Anyone had marriage counselling? Advice needed please.

[MinecraftMother]

So the husband and I are in a bad place.

Married just over 10 years, together 15. Three children all school age. Both have stressful full time jobs now.

Things started to go downhill when I went back to work and didn't get the support I'd given him when he was forging his way.

I'm fucking sick of wifework and emotional labour falling to me.

I'm resentful, don't want to have sex, moody all of the time, sniping, harsh and recently when he had an injury just saw it as another way for him to do fuck all (when I needed him
Most - packing us all up for a half term trip). I resented him so much for injuring himself. I'm a terrible nurse! If he has treated me with such disdain you'd have told me to LTB.

So we can't seem to live together.

I want to try counselling. Where do you find a good one? Has anyone got any stories from their marriage counselling working for them? Or not?

We are so at odds now, we fairly hate each other. We used to be best friends. The laughs we had!! Distant memory.

[Saffydarling]

I'm sorry to hear you have found yourself at this place. I don't have personal experience but friends have. I would say Relate can vary depending on the person you get to see. I've heard negative stories but also a couple of positive ones. If you want to find a counsellor check out the BACP website as they should provide a list of everyone accredited in the UK. Don't settle for the first one if you aren't sure. You need to be comfortable enough to divulge most inner thoughts. It can be a very personal experience. I would suggest you both consider individual counselling with the aim of coming together for couples counselling at the right time. It will allow you both time without creating more conflict. You will be able to work out your own issues and then hopefully work together in the couples session. You may also get more response if you post this in the relationships board. Good luck.

[MinecraftMother]

Thanks for your reply Saffy, kind of you.

I think individually would be good too - you're right x

[LornaMumsnet]

We're just sending this to our relationships topic at the OP's request.

for you, OP.

[SandyY2K]

I would recommend an organisation called marriage care. I know a lot about them, aa volunteer with them.

It isn't a Catholic organisation, even if it looks thst way oon the website.

Their goal is supporting people to have successful
relationships.

Feel free to PM me with any questions .... I can explain more to you about them/what I do without outting myself.

[Nadeynoo]

I haven't had marriage counselling but had counselling with my ex-financé. I would recommend one or both of you having a quick chat on the phone with the counsellor in advance - finding one who is the right fit for you is really important.

[MinecraftMother]

Thanks guys. We're looking into who to go with this week.