i am losing so much weight, not sleeping etc. I just want it all to be over.
It seems to me that my solicitor is being too lenient with him and giving him time. Can i not say no to court servers and just straight to courts. I have sent her photos to show he has the papers. X